On defriending another Facebook “friend”

I had to “defriend” another person – two this week. This saddens me. Once again, it is on the gay thing. Let me try to explain this. I have no problem with anyone wondering or questioning the subject – it is complex and confusing, I admit. The subject is perhaps the most complex this nation faces, and yet the most irrelevant – not because gay guys are special or wonderful – but because it comes with law, philosophy, religion, politics, emotion, opinion and a woeful lack of facts or data and any solid ground on which to walk — it requires the give and take between the hetero and myself. It is a two way street. You are not a train coming at me in a dark tunnel. And if you are, I am a stick of dynamite ready to run you off the rails.

I have never had a problem in engaging any heterosexual on the issue – nor minded anyone who wishes to close their ears to it. I have a strong belief in Liberty – which, whether one wishes it to be or not, includes gay guys. We exist – for whatever reason – and there are nearly 100 theories as to why – not a one of which is proved beyond a reasonable doubt.

But one thing I will not countenance is the idea that I and my fellows are “evil” or “sick” or “dangerous” or “a threat to society” or “intrinsically disordered” or any other such negative. Perplexing we may be – but too we are fine fellows. All that is said against us is provable as wrong. There is not much said for us. But a gay guy who owns a business and supports himself and pays his taxes and is decent to his neighbor simply cannot be a danger or a threat or evil. It is entirely irrelevant to me what you “believe.” There are many who believe many things, I respect their right to so believe what they wish. If one wishes to believe the sky is green and the grass blue, it is your right. I support it – though I also reserve the right to stand away from you as somewhat lunatic.

But I cannot, nor will not, agree with your belief about me – nor tolerate your demand that I so believe or suffer some consequence you wish to mete out. 

Every friend I have on Facebook asked to be my friend — I agree to all requests — I have never asked anyone to friend me — it is a strict policy of mine. I had said I would never defriend anyone — alas, of late that has proven impossible. I shall not accept attacks on my being. All my friends around here know I post gay related posts – surely it is no secret. Nor is it a secret that I firmly believe that my God did say it was good. I have a 1st Amendment right to believe this. I also am quite aware that most of my friends around here never comment or “like” my gay posts – that is your right. I post things as I wish, as you post as you wish. But I will not kowtow to those who tell me not to post or comment as I wish. No one has the right to interfere with what I say. I am polite, decent, humorous and always take a moment to decide whether it is worth it to so comment as I might, or whether I should forbear or tone it down. 

However, this evening I was told to not say another word on the subject that consumes the nation – and threatened by this petulant child with consequences I could care less about. This gay subject seems to well be on track to consume the nation for another decade or two. I started some 40 years ago, in 1973 in Mr. Ford’s history class. Now seems hardly the time to stop. I have written a book about it; it’s on Kindle, under my name – I put my light upon the basket.

A goodly percentage of my friends around here never say a word on the subject – fine. But if anyone is going to say something, or keep saying something on it – then it is my duty to comment. For, as Frank Kameny, a Rights for Gay Guys pioneer before I was even born said: “We gay guys are the experts on us, the rest are amateurs.” Indeed, we are. We know more about our “Lifestyle” than any heterosexual who ever existed. We know more how we feel, how we think, how we are, than any hetero could ever imagine. What do you know? You “know” what you believe or heard in a locker room or on the street. And I have lived it.

 I have been fired from jobs, called “faggot” – threatened with violence. I have argued with priests and pastors of divers religions who insisted I agree with them that I am a horrid person. I have told them to jump in a lake. I have had this discussion more times than you can imagine. Through it all I have maintained a grace and decency in the face of the most outrageous scorn and comparisons – and I simply do not have to stand there and take it with no recourse. The right of self-defense is fearful only to tyrants. To me, frankly, heteros are tyrants until proven otherwise. I have, in my time, heard many heteros tell me I have no right to self defense – that what they say is correct and what do I know! Let me tell you what I know – 90 out of a hundred heteros are ignorant on the subject. And I aim to set them, um, straight. 

I also have many other opinions on many other subjects – about which also I post – climate change, deficits and debt, ObamaCare and sundry other political issues. I did not spend $55,000 on a college education at one of America’s finest universities for nothing. Nor did God Himself give me the brain I have to listen to arrant nonsense about me with a servile surrender. Obviously, many of you like my comments and opinions of the many subjects that face this nation. And, as I said, one of those subjects is gay guys. Virtually all the heteros I know on Facebook are from two websites – I Own The World and HopeNchange – where I seem to be the only one who uses my real name. The rest hide behind monikers of some sort or another. To be clear, on gay matters, I know more than anyone I know – including most gay guys.

Gay guys are mostly light thinkers – we see things primarily through a gay lens because, oddly enough, we can’t see straight. It is foreign to our existence. It is just not something understandable to us. Indeed, and probably quite to your surprise, I have no idea how heteros think – you all are an enigma to me. But, if we are to resolve the issue – and certainly gay guys are not going anywhere, despite the wishes of many still – it would behoove all to actually try to listen to us about the matter. For we might just have an insight that would help you deal with it.

I hate the discussion – I always have – yet, I’m compelled to have it by the reality of life in these here United States – much as gay guys in all the world are having their discussions in their milieu. It is a worldwide thing, for we are part of humanity. Gay guys are not some political issue – we are an issue of humanity and how heteros will treat the least of God’s creatures, if that’s what you want to call us.

 We did not ask to be gay. Or desire to be so – But, we certainly have no problems being gay and are quite literally thrilled with just exactly who we are. But it is the inescapable reality that we are. And if this bothers you that a certain small percentage is gay – as we’ve been saying for decades: Pfft. Just pfft.

 Still, yes, sad that a man who asked to be my friend thought he could say anything about gay guys whatsoever, and then while preaching liberty, squashed my own. Well, pfft, and a quick “defriend.” God bless him … but stay out of my life. Yeesh.


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