Yes, but they’re considering a law against me, not you.

The only reason I keep bringing up the gay thing is because there are people in the Republican Party who want to – get a load of this – they want to outlaw gay people! Are they serious? Well, they appear to be; they sure say it often enough – they must be believed, I would think. And so I wonder, what will be the effect of this wondrous new law? Indeed, because they can’t get it at the state level much, seems they’re going to go for the federal gusto. You know, for smaller government, limited government, and liberty too – they shall send the police state against us.

For these Republicans – and not a few Democrats mind you, NY state senator Ruben Diaz comes to mind – hell, he is quite comfortable with “gays are worthy of death”! – these people are quite sure that we are destroying you heterosexuals by our mere existence. And that if only there was a law against our cuddling and smooching the divorce rate would plummet and nary a man would beat his wife again. Surely that’s the claim by people like Bryan Fischer of the ill-named “Americans for Family Values.” This man is on the radio airwaves near daily calling for my incarceration. As if this will solve any problem under the sun, except his obsession with my smooching.

And Peter Sprigg of the oddly named “Family Research Council,” which has yet to find a gay person in a family in nearly 30 years, which means they could not be researching families very much at all, is quite sure that a law is required to protect 300,000,000 heterosexuals from what? 20 million or less gay folks? So dangerous are we, this man thinks, and states constantly, even daily, that only our removal from society will help you poor heterosexuals who can’t survive with us hanging around. Why, he advises nearly every single Republican contender for president to quickly get a law passed and the round up begin.

For surely if they get the law – and who knows if they could? – they will want it enforced, no? Or is the law there just to be sort of “screw you fag” and nothing done about it? Given that more than a few of these people have openly called for the closing of gay bars – Linda Harvey of some weird church that speaks to candidates comes to mind – it seems they mean business. Will they get away with it? Will mayors of cities across this nation allow the gay bars to be closed? I doubt it, but one never knows, does one?

How strict will the new law be? Will it ban our websites and our newspapers so we can’t communicate with each other? Or will they permit the conspiracy to destroy America – which they think we’re doing – continue? Will it order any “roommates” (wink, wink,) to immediately separate? Will it automatically reduce every gay union and marriage in the nation to mere written words – simply annul the marriages? Will it summarily dissolve them? Will a notice be sent to each couple: “You are no longer a couple, get away from each other!”?

One wonders how crazy such a law could be – but given the statements by people like Frank Turek of the Orwellian named “national organization for marriage” – though being very against ours – that we’re mere turnips and not to be regarded as people even, but sick and dangerous and malicious folks, I could imagine the law being pretty crazy indeed. Perhaps they’ve already got one written, ready to submit at a moment’s notice.

There’s a “Values Summit” coming up – where the main “value” will be to try to get the Republican nominee – which could be anyone of the bunch at this point, and all of them scheduled to appear – to sign a pledge against allowing gay folks to wander around the nation. These people – Tony Perkins, also of the hypocritically named “Family Research Council” is a ring leader of the NO GAYS! Movement, and leader of this summit too – are quite sure, and do publicly proclaim, that I’m a “domestic terrorist” – one does round up the terrorists, no? Or do you just let us wander around in a sullen funk? Hmm; nah, they’re calling for incarceration.

It’s going to be fun to listen to John Boehner argue in court that we have just tons of political power, so much so that his own party is contemplating outlawing us and arresting us. Why, the man and this Paul Clement fellow are so delusional – not only because they are defending DOMA, which is simply indefensible – but are claiming that gay folks have all the power in the world to stop their own party from passing a law against us. Perhaps he means to put us to the test.

Then there’s the practical considerations – could such a law be written and passed? It’s almost ludicrous to think it could be, but stranger things have happened in our crazy Congress of late. Would Americans call in by the millions to the switchboard there and say “Are you out of your minds?” One would hope so; who knows though.

Would a federal judge, or several, immediately throw the law out as unconstitutional? I would think most would, given the Supreme Court precedent in Lawrence. That it took a court case to legally smooch still boggles my mind, but there you have it.

Yes, well, nothing so concentrates the mind as being told you’ll be outlawed in two years (apologies to Dr. Johnson.) What am I to say? Nothing? Well, Maggie Gallagher sure thinks so – indeed, she’s now on record – this unwed mother of a gay son (well, he works in theater in New York, I mean, com’n now, get real,) – as pretty much saying that any defense by gay people by ourselves or any other is basically an attack on her religion. She’s quite sure that her religion is the pure one, and we’re nothing but muddying the waters – and if only we’d shush she’d be able to save the nation from us.

It’s a rather strange discussion to be having; one that heterosexual friends of mine are rather clueless about. For they, rightly, just don’t even think about me or my boyfriend. Still, the forces for NO GAYS! meet regularly, raise millions of dollars, put out book after book, and do proclaim themselves saviors of the planet through than plan for sissy stomping.

That they think we are the lynchpin of it all perhaps goes to show how crazy they are; but still, Maggie is the one in the capitol building telling Boehner all about the horrors I present – and Mr. Boehner seems ill disposed to talk to a one of us.

And what will we do? Will we go back into the closet? Hahahaha! No, we will not. Will we riot? Perhaps. But I think a better course of action, should the politicians go utterly bonkers and listen to the “family values” people, would be simply to demand to be arrested. By the millions. My My, where would they put us all?




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