Tea Party Gay Strange Bedfellow

Well, there’s nothing so discordant in America today as the gay man who thinks the Tea Party is good.

Oh, you young gays, and you hetero Tea Party enthusiasts – first, let me remind you that you all have no idea what a “Tea Party” was – ah, you all laughed or freaked at “Teabagger” – ah, the whole terminology is luscious with irony. For a “Tea Party” dear laughers and adherents was a gay sex party – yes, a gay sex party. Oh my. You all are so innocent as to terms and usages and English I cringe and giggle. Cringe at the lack of knowledge, giggle at the same. Ah, a tea party gay man is so, so real, so obvious, so even the dastardly fellow bringing down the Republic as seen by some Tea Party adherent’s of today it’s laughable – and so “anti-gay” as to pity the gays who don’t even know their own terminology.

Ah, liberty, Tea Party and Gays today – you are clueless. This I have seen. This I have experienced. You all know me on Facebook – oh, from Janet to Joel, from Nancy to Nathan – I trend the line between the “Tea Party Gay Man” and um, a tea party gay man – oh, glorious giggling. On the net today I find the Tea Party and the Gays of today are of the same mind, yet opposed – use the same terms differently, but agree – oh, I can’t find a more ridiculous set of the most strange bedfellows of American politics than I can of the Tea Party & Gay Men. Not even Lesbians – and forget the damn Bisexuals (sissy boys who can’t come out yet,) and Transgendered (the heteros in the gay mix …)

Let me dispatch the Transgendered first – not because I’m opposed to them – oh no – slice and dice as you wish – on your own dime. I care not. I don’t understand it. I don’t grasp it. It’s not me. I’m opposed to it for me. I know of no gay man who is transgendered, and I know but one tranny, and she hates my guts for my very ideas. But I’m opposed to paying for it, this surgery. But, oh my heaven’s, God bless.

But every Transgendered person I ever read about is a hetero. Each and every one claims to be a woman in a man’s body, or a man in a woman’s body. Yes? Don’t shy away from that fact. They are “gender confused.” Yes, well, fine. Again, I’m not really sure of it, but I don’t care about it. But then, each and every Transgendered person, fine folk they are, the minute they switch sexes – well, then they go after the opposite sex. That is, the male-to-female runs after men – and the female-to-male runs after females. Great. Well, the last I looked, when a man runs after a woman, or a woman a man, well, then that is God fearing true Red, White & Blue American manhood & womanhood heterosexuality – and well, I don’t understand – not for the life of me – what me and my sissy fellows have to do with that.

But still, I’m told – TOLD! – by gays and Tea Party alike! In uniformity that baffles me, truly – that these heteros in the wrong body must be gay related somehow. I don’t know – perhaps on the freak-o-meter most heteros already put us on. Still, the gays and Tea Party – in agreement – are opposed. A most confusing situation for yours truly, the logical one.

And all including “T”’ in the ever growing alphabetical list (I’m all for including “H” for heterosexual at this point!) LGBT did was require me for the past 20 years to explain that I don’t wish to cut my dick off (oh, I hate mal-words, I do, but this time, oh, they are needed, for the obvious absurdity of it all,) and become a woman – I am not gender confused in the slightest. Any idea that I am is errant and arrant. Pick, I don’t care. I resent the very notion. And for my fellow gay men to ally themselves with heterosexuals, and then demand – DEMAND! – that I join them in the legal hetero marriages of trannys, while my own is denied – well, I dare say – NO! That the Tea Party allies with my gay fellows in this charade is all the more absurd. How’s that for a comparison in logic?

Meanwhile, the psychology of transgendered is beyond me – but I don’t got it. Come near me with a knife even under Honest to God wholesome surgery that is paid for by the government and I’ll use my 2nd Amendment Rights one way or the other, gun or not – self defense and self preservation, I do declare. I’m a guy who likes guys — and that’s that.

Then too, there’s economics. Oh, the subject is grand. It’s big, and local and national and international. It’s intuitive and counter-intuitive. It’s filled with graphs and dictums. It’s said to be this and that – oh, economics, dismal science and faith and mush and belief and reality – and that evil of mathematics too of course – it can be endlessly argued for it is more art than science, more superstition than fact, and more complex than pretty much any other human endeavor. Only gayness itself perhaps eclipses economics as the subject of profound discord.

And yet, let me tell you – whom one smooches has no bearing on economics in the big form, but very much in the small form. For in the national view, sissy smooching is irrelevant, but for the gay couple whether they can take advantage of various laws currently on the books (many of which I disagree with on other grounds,) it is very local, right down to the bedroom.

For the life of me I can’t figure out the “gay” position on whether the US should or should not belong to the UN, the IMF, or the Im-Ex Bank, or any other international entity. I can’t find the heterosexual position either. In fact, I can find no heterosexual position on any thing other than gayness. To be clear, there is no gay position on heteros, except which ones of you are nuts  — And yet, many heterosexuals, and many gays – tea party and gays alike in unison strangely enough – agree that there are indeed “gay” positions on this or that. The idea is preposterous. Yet, here we are, Tea Party and Gay Activists (the professionals, not me, the schnook,) agreeing that gayness has a relationship to whether GM should be bailed out. I don’t know — does the 2014 Sissy Smoocher SUV come with a V-8? I don’t want the “family van” SUV with the V-8, no.

And I find too, that while the Tea Party folks of today despise government, they are all for government against gay folks. And while the Tea Party gays of yesterday were all against government they are now for a lot of government – I find it so odd. I just do. Beats me. How can two groups who complain about government and its interference in the lives of citizens now of a sudden welcome interference in the lives of citizens?

Oh, they say, each, that it’s in other aspects of lives – oh, hooey – for both aspects of life – smooching and economics are intricately related. The idea that they are separate is the very idea that gay men, Democrats all, (well, no, but it seems,) and Tea Party folks, (for liberty, sometimes,) both say yes too – that economics and smooching are related for gay folks – but then …

but then … refuse to even contemplate the concept that heterosexual smooching and economics has anything to do with anything else.

So, for Tea Party and Gays, smooching and economics are separate when it comes to heterosexuals –

and are linked when it comes to gays.

I find the similarity of thoughts disturbing, frankly.

Still, such it is. And this I argue incessantly – economics and sissy smooching are so unrelated that it appalls me when I see anyone conflate the two.

But me, I love a Tea Party in any sense – liberty I tell you – less government, more fun. Less government interference into the lives of citizens. And less police interference into sissy smooching. Egad, I’m consistent. But by modern rhetoric my modern Gay buddies want to keep liberty for gays, but restrict economics, and my modern Tea Party buddies want to keep liberty for economics, but restrict gays.

And yet, at the same time, as I say, they want the same thing – government out of the lives of people, and a government that recognizes the reality of individuals and liberty in these here United States.

Yes, Gay Men and Tea Party folks – what a strange set of bedfellows, eh? Keep your hands to your side of the bed, please.

 

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2 Comments

  1. I think economic enterprise should be free but should respect the law and rhe right of others. Deregulation on financial speculation largely caused the current crisis. Just as sexual freedom is not freedom to abuse, economical freedom is not freedom to financial piracy and fraud.

  2. how sad,for the log cabin republican, and go proud tea party gays,their anti gay, anti women mitt romney lost, but evon worst, is the loss of one of the most homophbic,anti abortion fanatic paul ryan, deep down republican gays hate the fact that they were born gay, so they support anti gay politicians, and of course they ramble on about the mythology that republican, tea party facist are good at the econamy, just ask any billionare, but four yeas from now, a new homophobic republican candidate will come forth, and log cabin repubs,and go proud will be in hog heaven.

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