The Malignancy of COPE, Tucson

COPE Tucson Report

COPE is a social service organization headquartered at 82 South Stone Avenue, Tucson, Arizona. It was SAAF in that city which sent me to a Michael Castaneda at COPE at101 South Stone Avenue – he was supposedly the gay male counselor I sought to discuss my emotions about having survived AIDS and burying a 100 friends – instead he was a straight male drug rehab counselor. SAAF apparently imagined me a meth head I am told. COPE sent me a 186 page report, which I paginated for convenience of reference, and below are the highlights of this report. To contest every word of this monstrosity would take hundreds of pages in response – but it is a fantasy, they wrote a fantasy about me.

On January 1/17/2013 I met with a man named Toate Ganago – once – and never really saw him again

On July 19, 2013 I met with a Lisa Robinson about paperwork – and never met her again

I met a man named Dale Hawkins 2 times – once in person – -and once by video – after talking to me for all 5 minutes he said “take a pill” – and he insisted I take .5 mg of Risperidone – he wrote “for mood instability” – and I did not have any such thing – nor did I want to take this pill – but I was pressured into it. He stated I had Bipolar Disorder – and I spoke to him for 10 minutes – it’s impossible to declare me with such a disorder immediately upon meeting me.

Page C-26

on 10/23/2012 someone wrote “Generalized Anxiety Disorder”
on 10/24/2012 someone wrote “Bipolar Affective Disorder” and “Manic, moderate”
on 10/24/2012 someone wrote “Alcohol abuse, continuous drinking behavior”

None of this is true – none – and then repeated on 4/8/2013 and 11/20/2013 and 11/21/2013 – and there is no way people I met once to sign their forms could have concluded any of this.

I do not have “anxiety disorder” in any way, shape or form. What I have is “let’s get it done and the quicker the better” and I am met with sloth and incompetence by bureaucrats – it was stunning what people in they system didn’t know, couldn’t get done, didn’t do or did wrong and on and on – just stunning.

I do not have “bipolar” anything – I am not depressed whatsoever – I am relentlessly happy. Every work of art and music and writing I produce is happy, gleeful, bright, cheery and effervescent. Neither am I “manic” – I proceed along at a steady clip of productivity – perhaps these people in this system never encountered someone who gets things done. Probably because of the type of agency they are they do deal with unfortunate souls – and so they imagined me one too. But none of them spent a moment with me watching my creative output, or observing my life – I met with them to sign their forms.

Page C-28 is stated on the same dates as on C-26, in complete contradiction to the previous statements: “Alcohol: no use, 1-3 times a month” – and if a few drinks a month at a gay bar with my fellows is alcohol abuse – well – it just can’t be.

“Drug use – no use or never” – because I just don’t do drugs no did I ever – I explain cocaine in the late 1980s on another page. But basically – the only mind altering drugs I ever did – was the drug Risperdone which these people pushed on me. To my mind they were drug pushers.

10/08/2013 – a woman named Heidi Snavely is noted as having a follow up appointment slated with me – and I never met her until Sept 2nd 2013 – on pretty much the last day I was in Tucson – for maybe 12 minutes – and a month later she is desperate for my attention.

10/08/2013 – Kathleen Oldfather is stated that my follow up appointment with her was canceled – and I have no idea who she is and never met her to my knowledge – never spoke to her – and I was gone from the city for a month already.

Page C-30

On a form that is not filled in – with the name Toate Ganago printed on top – except for one check mark in a box – it says “program and provider assignment” a box is check marked “SMI” – why someone did this I have no idea. Perhaps Mr Ganago, acting on his strong Christian beliefs – which his cubicle had ample presence of – and his statements to me that I “should pray to our heavenly father” – and his African origins – for he was from Nigeria – concluded that gay men were SMI. And that’s what I conclude – this man was simply acting on his Christian Nigerian roots and culture and beliefs – and the history of gay men in that land is sad torture and abuse, and Christians are not exactly gay friendly either. So he simply checked off a box which led to this absurd nonsense – because he believes that gay men are certainly “severely mentally ill” – what else could we be to a man from such a culture and nation?

Page C-45

On 3/25/2013 supposedly I was at COPE’s Lakeside office from 10:40 AM to 10:50 AM for “Case Management” with Joanna Reis – I never met this woman ever – and she notes “Client Not Observed” and then states I said “I need to be calmed and not be moody” “I need to feel better” “I want to sleep better” – and I never said this – I don’t even talk like this. I had no sleep issues, I wasn’t moody, and I never spoke to her – at all.

Page C-46

on 3/26/2013 Joanna Reis again writes what I supposedly said – though she notes “Client not observed” – this woman insists on this page that I should be attending some group – what group I have no idea – and I do not do groups. I went to one luncheon with Michael Castaneda’s group of men he served – all of whom were indeed former drug addicts and alcoholics who took that route to getting HIV – and I am this erudite creative intellectual with a history of nothing but accomplishment who is an old gay man who got it the old fashioned way – gay sex – at the beginning – when it was “it” – way before it was “AIDS.”

Page C-47

on 3/27/2013 Joanna Reis claims I made the same statements the previous 2 pages – this time between 10:10 AM and 10:15 AM – and that a CL called me – no one called me from COPE – and I did not call them

Page C-48

4/08/2013 – it is stated I met with a Joanna Reis between 2:40 PM and 4:20 PM – I did not – unless this is the time I spent with Toate Ganago months previously – Supposedly they discussed SMI services with me – no one did – ever. It is written that it was explained to me what this was – “Severely Mentally Ill” – and that I “agreed to be SMI” – Never – I would not ever agree that I was “severely mentally ill” – the idea is preposterous. I fought the “gay men are mentally ill” charge all my life – I could not have ever agreed to such a thing.

On this very day I published to my blog “And on the 8th Day He Created Gay Men” – a glorification of the glory of gay guys – I could not extol our virtues and goodness in the morning and go trash myself in the afternoon – it’s ludicrous.

On 4/9/2013 I published to my blog a rational article on North Korea – that would pertain today.

On 4/10/2013 I was published on a major Right Wing Christian Conservative Tea Party website called “American Thinkier” extolling the virtues and glory of gay guys.

In life I was actually doing something – in this woman’s mind I was falling apart.

Page C-51

4/25/2013

A man named Scott Kim becomes my case manager – I met him once – to sign forms – I didn’t ask him for a thing.

Meanwhile Mr. Kim is writing that he met with this Joanna Reis – who I have no idea who she is – but she wrote “client has difficulty concentrating and focusing one one task/subject for extended periods of time” – which is absurd – perhaps I just do things too fast and various for this woman I never met to comprehend. The creative and intellectual output I did while in Tucson shows how I can concentrate and focus on things far beyond these people’s comprehension. Perhaps when I said I can create a piece of music in 15 minutes – I “can’t concentrate” because perhaps this person thinks one needs hours to write a piece of music. Well, listen to the music, come and watch me write a piece in 15 minutes – none of these people ever did.

On the other hand, I might have mentioned to someone that “I can’t concentrate because there is on going air conditioning work going on in my apartment” – and there was – for months tubes and compressors and workmen in and out – how could I work on what I wanted to work on? – so she reduced this complex reason to a simple “can’t concentrate.” Same with “function” – I said “it is difficult to function with the parade of workman in and out of my house all day” – and she reduced it to “can’t function” – it’s absurd to reduce a clear and obvious reason to a negative word.

She notes I was having financial problems with student loans – but how she new this I do not know – I did not go to COPE to figure it out – at most I asked Michael Castaneda if he had any ideas how to solve it, and he did not. In June of 2013 when I went to NY and Pennsylvania for my niece’s wedding I went to the New York University Bursars office and spoke with a woman named Tatiana – who had 12 pages that supposedly was my student loan records, when there should have been 2 bankers boxes at least – where my name was spelled 4 different ways, they had two different social security numbers – and they didn’t have the address I used for 4 years while attending NYU – and several wrong addresses – and a demand for $14,000 – on the nose. I have since resolved the issue administratively by using something called Nelnet – but in fact, I never had outstanding student loans – what I had was bureaucrats mangling my name. A book could be written of the times my (h)last name was mangled.

They note my complaint about misspelling my name, and dismiss it as some paranoia perhaps – I include here a cute document – from the day I was born, I wasn’t even “James” yet – they misspelled my name. The letters from Governor Ray and the White House have my name misspelled. As I always send to bureaucrats on the name thing – I include the passenger list of the ship my grandfather came over on – the SS Lapland – where they misspelled our name. The countless examples I could give would make a book. My friend Jerry Rosco, who I know for 40 years, and wrote a letter of support included here – spelled my name wrong – eh, it happens and I laugh it through as I seek to correct it – but no one can tell me it does not happen.

Page C-52

Scott Kim claims he called me and had a conversation with me between 10:29 AM and 11:11 AM – I have no recollection of this call – he states I said “More difficulty talking to people in public, because I have so many thoughts.” – I could never have said this – and at most I would say – “I don’t like talking to a lot of people because I find them dolts.”

“client reports not sleeping well and average 4 -5 hours a night” – yes, well, this is sleeping well to me. So if someone asks “How long do you sleep for?” – I answer honestly – “all my life I rarely get more than 6 hours sleep – 4 is enough, 5 is average” _ and that’s it – It’s not a problem to me – but apparently to Mr. Kim this is a sign of something. I am well aware that 8 hours is considered “normal” – but well, I never did – I can’t sleep 8 hours. But this is not “sleeping poorly” nor “lack of sleep” – it’s “normal” for me. I sleep very soundly, and deeply, in repose and rest. I have tales of people trying to wake me and they could not do it. Dr. Lambert notes it in his report of 9/3/2013. I hit the pillow, and in minutes I am out. One story, my brother Charlie was a sleep walker – and one night when he was 15 or so and me 16 or so – and us sharing a bedroom – he walked into our fish tank and broke it and cut his knees. My parents came and so did EMS – and I slept through it all. My mother told me about it – the EMS people questioned it. She joked “He always sleeps like that.” In fact, my mom told of how as a baby I slept through the night, and did not do the baby awake every few hours bit of lore. These people keep pushing a sleeping pill on me – and I refuse to take it.

Page C-54

on 6/27/2013 – Scott Kim claims I spoke with him between 2:12 and 2:28 PM – and that I called him to report, as Kim writes: “he recently returned from 3 months in New York.” – first, I would not call Mr. Kim to report my whereabouts – this man was irrelevant to my life and I had no need to call him for anything. Second – In early June I went to NYC and Pennsylvania for 5 days for my niece’s wedding. I did not go for 3 months – that’s just absurd. This man doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Page C-60

Scott Kim signs on a paper dated 9/3/2013 that a woman named Heidi is my Case Manager – I never met this woman until 9/2/2013 when she came to my house to tell me I was on my own to solve my housing situation because of a bedbug infestation that was incredible. She spent 3/4s of her time on the phone with someone – ignoring me at my door – and did not enter my apartment and I never saw or heard from her again – except perhaps 2 or 3 emails “Can you get me the life saving drugs!” “No,” she replied – so why talk to her again?

I did say to her “it was like a Hollywood horror flick, the way the bedbugs came out of the sockets and from under the moldings” – and from this – this woman Heidi concluded I am “having delusions of being a Hollywood movie star.” This is idiocy – there is no way to put a gloss on this. When a perfectly apt cultural reference is made – and Hollywood horror flicks about infestations of bugs or vermin are legion – “Ben” “Arachnophobia” “Men in Black” (cockroaches) – “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” and more. But – she twisted it to I was delusional – it is stunning.

“he plans to move to Costa Rica” – this is a fantasy – never could have I said this – not even as a joke. While I suppose I would like to visit the place for its famed flora and fauna – the place really is not on my mind at all. But this is the claim by COPE and Heidi that I am delusional. She also claimed elsewhere in this report that I was moving to Philadelphia – to be a Hollywood movie star – this woman doesn’t know which direction I’m going for what – and it is sheer delusion on her part.

Pages C-1 through C-60 are about me while I was in Tucson – it mentions my sessions with Mike Castaneda – which COPE writes about their own contracted employee as “Caseineda” several times.

People I met once – Lisa Robinson some financial and insurance update expert – we did what we had to do, I signed her forms and never spoke to her again.

Some case manager when I first was told I had to deal with COPE – I don’t even remember her name – maybe it was this Joanna Reis, or Kathleen Oldfather – I met her once for some forms to sign and went on my way to never see or hear from her again.

Toate Ganago I met once for his questions – and once in the lobby I met him and he gave me a ride home – and came up to see my art.

Dale Hawkins I met twice – once in person, once by video

And I “met,” if it could be called that – some woman on a TV that I spent maybe 5 minutes with.

And that is the extent of my contact with this Agency – I did not call them – I did not ask for their help – I did not seek their services – I kept them at arms length.

They did not call me, they did not visit me.

And then – on 9/3/2013 I left Tucson with no intention of ever returning. And there was no way to contact them by phone because my phone was washed. Nor was I going to call them from Mexico where I went. I might have emailed them the same request I always make to all these bureaucrats – “Do You Have The Life Saving Drugs I Need?” – and the answer is usually “no, go talk to someone else.”

Page C-70

on 9/5/2013 a Katherine Derrick states she called me – maybe she did – but I was in Mazatlan by then, and my phone was washed anyway – I had no phone.

Pages C-71 through C-75 is people running around like chickens with their heads cut off working diligently to solve the problems they imagined I could not do myself – and I was not even in the city.

C-76
7/18/2013

a Diane Nonaka claims she met with me at my house – and mentions things that are true – I have art, I don’t like COPE and SAAF – I find both agencies obnoxious, frankly. I have no recollection of this woman. In fact, only Toate Ganago once for about 10 minutes, and Michael Castaneda, and the woman who got me a few items for the house – ever came to my house. And Heidi on 9/2/2013 when she did not enter my house.

Sometime several months earlier a woman from COPE did come to my home – helping deliver some furnishings they were able to get me for free. I did not ask them for anything – Michael Castaneda came to my house – saw what I had, and arranged the shopping spree. This woman was a charming lady, from NYC too. I made two trips with her to a second hand store and they let me pick and choose things – and I did – bake ware, pots, dishes, glassware, knick-knacks – 2 small book shelves – and a chair. That was probably back in January or February of 2013. I had thought her name was Cheryl or something – I do not remember women very well – ah, but every man I do.

Page C-78 –

On 1/14/2013 –
I met with Dale Hawkins – from 3:00 PM to 3:15 PM – and from this brief time this man concluded I was bipolar and possibly abusing alcohol and mania – and I contend that this is impossible to tell from such a short time. But Mr. Hawkins was very willing to push a pill on me – he was down right insistent I needed it. And I tried to say no – but even Michael Castaneda said “Try it” – they were drug pushers to me – for I wanted to talk to a gay male counselor about surviving AIDS – which is an emotional issue – not a mental issue. And the only people I ever argued with in Tucson are these bureaucrats who were just incompetent.

On the form it notes I denied all the negatives – like suicidal thoughts, or drugs, delusions – and it notes that I appeared normal in all other regards – -except my “judgment” and my “insight” are noted to be “fair” – and for a drug pusher to say that after 15 minutes of him cajoling me into taking the drugs he deems I should have – against my statement that I did not need a drug – is audacious. In fact – it notes on this page “Med complaint” – well – yes – I couldn’t get the drugs that kept me alive – as they pushed mind altering substances on me – which he also notes I didn’t want to take his pills.

“Only had 1 freak out in the past six weeks” – yes, I had one hissy fit dealing with abject idiots in a system that they required me to deal with which they didn’t know how to work. They wanted me on several pills – and the pharmacy tells me they’re ready – and I get there – and they tell me, ‘no, just one pill today, come back tomorrow for the other one, and the third will be OK’d in a week” and I was just “you got to be kidding.” They wanted me to spend hours of my time traveling to an fro their office – because they couldn’t get 3 pills together at once? Ridiculous – so I had a hissy fit.

And what is this “hissy fit” – well, I just get all irate and pretty much tell whomever that they are idiots – and after a minute or two of fury I just walk away – and vow never to speak to them again if I can help it. The moment is but 2 minutes – 3? And I just go “you idiot” and walk away – that’s the “freak out” – and then I go home and get back to my creative projects. But Mr. Hawkins didn’t want to talk to me about anything in detail, and we couldn’t have in 15 minutes anyway- Mr. Hawkins wanted to push his pills and get on with lunch.

Page C-79
1/14/2013 – for the 15 minutes Dale Hawkins spent talking to me, of which half was him pushing his pill on me – he declared me “Bipolar Affective Disorder, Manic, Moderate Degree”

I am not “Manic” – I am a New Yorker – and New York does not have the reputation of being a fast city in a New York Minute because it is not what it is. It is not my problem that a man from Indiana, now in Tucson – believes people from NYC are “Manic” – it’s absurd. He should speed up, not me slow down, Life is short and I have things to do.

Page C-80

4/8/2013 – 2:40 to 3:00

I “met” with Dale Hawkins – on a TV – him in Indiana – as he fed bites of food into his mouth – so half the conversation was him munching. I was furious, just mad as hell, this was absurd – as he pushed his pill and ignored what I tried to say.

“Medication review” – “I am very upset” it notes – yeah – they are pushing pills on me that I did not want to take – and the ones I wanted and needed were a difficulty to get every month.

“Patient is upset that he had to wait 15 minutes in the lobby” – -and I admit – I do not wait well – and I am fastidious about being on time – and I expect other people to meet scheduled times. And a hallmark of bureaucracy is having to wait – which is why I avoid them – which is why anyone claiming that I sought these people out is absurd. I did my best to stay away from COPE – and Dale Hawkins was just another pointless man in my life. Yet so sure of himself and my needs – that it’s my fault I don’t want to have his ministrations.

The rest of the 186 page report is just people I never heard of, never met, never spoke to, never communicated with in any way – having fine discussion about me – to refute this line by line would produce another 180 pages. Even after I left Tucson – there they are – running around like chickens with their heads cut off – all concerned about me.

In fact – there is more verbiage about their concern for me after I left the city than there is about me while I was there.

 

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