A Year of Boring Nothingness
by Jim Hlavac
It has been a year and a little more since gay folks were included in marriage laws. It has been incredibly boring. Nothing much has happened – except well, some 500,000 to 1,000,000 gay couples got married. The numbers aren’t in yet – but surely in that range. They all got the officiant of their choice, and their venue, their cakes and gowns and tuxes and flowers and photographers and caterers and went on their honeymoons and all that pertains to the happy joining of two people in love. And nothing much happened to anyone else, perhaps great-aunt Mary had the vapors for a bit. It has not made the news, in fact. Not a peep about the weddings that went off without a hitch.
It is true that two bakers, one in Oregon and one in Colorado, were penalized for publicly refusing to serve a gay wedding. But two out of the numbers of gay marriages is not bad. Obviously the nation’s other some 6,000 bakers I’m told exist had no issues with making cakes for gay couples. Two did. To be sure there was a gay cad down in Texas who tried to say there was such an issue. He was quickly uncovered as a hoax and he disappeared. I don’t think people should be penalized for refusing service – but it has been a contentious issue for the Irish, Blacks, Chinese, Japanese, Jews and many others too I’m sure. And over the decades it was recognized, and codified, that refusing service for such characteristics is wrong. There’s even laws everywhere that say “you can’t discriminate on the basis of marital status” – and now especially gay folks have such a status. It’s not like it’s a new law, they’ve been around for decades. None of them say “Except homosexuals.”
There was one florist and one photographer who were penalized for refusing service. Again, thousands of providers provided what was paid for. Gay folks are paying for all this – it’s not a government program you know. Who knows how many small business owners on Main Street got a small boost in earnings from the weddings that went off without a hitch? There must have been some economic impact.
There was a mechanic shop in Wisconsin, or Minnesota – somewhere up there – who announced he would not fix the trucks of gay men. Not a gay man had went near the guy, but he felt it necessary to announce he was not going to earn a few bucks from gay men. It is a strange business practice to refuse money from shoppers. Actually, it’s lesbians who tend to own trucks among us. Perhaps he would still serve them, he didn’t say.
There was a wedding chapel up in Idaho who preemptively announced that they too would not serve gay folks. None had asked them to. They just wanted to make sure we knew we were not welcome where we did not want to go – and drum up a little business for themselves.
In fact, all the victims of gay shoppers have set up gofund me pages and other fund raising tools and have raised stupendous funds. The mere threat of a gay shopper seems to elicit donations by the 10s of thousands of dollars. We don’t even get a thank you.
The pizza shop in rural Indiana probably did the best. They raised something like a $1,000,000. All because a heterosexual reporter went out to the boondocks 30 miles from the nearest gay guy to ask if some fine people in the middle of nowhere would – if improbably asked – would they serve pizza to a gay wedding and deliver it 30 miles away. The nation went haywire over this unlikely scenario. You know, I have been to a fair number of weddings – you probably have too. Did you ever hear of pizza at a wedding reception? Ever? And don’t pizza shops have like a delivery zone – you know, call the next Pizza Hut over?
One county clerk in all America – 3064 counties, 25 independent cities – and one clerk had a fit and would not issue licenses to the few gay couples that could have conceivably come to her rural county office and asked for one. Kim Davis, married 4 times, divorced 3, and children out of wedlock, had her Biblical scruples plain as day over gay men or lesbian couples together for decades right there in her tiny hometown. She too earned a tidy sum for her stand. I’m sure a forthcoming book or movie is in the works, to milk her celebrity status. She will not thank us for giving her the opportunity of a lifetime.
And what else? Did I miss anything? Yes, “homosexual activists” had their say, some where obnoxious. Makes us seem kind of normal, yes? Like any in the political class, was it important what they said? Did it affect your life? And though both liberal and conservative alike still speak of “Gay rights” – there is no such thing. There are only American and Human Rights. America defines them better – a little bit tattered of late, I agree. But the gay thing is worldwide. It’s not happening in America. It’s happening in Cairo and Teheran, and Beijing, Moscow and Warsaw, and Kuala Lumpur and Nairobi and Lagos and across Africa and down to Buenas Aires, Santiago and Mexico City and beyond. It’s worldwide. The same symbols, the same words. Stonewall, gay, LGBT, the rainbow flag – it’s worldwide – the same people who ask to be included, just as we are. We will not change, never.
You might still think it wrong and against your God. I don’t mind. But we have our God. And we all have the right to our own God. But doom was foretold, and all manner of concerns were bandied about. And has anything happened? No, not really. Except for the folks who got married. It meant very much a great deal to them.
So, Donald Trump has picked Mike Pence for Veep — frankly I think it a poor choice. Trump had the opportunity to find a woman, a black guy or a Latino — and there’s plenty of conservative ones … to really blow the lid off the establishment, and fend off the charges made by the left and Democrats.. Maybe that’s why he picked Pence — to quell the Republican establishment and the “never Trump” wing of the Republicans. Still, he has to win an election — not just make the party happy.
Of course, the media — beholden to Clinton as they seem to be — will bring up “the gay thing” — they will pepper him with questions on his views of us few men … his answers are bound to create controversy and outrage even. And the man is not gay friendly in the least — he thinks we’re some dire threat to society somehow — he can’t explain it — it’s a vague feeling he has, I’m sure.
However, there are probably more children in troubled homes and child protective services, orphanages and foster care than there are gay folks — tend your kind, Mr. Pence – and stop obsessing over us – -egad.
Well, so that’s the choice – -I think it no good. Enjoy the ride sir, though it will be bumpy.
I often wonder if the violence of America is because of our gene pool. That is, the immigrants who came to these shores were quite a bunch. European nations for centuries emptied out their prisons, insane asylums, troublemakers, dissidents, anyone who didn’t fit in over there — were rounded up and sent here. Cuba did it in the 1980s with the Mariel boat lift. And their legacy in genes is what makes so many Americans crazy. It is said that those who left anywhere else to come to America had gumption, and that that is where the entrepreneurial spirit comes from. So why can’t it be that the bad gene pool came too?
Well, it’s a theory I think about — where I really don’t have a shred of proof.
They myth has been circulating now for 100 years — it really picked up steam 60 years ago – -and now is just part of the vernacular. It surfaced immediately after a clear and obvious example of a jihadi Muslim on the warpath. No, it couldn’t be the simple reason. It has to be the contorted complex reason that no one has ever explained adequately. Not in a hundred articles in the scientific literature is it really proven, so much as stated. Occam is rolling over in his grave.
People who study this aren’t really sure what a “homophobe” is – -the word is actually very new compared to the alleged studies done. What were all those 95% of the straight population called 50 years ago when still more studies purported to show that only secret gay men attack other gay men?
But the theory is clear — only secretly closeted self-loathing gay men attack, beat up, and kill gay men. Not a hetero would ever do such a thing! — Why they love us to smooches.
But look at the long list of what could be called homophobic people — preachers, pastors, imams, politicians, pundits. Surely this endless discussion over marriage and cake presented person after person who exhibited “homophobia” — there were a 100 briefs filled with the Supreme Court by organizations and individuals all expressing clearly some sort of homophobia. They weren’t gay friendly! …and we’re to believe by this study … https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201106/homophobic-men-most-aroused-gay-male-porn
That all these people are really super secreted closeted gay men.
Kim Davis of Kentucky — vehemently opposed to happiness for gay folks — clear in a her Biblical denouncing of gayness — surely she’s really just a secret lesbian, yes? That’s the logic.
The various preachers extolling the slaughter and calling for more of it? That’s Homophobic writ big — ergo – but this study, by this logic – they are really secret self-loathing gay men. What else could they be? Only we hate us – yah, sure.
More bizarre to the theory is the corollary that no straight person would ever harm a gay man. Since only secret gay men do – heterosexuals are off the hook. Lifetime inculcation that gay men are abominations who are worthy of death mean nothing to them. It’s a big hahahaah — why, only secretly gay men are anti-gay.
Which leads to still another startling conclusion — since there’s far more “homophobes” and anti-gay people than there are open gay men — then there’s really far more secret gays than open gays. Well, golly be, all these people should come out and we’d make up 40% of the population at this point.
Though 50 years ago — when nearly everyone was homophobic — everyone was secretly gay. I guess it wore off, eh?
What are we to say about people around the world attacking, killing, stomping on gay men? Are they all secretly gay? Every single last one of them? That’s what the “study” purports by logic if not by words. They can’t even follow their logic to the end of the trail. The police in Istanbul just attacked and beat a gay pride even, they did it in Belgrade last year. Are the cops and authorities all super secreted gay — that’s why they attack open gay folks? yeesh. — but that’s the logic if “homophobes are secretly gay.”
In every single attack on gay men in the past 60 years the secret self-loathing gay man has been blamed. Well, what are the men attacking lesbians? Secret self loathing lesbians?
More astonishing is that when a heterosexual shoots up a venue — no one says “Well, he’s really a secret self-loathing heterosexual out to kill open heterosexuals. The idea is preposterous.
But for gay folks it must be true. That millions of gay men have come out the closet after years of some sort of secret, self-loathing, hiding, repression, what have you — and never shot or killed anyone seems not to mater. How is that all gay men come out in peace – but only secretly self-loathing gay men come out in violence — and only against open gay men.
No one ever laid the killing of straight people at the feet of the secret self-loathing gay man, that’s for sure.
And so just this once — deviating from the standard pattern of a crazed jihadi Muslim screaming for ISIS, Allah, and other Arabic/Muslim causes shooting up just anywhere — none of that matters — it’s really he’s just a secret self-loathing gay man. Well, isn’t that convenient — a simple way to brush so much under the rug, eh?
Gary Johnson, the Libertarian party candidate, is the best choice for president because he might actually look at the morass and try to sort it out — rather than just leave it the way it is. He won’t add more to it, like Hilary and Donald want to do. He’ll start to eliminate some things. He’s a detail man, apparently, coming from running his own big business and being governor of New Mexico. Sure, it’s a small state, but mostly Hispanic Democrats — and he won twice by good margins.
He’s likely to cut a few pointless programs. Perhaps combine a few others and lessen the numbers of bureaucrats required to run it. Perhaps he’ll cut some of the paperwork. He’s into downsizing the size of government — not the so called “essential services” – but the bloated fluff which permeates the system. Do we really need so many administrators in the Department of Education to monitor compliance with endless confounded rules that add not one thing to education? I can see Johnson sitting down with the organization chart and a red pencil to strike out the ones that might not be necessary.
He’ll work to end the pointless “War on Drugs” — it wastes billions of dollars, erodes civil rights, incarcerates harmless people, and eschews billions in potential tax revenues.
He’ll work to simplify the tax code — perhaps even to a “fair tax” or “flat tax” — ideas broached by many. But at least certainly simplify the IRS code if nothing else. That thing is absurd. Hilary and Donald don’t say a word about it, Johnson does.
Surely he’ll work to end the subsidies to all sorts of companies that really don’t need a dime – let them earn it the good old fashioned entrepreneurial way, or fall by the wayside. Who knows what billions could be saved from ending countless subsidy programs? It’ll be difficult for sure – entrenched piggies are at the trough, they are not easily shooed away.
I’m not sure he knows what to do about foreign policy as anyone else does. He’d be for free trade with the peaceful countries, for sure. He’s not looking to start a trade war with anyone. Nor is he looking to start any hot war with anyone either. He’s not full of bombast about bombing our enemies — which we really can’t even identify. Surely in the Middle East, the most contentious war-ridden place on earth — we can’t tell who is our friend and who is our enemy. Perhaps Johnson will end some of the pointless war – like Afghanistan — we’re not going to fix it — we’re not going to make it a democracy. Give it up. Johnson is a realist on this — even if perhaps he’s not sure how to go about it. But I trust his judgement on figuring it out. Hilary and Donald seem to just want to become more embroiled in reshaping these Muslim countries that want to be left alone to their devices. Leave them be.
Perhaps there is some money to be saved at the Pentagon — perhaps we are spending too much on new weapons and upgrading — how much more do we need? Who is going to invade us?
Johnson will I think work towards stopping the militarizing of the police. He’s for civil liberties, not the police state.
On the so called “social issues” — there’s really just two of them – abortion and homosexuality — forever linked somehow — and he’s sort of a hands off let people live as they wish.
Johnson isn’t going to be out wholesale bothering Mexicans or Muslim or Refugees or Immigrants … or will he be simply opening the gates to anyone. Hilary is really for open borders in a way that Johnson is not. There is an ‘open the border with Mexico’ movement among Libertarians, true. And Johnson has flirted with that. But who can say that the current system is working? We have this porous border. But with open borders comes reciprocity = Americans should be allowed to go live in Mexico, own land, businesses, even vote. Though the whole thing is so complex that even if Johnson seems for open borders it’s not going to happen anytime soon. it’s sort of sop to the strongly opinionated on it.
The international community is not panic-stricken of a Johnson presidency, mostly because they don’t know about him. But they sure seem to be worried about a Clinton or Trump presidency. Who knows what those two mavericks looking for stardom will do?
I can’t vouch for every position Johnson might hold. Truth be told, I haven’t even read much about them in detail. But I know he won’t act in a vacuum to just decree stuff, he’ll work with congress and the governors — he does not have the authoritarian streaks that are thick down the backs of Clinton and Trump.
And isn’t that the choice now? Either an authoritarian (albeit with different styles) or a guy for liberty. Two who would use government diktat to reshape America more to their liking – -and a guy who would get the government out of the way so Americans can shape America as they wish. Well, that’s why I’m for Johnson.
So two ever shifting, conniving blowhards with no real plans other than to focus on the real issues with soaring platitudes are running for president. That’s charming. It’s dangerous, actually. Neither one knows what to do about a single problem. At most they’ll create more problems. They’re not going to lower the national debt. They won’t curtail the deficits. They won’t go through the thousands of laws and rules and regulations that currently bedevil the land and rid us of them. But they shall propose bold new initiatives, to leave their mark.
They shall both seek to be meddling busybodies in people’s lives. They both have plenty of ideas about how every group of identify politics shall interact with each other. They shall set up hoops and barriers to make sure all the people cooperate as they wish. It’s rather kingly if you ask me.
On foreign policy they aren’t that much different. The bombing starts in 5 minutes. Bombing what where almost seems beside the point. No one is really attacking us — but we need a robust defense. Both seek to meddle in the age old ways of places faraway that we’re not going to change. We’re not going to make Iraq or Pakistan function any different than what they’ve been doing. The influence of America is far slighter than people imagine. Don’t let the bombs fool you — the minds won’t be changed.
Of course, there has to be endless discussion of their positions on “LGBT” people — why we need all this special consideration is besides me — but they’ve both flipped flopped all over it like your average hetero. They’re no different than most — they are gay perplexed.
I suppose there’s some differences — but are they worth noting? Hilary supposedly is “stronger on woman’s issues” because she is one – though what those issues are is quite nebulously described.
Supposed their immigration ideas differ — and that’s perhaps the biggest difference. And the nation is in an anti-immigrant flavor right now — as they go through about every 40 years — so this is a strong issue for Trump.
Meanwhile, between Bernie and the conservative fundamentalists — both parties are faced with sizable insurgencies that seek to disrupt the conventions and get a candidate more to their choosing, rather than was picked in the apparent charade of the primaries and caucuses have shown the system to be.
Well, it certainly is interesting times — but nothing much will change except to get worse by increments hopefully, and nothing too dramatic.
Or all the people not happy with Hilary or Donald can vote for Gary Johnson and get some rational governance.
I talked to my father today — he and I see eye to eye on many subjects. I guess I’m still the apple at the base of the tree. We talked of many things in our hour long conversation on Father’s Day … and Orlando came up — for how could it not? And he blamed it fair and square on a crazed Muslim Jihadi. He didn’t try to jump through hoops about the man’s secret repressed homosexuality that caused him to lash out at open gay men – -because just this once the super secreted closeted self-loathing homo — was also a crazed jihadi Muslim — my dad and I agree on this simple point. It was just another off the shelf normal run of the mill everyday crazed Muslim Jihadi out to kill infidels. It was most decidedly NOT a secret self-loathing gay man. Not a gay man in history ever shot his family, church, club, bar, shopping mall – you cannot find a report ever that any gay man randomly killed people. Oh, we have passions, a few of us perhaps have killed a lover — eh, happens with heteros far more frequently.
And he shot 45 sons — and so 45 dads are greatly grieved … and still there are religious figures and politicians and public figures who fail to see this — this reality — gay men are someone’s sons. Every one of us. But this is never mentioned as they bewail “homosexuality” — they’re bewailing some concept they’ve conjured up in their minds — and ignore the reality of the men they castigate and loathe – we’re sons. All gay men have dads.
And I’m sure every gay man called his dad today and had their father-son talk. Well, some gay men perhaps couldn’t — not because of anything more than the father for some reason couldn’t handle the fact that they had a gay son. Oh, decades ago it was far more troublesome — but well, that’s all gotten better.
But me and my dad? We have a great relationship – not without its rocky points — though never once did I have to say to him “Dad, I’m gay” -and have this big discussion. Because you know why? He knew from the get go. He knew when I was 12 or 14 even — when I was 15 he said to me “I don’t even know what to tell you about the birds and bees” – I told him, “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.”
Throughout my life, when I introduced male friends to my father — he simply said, “Ah, so you’re my son’s friend, glad to meet you.” — and I never have introduced my father to a woman I knew — surely he knows — it’s obvious – -it doesn’t need to be stated. That’s a great day to have – -I have a great dad.
Not all gay sons have such great dads. But when these politicians, religious figures, culture commentators, pontificators of all kinds – when they talk of gay men as some terror to society — and “homosexuals” as they love to call us — they ignore with a passion the reality that all gay men are sons – -and any dad — randomly by nature for some reason not yet known – can have a gay son — or two. No one knows why — there’s 101 theories. And every dad with a gay son has to deal with that.
And at least 45 American Dads are having to deal with the fact of a dead gay son this week — and I doubt I’ll see many people point this out.
It’s been many months since I posted any comments here — I got sick and tired of the nonsense I saw every day. What was I going to say to influence anything anyhow? Probably nothing. And yet that doesn’t seem a really good reason to not post my thoughts on the conundrum of our times — which is the bizarre presidential race. I moved over to facebook for a while — what a zoo that is. I never saw such lack of logic, thought, real ideas, anything — there’s nothing but emotions — and strong ones at that. Then there’s this bizarre belief that only the government can solve problems. So strong is it that cities have actually outlawed individuals and small groups trying to feed the homeless – only government run programs are allowed to do that now.
I have a facebook friend who was a big Berniac — he’s sure Bernie is the savior of our times. And then in a mix of posts — on the one hand he decried police power, and government rules and the corruption and chicanery — and then he argued for more government — I kept telling him — what you complain about you want more of. He didn’t get it. He thought perhaps that this time, for the first time in 5,000 years the right people would be found to run this joy of altruism he thinks is out there somewhere. He was anti-religion and loved the pope. A gay man, he hated the Jews but loved the Arabs. Eh, he had to go.
Indeed, I went through so many facebook friends it was hard to keep track of them. There were the memers — apparently without an independent thought in their minds — and memes so convoluted, often misspelled and grammatically incorrect — so one night I cleaned out some 30 memers from my “friends” list.
And isn’t there a word way too misused on Facebook? — I wasn’t “Friends” with these people — and some of them struck me more as enemies than friends.
For a while I had a habit of accepting a “friends” request from anyone who asked — eh, why not? Find out what’s on people’s minds. Now I know — mostly crap. I got rid of dozens of them — what was the point of these aggravating people in my life?
Though some people were true friends — especially after the Orlando shootings. Many called me even after I told them I was having severe mental strain dealing with. While other people after Orlando showed such a sadistic glee it amazed me.
Anyway — I think I’ll return to blogging more regularly now — it’s a “safe place” as they’re known in modern terms — a place I can say what I want without anyone contesting me or arguing with me.
It is amazing what has transpired since 45 gay men and a few valiant women were killed at a gay men’s dance hall — dozens more injured. Oh sure, the usual gun debate — that’s predictable. Of course the police reaction must be measured and determined to see if all was done right, or could be done better. ISIS seems to involved — where they were – until the meme surfaced that this wasn’t an Islamic attack on the US — no sirree bob – this was a self-loathing gay man acting out – problem solved. Why, I was even called “faggot” on a poetry page at Facebook, because well, you know – it was just faggots who died, so who cared?
That not once in 100 years was a gay bar ever shot up — eh, piffle – self-loathing gay men kill open gay men all the time — that’s what said – that’s what the “scientific” literature says — only self-loathing gay men attack other gay men.. It’s been a standard in psychiatric and psychological texts and journals for 60 years. There’s been recent “studies” that purport to show every last homophobe in the nation is really secretly gay.
When 32 gay men were burned to death in 1974 it was summarily announced by the police “eh, angry gay man” and not even an investigation was done – Upstairs Lounge fire — look it up … families didn’t even claim their “loved” ones – they didn’t give a shit what happened to the bodies of their gay sons — I suppose by the theory then all the families were secretly gay, yes?
Anyway — it’s been saddening amusing to watch so many people squirm. I mean, honoring dead gay men is just not something that is done. Surely it can be brushed aside and ignored …and thus the convenient self-loathing gay man was resurrected — because just this once a Muslim screaming Jihad was faking it.