Endless supposition of the End

I just got back from a wonderful vacation to New York & the Poconos. Saw old friends, and had much time with my family, went to my nieces wedding — a fine time was had by all. I scanned in over 400 pictures, letters & documents from my trove of family history. And I had thought the Supreme Court would have handed down their two gay decisions. They did not. So maybe this week.

 Here’s the sort of thing that really concerns me – figuring out this document:


Of course, heteros are speculating endlessly what it means, whatever the court decides. As if whatever the court says is going to be the end of the discussion. Here’s a whole article about the many possibilities of the outcomes: http://news.yahoo.com/supreme-court-range-options-gay-marriage-071707199.html – posed in the “once this is done, that’s it” tone that is laughable.

 Doesn’t make a difference. The issue is far more complex than two decisions by the court. After all, the goal was and is the removal of every single law against gay men & gay marriage anywhere, and the inclusion of gay men into society as normal (for us) decent, kind and reasonable people. And remember well, these cases are not about the LBT part of the vaunted community – but about gay men. “Homosexuality” as it’s constantly referred to, is gay men – sissies, if you will. Queers and faggots too.

 It is not about transgendered people – they already can get married once they change their gender – and they get married heterosexually afterward. It’s not about bisexuals – which I don’t think really exist, but only gay guys who play heterosexual for a while, and then slowly, inexorably, move gay – that’s been my experience in 40 years in the “homosexual lifestyle” – a mythical thing that supposedly revolves around only sex. And it’s not about Lesbians, who have never faced the societal disdain we gay men have. No one yelled “fagot” at a lesbian – and Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt have made millions of dollars off of lesbians. Remember, Leviticus which is bandied about is about gay men – not the LBT community.

 In New York I went to the usual clubs – Julius on West 10th, and Ty’s on Christopher, and I passed by Stonewall Inn, where it all started and the Monster which I never went into in my life – and well, there’s no LBT there. For a “community” these four groups have little to do with each other unless there’s a meeting. Once the meeting is over (which I never went to) then everyone goes back to the separate existences, for they are not at all related, despite many modern gay men’s political correctness over “sexual minorities.” There wasn’t a LBT to be seen, as usual. Where those people hang out I don’t know – they are not in gay bars. Billy is still the bartender at Julius, always nice to see a man I’ve known since I was 17 years old – looking good as ever – in the same job for all these years.

 Just as the whole thing is about “sexuality,” which oddly enough, heterosexuals don’t seem to have – only gay guys have a sexuality, and on this everyone is woefully confused. Not even bisexuals, lesbians or transgendered have any sexuality apparently – they are mere appendages to the gay male debate. And the debate which rages in this country is over 100% gay men and nothing else. It is so obvious to me in the pronouncements of all the many people opposed to our existence.

 While I was on the road, Exodus, the 40 year old spectacular failure of a group that had a 100% failure rate changing gay men to heterosexuals chose to shut down, maybe. 100% failure – except those gay men who choose to lie to their spouses – or even be honest: “Honey, I still like men, but I’ll marry you the woman as a safety valve” or whatever the few of them tell their female spouses as they admit they lust in their heart and body for men. How they have sex is beyond my comprehension – he’s imagining men while shtupping his wife, I guess. It’s delusion, but not my business. If some woman wants to marry a man who she knows his eye wanders every single moment of every single day – that’s not my concern. Just like women who marry condemned prisoners are weird, but not my concern. The few men in these groups are losers in such a fantastic way I can’t imagine what their thinking is.

 No, the debate is about gay men. Which is why, on my vacation, I prepared my book: “The Pink Sheep of the Ninth Circle: homosexuality, homosexuals, sissies, queers, faggots and gay men” – it should be ready this week – my technical person is working on it now. He’s known me since I was 20 years old. He’s a great guy, he’ll do right by me in getting it up on Kindle.

 No matter what the courts rule no one will be truly happy. The discussion is not nearly over – but the end is visible some 20 years from now. Hopefully I’ll be around to see it. Most young gay men think gayness is now a Democratic party plank, which is laughable, for until very recently Democrats were just as against gayness as Republicans. Meanwhile, I know far too many Republicans who are very gay friendly – including my own family, and many people on Facebook. I’m quite the Tea Partier. Modern gay youth think the Tea Party is against them – they confuse religious fundamentalism with politics.

 This whole melange of things I’ve included in my book – which is part memoir and part polemic. But I really can’t be worried how the courts rule. I’m not even sure that the Supremes realize that there are two gay anniversaries this week: Monday, the 24th, is the 40th Anniversary of the arson at the Upstairs Lounge in New Orleans – where 32 gay men were slaughtered, and it’s still unsolved – and Stonewall – which is when gay men, sissies even, started to really say “No!” to everything said about us. The court decisions will be wrapped up in the two. The slaughter is finally getting some attention. Stonewall moves further away from what it was: a fight against a repressive police state against gay men that included constant raids against the 1st Amendment Right of gay men to peaceably assemble.

 This is not about Equality – but about Liberty. I never really spoke of Equality, but only Liberty. And well, no matter how the courts rule there will be those who think it’s a new Dred Scot case or some Brown v. Board of Education. I can’t worry. Heterosexuals will still discuss gay men in the bizarre and convoluted ways they always have. Those seeking to hound us forever will continue – they will even make slanderous and libelous comments about us – and gay groups will do nothing. I think we should sue for billions in reparations and damages – but I’ve always been a radical.

 In any event, it’s Sunday morning, and I’m going to go play piano at an old folks home this afternoon – I’m sure they miss me. And I’ll just let the week unfold – and promote my book – and laugh at the endless speculation and verbiage about what the God-Given Pursuit of Happiness for gay men means to heterosexuals, as if we have such a compelling power to take over the world. Egad and yeesh.



  1. Libria

    Hi, Jim
    I am not sure that I completely understand your point(…figuring out this document) but this is a document in archaic czech language. J. John recommends his former employee. Probably, it is a student internship. In the modern language: a school report card and employment reference letter at the same time.

    • Well I sort of figured out the jist — now I’m trying to figure out what exactly it says — it’s my great grandfather’s document — we’ve got many others — I’m trying to reconstruct his life.

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