This gay guy agrees with Eugene Delgaudio about “radical homosexuals.”
I was quite surprised today to receive an email from two-job Eugene Delgaudio – one job is a Loudoun County Virginia Supervisor and the other as “Public Advocate of the United States.” Well, such an important man, being the public advocate of the entire nation. And as a citizen of these United States I felt I should take an interest in what he has to say.
And he informs me thus: “Apparently Obama is secretly planning to saturate the federal government with radical homosexuals, by bowing to the demands of the Homosexual Lobby and appointing the transgender Amanda Simpson to the Department of Commerce.
Having served on the Board of Directors for two national organizations (Out & Equal and National Council for Transgender Equality), both extensions of the Homosexual Lobby, Simpson is an outspoken and clearly radical advocate of the Homosexual Agenda.”
He goes on, and on, and on some more, about the “radical homosexual agenda.” Well, I dare say that this gay man is equally concerned that any “radical homosexuals” might take over our country! Let no man or woman say I am for “radical homosexuals” taking over the nation.
And I dare say, what with 35 years of going to gay bars and gay festivals and gay events and such, and barely having 1/3 of my friends as heteros, (excluding my rather large two-country family comprising almost a 100 individuals, 60 here, and 40 in the Czech Republic, of which exactly 100% do not at all think I’m trying to attack their/our/my family or any traditional values we might hold; which, being bilingual and bi-national, I dare say is quite a few – (chcete uzeny maso, zale a knedlicky pro vanoce, Pan Delgaudio? That’s traditional Christmas feast fare, for sure. My grandmother taught me to cook it, in Czech, I’m good at it) – I don’t, however, know any “radical homosexuals.” I’ve asked m friends, they seem to know no “radical homosexuals” either, I’m sorry.
And look, here’s much more about Mr. Delgaudio warning us of the “radical homosexuals”:
My, my, I am concerned. And nothing like a “secret plan” involving the open appointment of a transgendered person to help out with oh, transgendered persons issues, such as they have them, at the Commerce Department. (full disclosure: I’m on record, repeatedly, for calling for the abolition of the Commerce Department.)
I’m a little perplexed about transgendered people, I do admit, much to my gay friends’ dismay – for to me, they are heterosexuals in the wrong body – and that guys claim they are really girls, who want guys. They are guys who want to change their gender to gal, and go get married to some guy. Beats me; but there you have it. So you will have to ask them. I know one, exactly one, transgendered person, and she doesn’t like me, I can tell you that. Why, even Chaz Bono, after becoming a guy, went and sought a hetero gal – which sounds to me, very heterosexual and not at all part of any “radical homosexual agenda,” but I could be confused.
There’s just one other problem, though – and it’s a rather big one. I don’t seem to know any “radical homosexuals” either.
All I know is gay guys who want to smooch in peace, with the love of our own friends and family surrounding us, and a government not after us, run our businesses or keep our jobs, and pay our taxes, do our laundry and go shopping, and also to serve our nation and our economy in harmony and loving embrace. Here, look, we supposedly have a $700 Billion dollar a year economic impact – I don’t know if it’s true – the studiers of these things put so many qualifications into the mix that it is hard to tell if they’re just guessing or extrapolating from so many incomplete studies and vague surmises about other studies – but, sure, I’ll go with it – so, we’re a big chunk of the economy, maybe:
And I know hundreds of gay couples who want to get married and settle down behind a picket fence, and join the neighborhood garage sale and Fourth of July barbecue – though technically, I know millions of such people, for I dare say I know my gay people; I’m quite the news hound and examiner of the subject. One should read the comments at the “Joe My God” site to get a flavor of our small town Christian American values.
Here, an example: for even yesterday I was at a barbecue in Marksville, Louisiana, a small traditional values town I would conclude (except the wife swapping and divorce that’s going on, but hey …) and the 20 people there just were tickled pink with all my jokes and asides and commentary on “radical homosexuals” attempting to take over our nation. They thought you were crazy too, but hey, they’re just good Christian Americans, rednecky even, who stick up for the rights of All Americans, including their favorite Hlavac, yours truly.
And so, sir, I wonder, could you identify any “radical homosexual” for me – so that I might disabuse him or her of the notion of taking over the government – for we are, supposedly, my many counts (though always ridiculously under-reported lest the menace seem too large, of course,) only 2,491,034 – and I dare say, the combined government officials, elected, appointed and civil service, not to mention police, military and homeland security, is somewhere in the dangerous 10,000,000 level. Why, even if every single one of us was hired by Obama, we’d still only be 1/3 of the total; which, if voting is to be done, 2 to 1 against us every time.
So I want to put you at ease and point out that “radical homosexuals” exist only in your own mind – and that real live gay people are tax paying, family loving, God-fearing Americans who pay several billions in taxes while holding jobs and owning homes.
Have a pleasant day, and sleep easier this evening.
But do, please, keep sending me your emails, so that I might keep my wary eye on the “radical homosexual agenda” pushed the nefarious “homosexual lobby” – when they’re not busy rampaging through the streets dressed as either “pirates” or in “bright neon Speedos.”
PS, I went to the big gay pride parade in New York City this past June 27th, 2011. I wore jeans, a button down shirt, and sensible shoes – though I did have on my Batman underwear, which I purchased at Target, another place apparently taken over by the “radical homosexuals.” The only “pirates” I saw were on the Captain Morgan’s Rum float, for they know their customers, those rascals. And I counted, out of roughly 1.5 million people, some 50 in Speedos, maybe a 100 – they’re called “cheerleaders” by the way – and very much equivalent to the leotard pubescent girls paraded down America’s streets during sundry 100s of other parades, and with pompoms and batons too! Quite a thing, though, to see those scantily clad girls seducing America’s menfolks through the nefarious “Radical Heterosexual Lobby” to promote the “heterosexual agenda.” I’m appalled.
Smooch in peach sir, smooch in peace. But keep me informed. Thanks.
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