Hey, gay guys, psst: it’s liberty, not equality.

One thing nice about having a father who made me read the Declaration of Independence is that I sort of know it well. I don’t really see the word or concept of equality, but I see the concept and word liberty. My gay friends and those I see on the internet are, I feel, way too much into claiming “equality” and well, a lot of people object. On the other hand, those same people are quite sure we enjoy all the rights and Liberty that the nation has to offer – except that which they wish to deny to us, which is most of it. And they do so because they claim we’re not equal. In a way, using this equal word is like arguing with a brick wall. I could be bothered.

Since I first came out in the early 1970s, I have used the word Liberty to describe what I sought. I wanted liberty to walk down a street hand in hand with my guy. I don’t give a damn if anyone thinks it’s equal. If they say I’m sick or something, I sneeze at them. Maybe it’ll make them gay too — it seems to be so catching that any hetero will turn gay at a moment’s notice as soon as gay anything is approved.

Arguing equality with the remaining people who are against us is sort of pointless. Oh, let them say what they want, who cares? They have created the fantasy of the homosexual and they’re out to squash it. Don Quixote had more success with windmills. Oh, I suppose keep track of the mush they utter – but it’s time to segue to Liberty – and there it is for us – clear, indelible: All men are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights – and if their creator didn’t create gay men, oh well, too bad. For our creator did – clearly so, here we are. Simple as that, 1, 2, 3. Now, since the 1st through 10th Amendments being the limitations on government to not infringe on the rights of the people – or any portion thereof – we should simply point out that all the hoobah is about the fact that some religions don’t like us. They seek to use the power of the state against us. Well, now, that’s a problem.

But, in going forward, as the term goes: argue Liberty. Oh, I was chased away from gay groups for being too radical because I argued Liberty instead of equality.

For instance, once, in West Palm Beach, I stood up in front of a 100 or so radical militant homosexual lobbying activists, as we are called, and suggested that we sue every public authority in the state from city clerk to governor. I did so because in the 1990s it was illegal to serve alcoholic to known homosexuals. Oh, the law was clear, tipsy sissies were a peril to the nation. And so we were prohibited from drinking – all over the nation in fact. Perhaps we were like children, to be monitored and controlled, spanked when bad. Who knows why such a law existed. I’m sure there were good reasons expressed at the time, as heteros think all their reasons are good, regardless of logic, data, thought or reason, as we well know.

And so I argued that the gay groups of the state should sue the governor, the attorney general, the alcohol control board, the licensing authorities, the chief of police, the county attorneys, the state police, and the tax collector – all for dereliction of duty – for having allowed known homosexuals to drink our minds silly, as is said we do. And that we should have egged on those who would wish the law to be enforced, such as Tony Perkins and Linda Harvey of hounding us to death do we part fame – to join our suit to prevent the flouting of the law by flaunting homosexuals having cocktails at five after a hard day at work serving heterosexuals who are blind to the gay guy in front of them.

And lo, the peaceably assembled rose up as one and was not peaceful at all. Oh my, they were besides themselves in shock, anger, fear, “you’re a lunatic!’ and other such catcalls of derision.

I said “Silly fellows, the state will relent and remove the odious laws, or they shall try to enforce them and we shall riot. And then the whole thing will be over and liberty promoted.”

The chairman of the group, speaking on behalf of all, more or less invited me not to return, less I cause the cause damage or something. Then they went back to arguing some such about “don’t discriminate” or something, you know, aggrieved minorities. Oh, pshaw, that’s not what I was thinking – I was thinking it seems like Prohibition, which had been repealed, still applied to us – and only us. Well, that was anti-Liberty – I don’t know about equality – or how one cannot discriminate against us – but still outlaw a toddy legally – however unenforced the law was.

The very fact that it was unenforced was proof that the entire government was corrupt and derelict. Their duty, as I’m told so often, is to uphold the law – and not a single one did. And moreover, they took the taxes with great glee. Oh, that’s some royalist cronyism communism, who knows what-ism that was only against us – despite ample evidence in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution that not only weren’t we excluded, but that we were included:

All men are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Well, there’s no equality in there – but plenty of liberty. Screw the equality talk, go for liberty – and then we could be done with it.

For you see – it is easy to decry and disdain any equality we might suggest – they’re set in stone about it. So be it. However, they claim to be steeped in Liberty – and so shall we claim. We should claim inclusion on 1st through 10th Amendment grounds, and not some vague equality, 14th Amendment where are we in the thing language. And thus they shall have to begin to argue that the Founding Documents don’t apply to us, nor the Bill of Rights – which will be interesting to watch. Oh, it shall be great glee, like fireworks, as hoisting by petard is.

For instance, the next time one of the creeps says where mentally sick – immediately inform him that we are thus covered by the American With Disabilities Act – and thus protected from discrimination and entitled to get married. Let them argue we’re a special type of sick – that the laws don’t apply to us – and then we could argue, for the sake of argument, as Aquinas like logical games, reduction ad absurdam Medieval-ism and point out that since the laws and founding documents don’t seem to apply to us – well, then neither should the taxes. In fact, let’s be bold and ask for some lands all to our own. Oh, one can have fun with radical militant homosexual ideas on the Fourth of July. It’s our Liberty to do so.

You enjoy your Fourth, I shall dream of Speedolandia.  

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