I want an apology from GMHC today

Now people – you will apologize to me – you morons called police against me — you had me — your piano player – hailed out of my house — by police — are you always this arrogant and insane and rude? always? who the fuck do you think you are? That’s me — playing your piano which none of you could be bothered to listen to my wondrous music — such rude arrogant crap is astonishing — you couldn’t be bothered to hear me play my glorious music which I played for you – and instead — called police against me — like NAZIS — to have me hauled away — are you all always this fucking insane? From an organization I helped set up at the beginning? really? Oh, — say it ain’t so — I was bar buddies with Larry Kramer your founder – -and you had me hauled away by police! — are you that insane?

Fear not – I am 2800 miles away in Mazatlan Mexico — far from your evil crap —

now – I suggest strongly — I get — an email with the heading “we apologize” — so I might be bothered to read it —

Any bureaucratic bullshit will be dismissed — and on comes the next assault — you got no clue — I am not shy.

I have a public blog — this email will be posted there too — “the daily mush’ — now — apologize – now – or we might need lawyers — you have fucked with the wrong sissy — trust me — for I have used my blog for nigh on 10 years to extol the glory of gay guys — I tackled all of America — you are nothing. Trust me …

Now – -today — apologize — try — in your tiny bureaucratic hard hearts — to be decent — and send me an email with the subject heading “we apologize” — No other email of yours will be read by me — only the one that says “we apologize”-

Is this not clear to you? egad — miserable people — you are miserable …

cheers – your favorite hlavac

GMHC Lied about me — apologize

My dear people – you will issue me an apology — here’s me playing your piano — which none of you could be bothered to hear me play to applause — you are moronic — and I am not shy

now — I want to see an email to me – 2800 miles away so don’t worry – with a heading “we apologize” for hauling me off by police — you lied – what can I say

Now get to work – hurry – not too hard – apologize – be decent -and not miserable bureaucrats –

if you think I am done – you are insane

I am deeply enraged like you got no clue –

And I suggest -strongly — merely apologize – -that”s it

Then — I will go away – and never speak to you idiots again

But – if I do not get this apology – I will continue — again — from 2800 miles away – to hound you

I want – and demand — an email with the subject heading ‘we apologize” -that’s it – that simple

get to work and do it — -you lied about me — and sent police to me to take me away — you are deranged and I am pissed off

OK good — do it – hurry

this now will be posted to my blog – enjoy

Your favorite HlavacGMHC5

Walquidia – you lied — why?

It is always fun for me to see who lied about me and why.

Why did you lie about me? I want to know — and I want an apology . You — if not you — who? find out  — tell me — and I will rescind this post … but as near as I can figure – you lied — you called police against me. Why? Why would you do this? What insanity do you possess? But I assure you – you – and GMHC fucked with the wrong sissy — trust me.

Now — to be clear – I will hound you for the rest of your miserable days. I find you to be a miserable broad. I despise you, in fact. You are the sort of woman I sought to avoid all my life.

Now — someone – you — or others — the police told me “an email” I wrote — I only wrote to you — so – who else? What would possess you to call police against me to have me hauled off — are you deranged? I think so — but — you fucked with the wrong fellow. Trust me – and I am not done yet — you will apologize to me — or tell me — who? Who did this? This monstrosity? Who? Why? What could possess your idiocy?

Now — get to work – and find out.

I am though — I assure you – the last sissy to fuck with.

Cheers — you favorite Hlavac … 🙂 oosh

To Mr. Louie — GMHC NYC

My dear Mr. Louie — I want — and demand — a heartfelt apology — from GMHC and whichever of your minions trashed me — and had me hauled off by police – I will not relent — never.

sir – I am a public figure for 45 years – I am not shy — nor in anyway unaware — I am pissed as fucking hell — I have a blog and other public forums – I will come at you like “white on rice” as the Louisiana phrase has it –me and Louisiana — you got no clue. You, in fact — know nothing of me — and you don’t want to know — but instead insist on endless questions about negatives in my life — there are none — except — SS Agents — like yourselves — yes — SS — like Nazis! — to have me hauled off by police is NAZI like — it was amazing. Me, sitting calmly in my room at the YMCA on W 135th st. NYC– and then — police at my door to haul me off — whom did this absurdity? Whom?

You may google me till your eyes pop out — I don’t give a damn — you will find nothing but wondrous good. And your organization lied about me to the point of police at my door. Amazing.

now – someone in your organization — probably some nitwit named Walquidia Sierra — called police against me — and had me hauled off by police — and I am pissed off — you got no goddamn idea

Now – I suggest to you — as YOUR piano player — you go find out something about me — rather than imagining whatever shit you think — for I am one of the most wondrous men you ever met in your life.

You — sir — have a job — because of what I created — the GMHC — there back then in the beginning. I tell you again– I was bar buddies with Larry Kramer your founder. I was at the tables in the Ninth Circle when you were created — I did it — me. OK?

And you trashed me — someone — find out who. I am 2800 miles away in Mazatlan Mexico — where I am “el gringo especial del centro historico”– I am someone special here — I am in good hands — don’t you worry, nope.

I aim to keep this brief — but sir — I assure you — I am not done yet —

Now you have two choices — you — yes you — find out what this absurdity is about – and apologize to me with good heartfelt concern — or you will face my undying scorn publicly — oh you got no clue what I am about.

Someone lied about me in NYC — I suspect Walquidia — you may find out differently — and then I shall be decent as I am — and apologize to her –but — WHO! called cops against me? I want to know — and I demand an apology from them — Not some mealy mouthed nonsense from Lynette Ford — not some “oops” — but “I am very sorry Mr. Hlavac this occurred”

Now – you get to work —

I am not done yet — 🙂

OK? good

I am not shy — nope — you got no goddamn clue — perhaps go listen to the 17 string quartets I composed in NYC while you nitwits were “going forward with your case”

Am I clear? I am not a supplicant — I am Hlavac — a man beyond your imagination … google me – I don’t care– 🙂

OK? good — this email will be posted as an “open letter” to my blog — the Daily Mush
you all have fucked with the wrong fellow

I await – an apology — today — now — in a New York minute….

Cheers– your favorite Hlavac

Not a one of your minions will call me Jim as I prefer — and NONE can pronounce my hlast name — and dismiss my heritage as shit — amazingly so — but — but! — my preferred pronoun is “your royal heinie”– and you may kiss it —

I am the last fellow you wish to fuck with — I assure you .

Lynette Ford – you’re a liar

My dear Lynny — no one in your organization will call me Jim  as i request – but are so sure of my pronouns — none of which seem to be male – I can be as female as I wish – but a guy? a gay guy? — no — this is too much — for an organization I helped create — and so I don’t give a fuck Lynny — Jim is too much for you fucking broads – disgusting — but — I got a forum — where I can speak as I wish — sue me. Go ahead — let’s take this crap to a court! I would love a judge to hear this bullshit out of your mouths. I really  would. — Sue me — so we can talk — in peace — in front of a judge. 🙂 enjoy — I am not — done — yet!

You — or someone there — lied about me — and sent police to my house — to haul me away — who? if not you –  who?

And if you think I am a shy gay asshole – you are sadly mistaken — now — publicly — I ask – who? Who did this evil?

Since no one will tell me – I turn to the  public where I have ample 1st Amendment Right protected resources –who? ”

Tell me — cheers your favorite hlavac — and Hlearn how to pronounce my hlast name — thanks

Walquidia Sierra — you lied

My Dear Wally — who refused to call me “Jim” – -my name — I don’t give a crap about you — you lied – or  someone did — to police in NYC to have me hauled away.  If not you — who? Find out  — and I will rescind this post — but — as near as I can figure – -you – you lied. I despise you – you lied —  not you? Then find out who — and tell me — who — had me hauled by police. Do not tell me, woman – mealy mouthed “I don’t know!” — You — will — tell me — who?

You are deranged – you promised me various things — food, transport — more- a house – and you lied  — none of which I asked for — well, an apartment — you lied about it.

I have a public blog — Protected by the First Amendment —

I got gay balls beyond your comprehension — we — we few — did what we could – for our fellows long ago back then– without a form — without an agency — without a women in sight – what do you do? as you mumble on? eh? tell me — but first — Wally — fuck you – -you can’t even call me Jim.

Get a lawyer — you lied — or prove you did not. 🙂 cheers


your favorite  Hlavac

On the Absurdity of It All …

An open essay for so many it’s hard to count them all — I shall need the fingers of a crowd for sure … like the many who applaud my piano music … anyway …

My dear Walquidia — Manny — Clifton – Yvette at Mt Sinai – HASA, HRA – who knows who else all? – Anyone in Arizona for sure — those evil people –egad. To everyone else in this vast system so diligently trying to assist me — which all of whom you are free to share this email – which is an essay by an erudite fellow at the same level as you in life. I hide nothing, and what you might learn about me is beyond your current understanding. I have been a public person for nigh on 45 years. I boldly speak out where few others dare to go. I do greatly appreciate your efforts. I am indeed confused about this all. Not in the sense I don’t understand it – nor addled or befuddled – oh no – quite the contrary – I see it all so clearly as a Kafkaesque farce! You all are so charmingly convoluted as to confound any rational fellow.

We all live last I knew in a society where the “seven bad words you can’t say on TV” of George Carlin fame are uttered ceaselessly in every corner of the culture from gutter punk to NBA stars, to comedians and radio hosts, to Netflix shows and from the mouths of presidential contenders, from people in your very halls to screeching out car windows in Harlem where I live now. Do you know this comedy routine? Do you know these 7 very bad words? Short Anglo-Saxon 4 letter words – but 2 or three a syllable or two more. And quite a few other words – all uttered with wild abandon. Are you unaware of these words? Are you so delicate that even Queen Victoria might have said “Mein Gott! Ist du verklempt und verrucht?” – The gal didn’t really speak English. Are the 7 bad words so offensive to you that your delicate souls might chastise me for uttering one of them in jocular discussion with a fellow I enjoy every much? Even if he did dye his hair “Trump Orange” to what? “offend me”? Because our crass president is a dolt? I even asked him – in a flirtatious way – “are you mad?” – and if this sort of camaraderie between a member of the club – not a client – a member – is a problem – then the world gone mad.

I want to be clear – Clifton is a wondrous fellow – he seems to be grasping who and what I am. I enjoy every moment of my time with him – and with all of you really, mostly (more about that below.) But if the mere utterance on one of the 7 bad words about some confounded aspect of NYC and the vaunted “System” I am stuck in – is troubling to the fellow, well, then – perhaps something should change. Yes? It’s not going to be me. Find a more stout and resolute fellow to handle my “case.”

I mean – I don’t want to bother anyone. But to be chastised about the mere use of a word or two that permeate the public culture of this nation is just – absurd. It’s a bother? Really? Well, I apologize for my many shortcomings. Well, still, I’m not sure WTF to say. Have any of you seen facebook? The many memes there with the F word and so many others? Have you not seen the articles in many a publication using these words? What then are you reading? This concerns me – your lack of knowledge about modern America. Are you all that unaware of modern Rap Music – Rap Crap as I call it? Are you all so sensitive to a mere word of a 1000 years provenance?

You are scared of a word that was used by Northern Republican Civil War soldiers in letters back to their wives while they were ready to die to free the Democrat’s Slaves? – Really? You can’t be serious! No – just no. And I am sure you are all Democrats, oh yes. Oh, don’t fear – Faboo – Facebook as I so endearingly call it – has pronounced me an anti-gay Christian Fundamentalist. Really! It’s amazing. I can’t even reference a Queer Studies Program at a modern university without a warning or ban. Most amazing indeed. That I fought the word “queer” for all my life seems to just be irrelevant to you. That’s amazing too. But I am not for Republicans – they don’t like gay men, seen? I have argued rather nationally with them. I am libertarian – for Liberty 🙂 oh yes.

I want you to know that Facebook – the premier social network on earth – bans me from using the word “Queer” – I can’t even reference Queer Studies programs at Harvard – where various professors hold courses on the use of the F-word – so delicate you all apparently are – I dare not use it in this email. Eh, maybe I will! But I will point out to you that in my life I experienced NINE bar raids – where police lined me up and checked my pockets while waving their nightsticks into my face while calling me far worse than “fucking queer” – and this was legal! And many were African and Hispanic American- trashing a good Czech fellow. Amazing, eh? And the NINE times I was fired from jobs with an invective you would blanch at … using so many short 4 letter Anglo-Saxon words that one wonders where such damsel women could know them from. And this now today in our culture in this nation – bothers you? Really? Color me – just flummoxed. I think it’s near taupe or mauve in tone.

You can’t conceivably be serious. Apparently yet, so you are. Good enough. I apologize to the fellow who has heard the word countless times in his life – without uttering a word of complaint – and now this time – is once too much. I am sure NEVER has he uttered the word – so Godly Perfect is the fellow – I bow at such abstinence. None of you I am sure – have ever uttered the word – so pure and pristine and perfect are you all. Puritans upon my case. Well, that’s going to be an issue – I am not fond of Puritans.

Is me being a “White Czech Caucasian Male” an issue to him? I must ask! After all – in our times of ethnic purity and consolation and consoling – I should know. I’m not “white” – I am a tawny yellow pinkish reddish fellow – I am also not “Caucasian” because no European “white” people come from there. The steppes of Central Asia? Sure. No one quite knows where Czechs came from – I am 100% Czech – for a provable 600 years. (well, except that one French guy Pierre Toutcee, a probable deserter from Napoleon in 1815, but, that’s deep family history.) Before that? Eh, who knows – but not the Caucasian Mountains which are along the border between Iran, Georgia, Ossetia, Chechnya and other such lands – where no Czechs ever were. I am rather miffed at this asking Americans about their ethnic heritage gives everyone a geographical place name – and we white guys are white – what? This is maddening. To whom do I lodge my complaints about the bigotry?

I also seem to keep getting identified with people of no relation, like oh say, transgendered. But to be clear – I have no troubles with F-word using fine fellows with orange hair gasp cultural appropriation … complaining about Czech fellows. As my mother said decades ago to my legal guardian, a Black Woman from Guyana … “Just you remember – the NAACP stands for the National Association of Czech People” – and I can play the ethnic game well – trust me. And I, like all Americans, you all included – utter the F word – DO NOT tell me you don’t – don’t you dare. It would be lying.
Sorry, but well, I am who I am …. I shall now endeavor to explain me. A fellow who can explain me better is Carl. You know how to reach him. He knows me like you can’t – and even like he doesn’t know the extent – but more than enough. He will explain “did I ever tell you about the male manikin Hlavac put up on the wall in bikini underpants and endowed?” – Y’all got no clue. But – for you to help me – to serve me better – to move me to a better place – now back in NYC after 30 years away in an astonishing life of wonder. I am trying to help you help me – for I am not anything like you ever encountered before. I know it. But you must realize this too. I don’t want to be mothered, or tended, nor taken care of. I just want a house of my own. Where I can shut the door and finally be in peace. Separated from the very active and involved life I have led. A life trashed in Arizona by earnest social service workers who lied about me – to the point of police at my door – and me writing a book about it – “Kafka Lives.”

I have waltzed into your life. And you must wonder “why?” And your instinct — is to wonder what is wrong with me? Your every question is about drugs and booze and harm and jail and the destruction of lives. Yes, I am well aware of this dimension of our bizarre nation – and bureaucrats galore. It’s an unholy fixation as far as I am concerned. But there’s little I am going to do about it. Though I could – I am quite a fellow of action. But I am tired. I was told I would die over and over again. I still trundle along. And I find myself in this situation at the behest of family and friends who told me – “New York City is where you ought to be.”

Great – so 3 months ago I came back to the city in which I was born and lived and went to college and worked as a vastly skilled Journeyman Union Printer from the subbasements to the 105th floor of WTC Tower II where my Jewish FDNY brother-in-law was last seen on the 31st floor going up – he’s in every documentary – you know him.

Still – you all are obsessed with negatives, and so blithely tell me “we have to ask … “ and I am getting tired of telling you “stop this!” So I suggest – you stop asking – and I will stop getting ornery. I find it insulting and demeaning. I am told I should not have to put up with such things. Well, there you are doing it yourselves to me.

For I am not part of any of that.

Who I am is to put it as politely as I can, but yes, as bluntly as I am prone to do — one of the most extraordinary men you could ever encounter in your lives. And my dear Lady Walquidia — I want you to spread this message. I am someone to be reckoned with – not because I am full of “it” – but because I did too much good as to amaze anyone. I can prove my life. Someone will write a biography or two of me yet!

To start off with — my name — Jim Hlaváč is a Czech sentence “jim hlaváč” — yep, right out of the dictionary. Two Czech words — of the language I speak well, because I am the 2nd born grandson in America — from 4 Czech immigrant grandparents who barely spoke English. As my grandpa said to Boy Scout Troop 52 in Baldwin Long Island – after I was beginning to be bullied and I said to him “to je hrozny” – it’s terrible – he stood up and said “you vill nut vuck vit mein grandzohn” in a thick Czech accent you can’t know … for I was so OUT I was never “in” any damn closet. I am history. I am a magical person. He and my grandma said “Naše dívni“ – “Our different one.” All my vast family has known I was gay since I was oh, 13, 14. I didn’t say “I’m a homosexual” – oh no – I said “oh my lordy, is that guy cute!” My grandma then told the story of Jiři, a young fellow she knew as a girl – and he had hung himself – for he was dívni – and she said “no one will do this do my Jimmy” – you may not call me that, you ain’t my grandma. In the most magical gay bar on earth, the Ninth Circle – the coat check gal Millie Riesova – a refugee from the Prague Spring – we spoke in Czech – and all were sore amazed – when they asked her “Do you understand him?”

“Ja,” she said “he zpeaks Czech verry vell” – And I was added to the VIP list of every club in Manhattan – before you were born – as “Special Guest of Millie of the Ninth Circle.”

Those little marks on top of the last two letters — are strange, yes? well, á — maybe not so much. But it is not at all like the Spanish one — nope.

In Czech is makes the vowel longer – so — it’s HLA-vaa — that’s a head — a Hlavá is your head.

The “áč” is for “big” — like “…ito” and “…ie” is in Spanish and English for small — Czech has a “big” – and smalls like few can grasp — many smalls — tinier and tinier – ček, ič, ičky, ičku, ičkičku … and more – every tinier – čekičkyčku … that makes the Spanish “…ito” seem so big. Spanish and English don’t have a “big” suffix.

So – Hlaváč is a “big head” – yep! The name was mostly given out in the 1400s to the village printer family. I come from 6 known and 7 or 8 probable generations of Czech Printers. My father, his father, his father – on and on – all printers – I started leaning the family trade when I was 10 years old.

Big head — boss, stubborn, big cheese, full of himself — anywhere in English “big head” might be used in any way — that’s Hlaváč. yep

and I am told in writing by the many fine and well meaning organizations I have had to acquaint myself with as I rejoin NYC — My ethnicity is very important. As it is to me. As I have joked endlessly — my Czechosity is amazing.

My ethnicity is to be respected — and given honor — and my name is to be pronounced as I wish.

Why — mužu mit přeložitniki jako ja chci == I can have translators as I want … I will not put that burden upon your limited resources. I am almost sure you’d have to hire me as your Czech translator for me to translate my Czech. We are very rare, I’m sure.

I will now say — I don’t intend to inflict upon you all the correct pronunciation of Hlaváč as my own cousins in the former communist Czech lands can say with quite some ease. HLA is simply beyond your ability. However, for a good fee, my freelancing self would be glad to give Hlessons ….

But — if pushed — I will so demand — and strike up a complaint about Ethnic Heritage Discrimination.

My first name – Jim — I like it. Use it. Spread the word. I could have been named Vaclav, Ladislav, Brodumil, Vratislav, Bohumil, Josef, Vladislav, Zdenek, Ctibor — and any of another dozen or two common Czech boy’s names

my parents Kamila and Karel — opted for something more American at the height of the Cold War.

On the very day I was born – before I was “James” – the hospital in which I was born – where my mom got her training as a nurse — and worked — and got a free baby birth — their paperwork — spells my Hlast name wrong.

I have had much merry with this reality — all my life.

So – on to “jim.” — this word — what does it mean in Czech? It means “I eat.” – yep. “Jist” the verb “to eat” — said like “yeast” in English.

“jim” “jiš” “ji” “jite” “jeji” and “jime” — I eat, you eat (singular) he, she, it eats, you eat (plural/polite) they eat and we eat.

just like in Spanish — or any European or African language — all languages are conjugated as such — only English stands out alone among 6,000 languages and dialects on earth — except Louisiana Cajun, which uses the English system of “Frankly, we don’t give a damn”

and so — my dear lady and all – my name — literally means “I eat big head.”

And I am a cranky old gay bastard — and I make no bones about it.

I was the Temporary Honorary Consul of the Czech and Slovak Republics to Louisiana in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina —

both of the ambassadors – the mayor of Prague — and all the news agencies of the 2 lands — joked with me about my name — in Czech and English — and the two very different connotations they denote.

I am a world renowned Czech and Slovak scholar — for I wrote a seminal historical work — “A Hidden Impact: the Czechs and Slovaks of Louisiana from the 1720s to today”

I am also the creator of the Louisiana Crawfish Farmers, Alligator Farmers, Plantation Homes, African-American Museum associations. I also created the Cajun and Creole food industries. And the Louisiana Seafood Promotion and Marketing Board. The first statewide music directory …

and an Indigenous People’s Casino in Marksville — where I am a honorary member of the Tunica-Biloxi People — and ran their Pow Wow Website for 15 years.

and so — I really do NOT like endless questions about imagined drugs, abuse, prison, homelessness, alcoholism, nor gender confusion — and the vast horde of negatives which seem to permeate the modern — what? health care system? — Agencies? — the nurses — doctors – hospitals – it’s endless. Why are you all so obsessed with negatives I do not know.

But if I can choose my pronouns — and gender …

I can choose which questions might be asked of me …

I do not wish at this point in my amazing life to press the issue …

It’s really not my business – except to say – clearly — stop it — no one had better ask me these questions again.

if I am allowed to choose which pronouns I like – and which gender — I surely can like to not be asked such absurd questions.

Without any modesty — and with plenty of proof — I will tell you and all — I am one of the most gifted and accomplished old gay bastards you could ever have met.

My Hlast Name is amazingly weird — and so easy to find on Amazon for my 18 books so far — more to come ….

at youtube for the 285 videos of my music I created — and the life and arts of my life as the pictures set to them will show …

My 700 paintings are not quite that known — nor are my repeated appearances in the press of the Czech lands and Louisiana – and the USA on TV, Radio, Press, Blogs etc —

my position in Phoenix and New Orleans and Baton Rouge and Mazatlan and Prague – will stun you …

my creation of Modern Louisiana — is a story beyond which anything I can say here will tell you — or for you to believe.

And I am a groundbreaking Old Gay Bastard — who took on the Christian Ring Wing Tea Party Republican blogosphere — in ways amply proven but stunning to behold – and I was the Ring Leader of an unauthorized and attempted to be prohibited public protest on July 4th, 1986 – when me and a few of my closest 10,000 gay male friends wandered into the frolic of the 100th anniversary of Slečna Svoboda – Miss Liberty – out there in the harbor – and were met by water cannons and a line of police horses with fellows in riot gear that was amazing. Made the NY Post! “Queers Invade Lower Manhattan”

And in later years, as I told these resolutely anti-gay — and very anti “L(g)BTISAQPGNC consortium” whackos – the CRWTPR “community” websites – “gay is good” – and got published. I am the ONLY such man in this nation who has done this. One reason I do not take kindly to be asking if I have been in jail. I have been to the Mountain Top!

Like Frank Kameny said all those years ago. “Gay is good” … I have followed in his footsteps ….

Mr. Kameny – an American Rights for Gay Men pioneer — is of Czech heritage. His name means “stones” — oh yes. Metaphors galore there too …

I was defended on the National Stage by a well known anti-gay crusader – “Listen to Mr. Hlavac, he is rational on this.” It was the only time that this website, American Thinker, ever defended a contributor on the day his article on an astonishingly complex and contentious matter was published – I am someone. Nationally. But – well, a bit broke – I spent all my money after so many doctors told me I would die.

And all I want now – is an apartment – in the city where this all started – where I helped set up the job you hold today. You are employed – all of you – because of what I did back then – there. Think about that. You live in a house – paid for by my effort. Sweet, eh?

And when I was 20 years old — I met Harvey Milk. I was drinking buddies with Rock Hudson. I was friends with the Village People in the Village. I know several Stonewall Veterans.

Oh, my dear lady — there is so much more. So much. I smuggled illegal Rock’n’Roll into Communist Czechoslovakia in the 1970s … I must have an FBI/NSA/CIA file so thick it would astonish even me.

My letter to Jimmy Carter about Gay Men in 1978 — is in his archives. I would vouchsafe to say — I am the only cranky 20 year old to ever get a letter from the White House in those times about the issue of my existence. Before “it” – before GRID – before HIV and AIDS – before the plague – I wrote to the president of these United States – and said “it’s time to take care of gay men in this nation” and he had his senior adviser respond to me. I am history. I was well before all of it. And now – I am at the end of it. And I expect respect – and quite some leeway in whatever you think you are all going to do for a guy like me – you can’t comprehend.

And my fellows – who I am prone to call “a few of my favorite ninnies” – and 1000s of times I referred to as “Sissy Smoochers” across the vast internet – oh, the term is out there – oh yes … have always marveled at my gung ho damn the torpedoes attitude about it all. I am the ONLY gay guy to extol the virtues of gay men to never have his posts deleted from the Family Research Council and American Family Values websites – I am that decent and rational. To hear today from anyone at the GMHC that I helped set up – decades ago – that I am less than decent and rational – is obnoxious.

And so — yes — I am cranky. I admit it. And I have my reasons. None of which are related to anything you could ever imagine.

There’s so much more I hesitate to even mention my selling 1.2 million poinsettias across the Deep South in 1998 🙂

And now your mission is to assist me in getting an apartment – so I might find solace – instead of being hounded by absurdity. Such as none of you pure of heart innocent folks ever use the F-word in common conversation. Don’t make me laugh my tuchus off. Thank you very much.

An Open Letter to “God Loves, We Deliver”

My dear people — I returned to NYC 3 months ago — I am a native — born in Brooklyn — grew up here – -got the accent, birth certificate and attitude to prove it. In 1990 I moved to Louisiana — and made something of it — you can’t believe. And Phoenix, and Mazatlan Mexico. So, I get back to NYC — I am told by both GMHC (an agency I helped create) and Mt Sinai — that my application to you was submitted 3 times. Today — after 3 months – I haven’t seen a calorie from you. I was told that you tried to contact me — no — you did not. Or I would have gotten that phone call or email — or even perhaps a smoke signal. I am at the point of bitter sarcasm — I assure you. Anyway — keep your food. I am leaving NYC on the morning of November 10th — to Phoenix to take care of my art — and to Mazatlan to set up my life from there in Louisiana — all because crazed social service agents in Arizona lied about me — and chased me out of my home. Eh, don’t worry about me folks – I’m in good hands – my own.

but — you should know something about me and your organization —

Buddy Noro was my bar buddy! Dinner and yes, meetings at a table in the Ninth Circle — “Joe is sick — what do we do?” _ “Ed is dying — what do we do?” — “Greg can’t pay his rent, what do we do? — and then we did it! — I fed him and others at those tabled there, back then, ideas! I am an ideas man! This is the organization he created — and I was there — working with him — oh, this article is years into it already — I’m not sure we even bothered with a name in the beginning -we were too busy cooking and cleaning and packing meals to go and working on laundry, housekeeping, bills — right down to bathing fellows too weak to even get out of bed —

— And this guy — was my friend! I mean — stand around and talk about hottie guy friends — like — drink and joke until 2 AM — even 4 AM — go out to dinner (well, breakfast) after the bars closed friend — I was there! I did this! — Part of it! Enough — I think — or maybe not enough —

Since it is obvious that your organization in 3 months can’t deliver a damn calorie to me — and that if only I apply today — you might be able to process my application — which has I’ve been told been submitted 3 times already! I would rather you keep your food — for someone with a bit more patience than I.

What the hell does it take?

Oh geez – then just the other day someone sent police to take me away! Utterly amazing — “oh you should just forget that — ” absurd —

Anyway — Buddy Noro was my friend — and I heard that sometime in the 1990s he died of AIDS too —

So he can’t corroborate my story — 🙂 “Yeah, Jim and me — hi …”

I am an official volunteer pianist at GMHC — which seems unable to do a thing for me — an old man with AIDS — for 40 years — now finally starting to hit me — after a life of energy and health — and well, go listen to my music at my youtube channel — Jim Hlavac

and enjoy your jobs – which I helped create —

3 months — nothing — stunning — so disappointing. I have better fish to fry elsewhere —

cheers, your favorite Hlavac

An Open Letter to the GMHC NYC

Mr Dear He Him His Mr Kelsey Louie …

One of your people had me hauled off by police to the hospital today, November 4th. – in the middle of the afternoon while I am trying to get my life back on track after social service agencies such as yourselves in Arizona wrecked my life. Would you like to read about it? I suggest you do. I wrote it up in a book “Kafka Lives” – you can find it on Amazon under my name Jim Hlavac – which none of your people deign to call me Jim as I request – and none seem able to pronounce my simple 2 syllable last name. Go ahead Mr. Hlouie – where’s your silent H? Eh? – I joke about it – I know it is weird. Ale Hloupy Hlodavac – but stupid rats – in your system – want to argue with me about it! My own Hlast name! Egad sir! And then – today – as I was calmly contemplating my life – one of your people tried to get me into a psyche ward – to be incarcerated against my will. I am rather miffed. I am a fine fellow. I am not in the least a threat to me or or to anyone else. I am a wonder. I am well beyond your ability to comprehend – because you don’t know me. But well, I am someone. Let me tell you just a bit ….

40 years ago I was bar buddies with Larry Kramer – your founder I believe. And I sat at the table where this, your job, was all created – in the Greatest Gay Bar ever to exist. Where I was friends with the Village People in the Village – and drinking buddies with Rock Hudson – and more – so much more – you can’t imagine sir – nope. That bar was the Ninth Circle on West 10th Street in NYC. I am still friends with Tree – the famous Stonewall Veteran who is still the bartender at Stonewall on Christopher Street. He calls me “Czech.” I saw him on Friday – it was like I had never left. I saw Danny too, he’s the bartender at Julius. A bar on West 10th Street where I’ve been going since I was 17 years old. I was reliving old times. And I am from a time, long ago, of bar raids, and scorn – and death.

And today – your organization had me hauled by police to a hospital trying to incarcerate me into a mental ward. That sir – is an evil – I can’t comprehend. It truly is beyond my wondrous mind to contemplate such evil – I expect an apology.

Because in that bar, the Ninth Circle, where we gay men solved gay men problems, without a damn form, without phones – just us – doing what we could – and I was there – back then – before your damn organization was created – with my help – there was a coat check gal during the winters named Millie Riesova – a refugee from the Prague Spring of 1968 – she was my friend. The year was 1976 when I first stepped into that bar as a 17 year old. And I spoke to Millie in Czech – the language I speak from childhood, with four Czech immigrant grandparents. Mluvim to dobry – I speak it well. And the Ninth Circle’s staff, patrons, owner – were sore amazed. They asked Millie – “Do you really understand him?” And she said – in her very heavy accented English “Ja, I oonderstand him verry verry vell” – and when I was being bullied as a very out and open gay teen on Long Island my Czech born grandpa Josef Javurek said to Troop 52 in Baldwin out there, in his very heavy Czech accent – “You vill nut vuck vit mein grandzohn.” And the Ninth Circle added me to the VIP list of every club and bar in NYC as “special friend of Millie of the Ninth Circle.” Oh, it was amazing times. There’s so much more, you can’t imagine. I am history itself.

When there were bar raids I would say in Czech to Millie – “to je jako stare komunismus” – it’s like old communism. “Yeah,” she said. I doubt you ever experienced a bar raid. I had one just today. Cops – at my door – to haul me away – because of some nitwit in your organization today. Egad, sir. To je jako stare komunismus dlouhy sparky – I will speak to you in Czech all I wish.

I danced with, and smooched – John Travolta. I was friends with Blondie and Sharona. I taught Lauren Bacall how to use a word processor. I was someone – back then – as a teenager. And today? I am treated with such indignity by GMHC I can’t fathom. So – I will appeal to you. What you are about to read more of – is the astonishing story of my life – and why I am here again in NYC at an SRO at a YMCA at 180 West 135th Street in Harlem, (Village People, you see,) – awaiting anything rational to happen.

I was good friends with Buddy Noro who created “God Loves, We Deliver” – I cooked big pots of spaghetti and sauce to be ready to be picked up and delivered to men with “IT!” – it didn’t have a name. It wasn’t GRID – it wasn’t AIDS or HIV – it – was “IT!” Over 100 friends of mine simply up and died. And I was told back then in 1981 – “you have it, you’re going to die soon.” Yeah, well, they were very wrong. I am still here. And miffed beyond belief. And I will lay this out for you – as briefly as my extraordinary life will allow. It is not simple, nope.

In 1978 when I was 20 years old I flew one way to San Francisco – because my 2 brothers joined the Air Force, and there was some slight pressure from my vast family “oh, it would be great to have 3 sons in the Air Force,” I was so out that I wrote a paper for Mr. Ford’s 9th Grade history class about “oppressed minorities” that were coming to the fore in 1973 – about gay guys. He mumbled as he handed it back “well, I never, I never …” Yeah, I bet he didn’t. I got excused from gym because I told the gym department head “I get too excited in the locker room” and he said “oh, Oh, OH!” and allowed me to skip it all – I mean, really now. Imagine. They would not sell me tickets to the prom. “You’ll bring a guy, we know it.” It was the 1970s. And I was OUT! I was never in a closet. I did never did say with some shame “I’m a homosexual.” I said “Egad, he’s adorable!”

In 1978 I wrote to President Jimmy Carter about gay guys – and he had his senior adviser; “Midge Costanza;” reply to me. I am the ONLY 20 year old fellow to ever get such a letter, long before you were even born. I am in the Carter Presidential Library. And the Washington State Archives too, at the same time, and elsewhere – Oh I was quite some cranky young gay fellow, I assure you.

And out there in San Francisco I met Harvey Milk – briefly, but I met him. Months later he was shot. My mother said to me “I am so very worried you’ll get shot, you are so very open.” I survived to this day. You can read about this – in my book “Improbable Traveler” on Amazon.

Then I returned to NYC and got degrees in Politics and Economics from NYU – and I was a printer. In fact sir, I am a vastly skilled Journeyman Union Printer from 6 generations of Czech Hlavac printers from a tiny village named “Vlkos u Kyjov” – Wolf Town at Kyjov – we Hlavac are printers. Which brings me to my name. It’s odd. I admit it. I have fun. It is pronounced in English “Lah-vick” – do not make me insist that it be pronounced in Czech – HLA-vatch. Do not make me insist on a Czech translator – so I might get what I seek – as I hear is my right to do so. My English is so fine, I have won awards for it, and I am published about it. But, Czech – if this nonsense keeps up. Trust me.

So – as a printer in NYC I went to NYU – and in 1984 a Julliard graduate church organist friend moved to Lake Charles Louisiana. For 2 years he begged me to visit him. I said “You are nuts, I’m from NYC!” And then between my last class at NYU and the graduation ceremony I went for a birthday trip. And I fell in love with that place. And then – oh sir – what I did in Louisiana. Do you like Cajun or Creole foods? I created that industry. Louisiana music? I created the first statewide music directory. I got every one of some 200 plantation homes to honor those of African Heritage who built and maintained them. I helped create a Native People’s casino – and ran their Pow Wow website for 15 years. There’s so much more. That, you may read at my book “Catalyst” – also on Amazon. I was the Temporary Honorary Consul of the Czech and Slovak Republics to Louisiana in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. My book “A Hidden Impact: the Czechs and Slovaks of Louisiana from the 1720s to today” is groundbreaking history of international renown. I dealt with every governor personally from David Treen in 1986 to Kathleen Blanco in 2006. I was buddies with Hunt Downer, Speaker of the House of Representatives of that state. I was friends with sheriffs, and district attorneys, and politicians and civic leaders. People wrote articles about me there. I am someone there, indeed.

Starting in 2002 I began to manage the Phoenix Arizona International Youth Hostel in the winters.

Beginning in 2006 I began to go to Mazatlan Mexico, where I am a well beloved figure in the Centro Historico.

In 2014 I moved to Phoenix to seek to settle down, finally, after a vast varied life of travel. I simply wanted to stop – and get to my music, and write up my memoirs of one of the most astonishing lives of any man you every encountered in your life. I had comedy radio show – just me, live, improv – comedy – 2 hours a night, 5 nights a week. In 1998 I sold 1.2 million poinsettias from Houston to Pensacola. More? I got more sir – so much more – it blows my own mind.

And – I am a piano player and composer. I have 285 videos of the music I create at youtube. Go, enjoy – as you think of all this. I am now a volunteer piano player at the GMHC – what a fine Steinway you have there in your lunch room where I enjoy playing for my fellows – to good applause. You should come listen to me, meet me – and rectify this nonsense. I will be there on Tuesday and Wednesday I’m sure – for a fine repast and jolly good music. See, I use words like “repast” and actually expect people to know such words. You will be amazed at my public take on the language.

In Phoenix I obtained an apartment – in a city of Phoenix affordable living complex. And the social service agencies lied about me. They committed fraud. I was the official piano player at Phoenix’s largest hospital – and these idiots proclaimed me delusional. They got me evicted from my home. They caused me to lose everything I owned. Including my dear cat, Schroder. I had to run away. Simply to escape their nefarious plan to incarcerate me for their sick evil demented glee. They declared me so many mental disorders it’s astonishing – and I never met them. Never had a reason to ever contact any of these people I never met nor even heard of. My book “Kafka Lives” lays out this fraud and malpractice, also on Amazon (I got 18 books up there.)

So – I ran away. Along the way – I broke my wrist in Joplin Missouri – a city I had never been in – simply wanted a night’s lodging – and wasps attacked me in my room within 5 minutes. I now have legal and medical issues in Joplin, and Peoria Illinois where surgery was done. I wound up in Lacon Illinois – where a crazed woman thought she would take over my life. And so – I ran away – again – to Mazatlan – where for 13 years for 3 to 5 months a year – I am a beloved character in the city.

So – we come to January 2019. And my health finally began to fail. In speaking to friends and family – they said “come back to NYC and we’ll help you.” So I did. I got here on July 21st. I collapsed on the plane flying into JFK. They took me off by EMS to Jamaica Hospital. Then Esteban’s – the printing company at 132 West 36th Street with whom I have had a 40 year relationship (I used to babysit the president) stepped in – and said “We will help.”

And Carl Bednarz, a man like unto my brother – stepped in – as best he could – to get me to the GMHC. You can reach him at 917-816-1498 – text is better – he’s a busy guy – running a major printing company – where when I walk in – everyone goes “hlavac!” For they love me there.

So – I am back now 3 months in NYC. I cannot get anyone at GMHC or anywhere in this confounded system to call me “Jim” (though I can pick my pronouns as you do) – nor pronounce my last name correctly. Amazing Stunning Aggravating.

And now I am at the YMCA without a kitchen, and a dirty bathroom down the hall – as your people think I am a homeless idiot who can’t run his life. They all have refused to listen to a word I say about the wonder of it all – and insist with rudeness of asking me endless questions about drugs, booze, prison, homelessness and worse. Every time I bring up the wonder of my life – I am told – “not important, let’s get back to our questions.” I find these question to be insulting and demeaning. I created Modern Louisiana. I am a brilliant composer. I am – a nationally known proverbial Radical Militant Homosexual AIDS Activist. I have been defended on the national stage by a virulent anti-gay man named Robert Oscar Lopez at a major right wing, Tea Party, Christian, conservative website as “Listen to Jim Hlavac, he’s rational on gay men.” Where else I might be nationally known on the Goodness of Gay Men – well, there’s too much to recount here – you’re not ready, trust me. But I am.

I am also internationally known for my contention that gayness in men is on the Autism Asperger scale which the world’s foremost researcher into the Spectrum agreed with. I am someone.

One more question about disaster or problems in my life – which your social service agents are obsessed with – I dare say sir – I will get ornery.

Now, so, I came back 3 months ago to NYC after 30 years away. I was told if I registered as “homeless” I would get an apartment that would be only 1/3 of my social security disability. And now today I am being told – I should stay at the YMCA for months and months more. This – sir – is insanity.

I helped create your organization – and God Loves, We Deliver. Which has yet to provide a meal to me whatsoever. 3 months. What does it take?

I do not ask any special favors – but just rational decency towards the marvel that I am. I expect my name to be pronounced correctly. I expect no more questions about drugs, booze, prison, homelessness, or other negatives. I expect – an apartment I was promised. Not a list of other agencies who will provide another list of other agencies still again. This – this cannot be this hard. We did this – without phones – without anything – we did it – I did it – we took care of dying men, without a form, without any modern communication devices. We did it by sitting in the Ninth Circle and asking around “Joe is sick – who can help him?” And I or others, someone, got up and did something. Today? You have endless forms and no action. And I am treated like trash today.

I am ready to just give up – and move back to Mazatlan to live out my years in peace without a bunch of helpful hannahs hounding me for whatever the hell they think I am.

I am flummoxed and not happy – nor am I shy.

Here – I organized a major protest in 1986 – it made the news.


So – I ask – suggest – plead – get me an apartment with a kitchen and my own bathroom – where I can get the pills I need to live – and cook my favorite foods – without being mollycoddled by people who think I am hopeless. This – this cannot be that hard as it appears to be so far.

I suggest you google me – there is no end to the good and wonder of my life. You will be quite amazed. You will sit back in stunned wonder. You will even be amazed at the 16 string quartets I composed in 3 months here in NYC as I await your dithering ministrations. They are on my youtube channel, which the clods in Arizona told me doesn’t exist. Which you people at GMHC can’t fathom. I suggest you all sit down still and listen to them. But, well, I am leaving for Mazatlan within days, and there I will await any rational thing by your system, which should result in an apartment, so I can get health care in peace. But I will not stay in a dump as you people think you will manage my life.

Nor tolerate baseless accusations against my being that required me to be hauled out of my house by police at your organization’s behest – today – November 4th, 2019. I am miffed beyond belief. But quite in my own good hands. On the 10th I fly to Phoenix. By the 13th after some business there, I shall be on the way to Mazatlan where I am awaited with welcome arms. My mom’s birthday is November 13th. She was a nurse for 45 years. In the hospital where she got her training, and gave birth to me – on the very paperwork on the day I was born – before I was “James” – they spelled my Hlast name wrong. I really am not to be trifled with. Thanks – And as I sign most of my communications –

cheers – your favorite Hlavac

PS “jim hlavac” is a Czech sentence – yep – right out of the dictionary. It means “I eat big head” – yep. Much to my mom’s mortification. And my middle name is “Dick” 🙂 – Dobry? Good? Diki – Thanks.


The USA Against the World’s Cretins

from a facebook thread — I just post the whole damn thing —

Jim Hlavac just guessing here, but 2 US carrier groups worth of air and sea power could destroy the entire Iranian navy and air force in about 24 hours 🙂 just guessing — might be 48 hours


  • Port of BANDAR IMAM KHOMEINI (IR BIK) details - Departures, Expected Arrivals and Port Calls | AIS Marine Traffic
    Port of BANDAR IMAM KHOMEINI (IR BIK) details – Departures,…

    Port of BANDAR IMAM KHOMEINI (IR BIK) details – Departures, Expected Arrivals and Port Calls | AIS Marine Traffic

  • Jim Hlavac a rain of about 100 cruise missiles across Iran would take out pretty much their entire command and control infrastructure – feel free to use 200! — I’m sure we got them — and then what?
    what would be left ?

    see – pinprick strikes will not work — but a Pattonesque “kill the other fellows” would be quite awesome 🙂 hate to do it — I really do — but well – if that’s what’s required? go for it

  • Jim Hlavac same with North Korea — 2 or 3 US carrier groups on either side of the peninsula and there might not be much left of NK’s vaunted “military might” with in a few early hours of the beginning — and what can be kept incoming would mop up the rest – if the will is there – what might hit them would boggle their minds before their brains were schmered on broken walls
  • Jim Hlavac what’s stunning is first people complain the US has so much firepower to top all the world’s military’s combined — and then fret we won’t be able to simply remove them from consideration — China’s navy? eek! — the US Coast Guard is probably bigger (albeit without a heavy cruiser or air craft carrier) but we got other assets!

    Every bomber from Barksdale in Louisiana — those places in Missouri, Ohio, the Dakotas — a fleet of 100s of bombers — that Doolittle would have slobbered at! — a rain of hell!

    Russia too! – they are pipsqueaks – that’s the complaint in the USA! — $700 billion on military — and the rest of the world like boy scouts against the Mafia

    I really hate to be brutal – but well – there we are – and there they are 🙂 oh well — enjoy

  • Jim Hlavac if push came to shove — a few US submarines lurking before Murmansk might reduce their port and military assets to rubble and melted steel before they woke up for breakfast — 🙂

    consult “Jane’s Fighting Ships” for more details — who knows — our Pentagon lies about about our capabilities I’m sure 🙂 oosh

  • Jim Hlavac Italy had an impressive navy in WWII! — oh, the fret of the Mediterrean — and we simply in one afternoon sunk the whole damn thing in Tarranto’s harbor – where it sits today – unless we had to clear a bit for us to use for our fleet in that lake —


  • United States Sixth Fleet - Wikipedia
    United States Sixth Fleet – Wikipedia

    United States Sixth Fleet – Wikipedia

  • Jim Hlavac I am no expert — feel free to correct or somehow contest and certainly add to my comments – -but to argue with the US military is fruitless — if we want in – we will get in- if we want to destroy – we will destroy — I’m not sure of all the particulars — but I sure know the world combined is no match against us —

    If there’s a will – that’s the only subjective thing in the way

  • Jim Hlavac in WWII we sank the entire French Fleet in Marsailles and other ports in the South of France — took the US and the UK about 24 hours – not a ship left floating – and so the Nazis never got to use it 🙂
  • Jim Hlavac “Can we fight a two front war?” so dearly questionable allegedly — egad — if we really wanted to — we could simultaneously take out Russia’s, China’s, Iran’s and North Korea’s combined navy and air forces within hours with a coordinated full scale no holes barred assault — and – then! – because all four depend on our food imports to eat — go “eh, folks, let’s discuss this!” —

    But! – again – we would need a will – and a directive

  • Jim Hlavac I think sometimes about what would happen if the USA released every cruise missile we had, while firing every gun from every ship we have incessantly for hour after hour, and then bombs bursting from air with lordy knows what, and bunker buster dropping deep inside the earth, and then bombs dropped from every plane we could push into the air — while raining machine gun fire at the fleeing hordes —

    And we’d never have to use a soldier on the ground near the destruction —

    if you think about it – it’s quite awesome what we might wreck upon the world’s militaries giving us grief 🙂 few think about this — we can send jets around the globe in 15 hours or so — and replenish bombs to drop the 2nd load while the 10th and 20th wave of bombers just keeps dropping stuff

    I don’t recommend it! – just like to point out the reality

    We have supply ships filled with missiles, weapons, bombs – they can sail in peace up to the firing platforms and replenish – and the onslaught would come for weeks — 🙂 amazing, yes? Enjoy

    Peace on earth and good will to all men — but — eh 🙂 hahaha


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