I’m a man of many “obsessions” (& Self-defense too)

I have heard concerns that I’m “obsessed” with a certain subject: “gay” -hahaha! Nothing could be further from the truth. Let’s see. What am I “obsessed” with? Hmm, castles, yes, castles; I just love those things. Why, I would like to own one. I’ve been to at least 3 dozen, and would like to go visit many more. I even read a book or two every month on the topic. Plus, Medieval history, and kings and queens galore; yes I find the period between 800 and 1500 absolutely “obsessively” fascinating. I do think I could give a rather book length round up of the subject.

I’m “obsessed” with piano playing, to the point of wanting to play for 5 and 6 hours a day; which I have done – which is quite an “obsession” indeed. Though one can hardly think of another thing while choosing which black or white key I must plunk or strike to create my music. I even make money at it! Look, here’s me playing:

My my, look at me concentrate; yes, and “obsession” indeed.

I’m “obsessed” with the Czechs & Slovaks of Louisiana, to the point of once spending 8 hours a day, for weeks on end, in the Rapides Parish courthouse going through nearly 900 property records; as well as 2,000 other sources, so that I could write a book on the subject. I give lectures and presentations on the subject too, quite “obsessively.” Not to mention Czech history, and the language too, and the entirety of the culture; yep, quite “obsessed.”

And Spanish, so I can enjoy Mexico better; and I’m “obsessed” with Mazatlan, that’s for sure. I’m “obsessed” with skyscrapers, yes; I can give a run down of all the world’s skyscrapers. And all her big bridges too. I can even give a fair account of the history of every nation on earth; for I’m “obsessed” with history; and have a rather good memory for it. I’m “obsessed” too with my family; to the point that I’m the family historian (and in need of going through 10 big boxes of photos and papers to find out exactly what it is all about.) Not to mention calling all my many aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, parents, etc, here and in the Czech Republic too. Yes, quite “obsessed” with my family; and they with me, come to think of it, for that’s what family does: worry about each other, yes?

I’m “obsessed” with mazes. Oh yes; I paint them; I give them away and sell them, and will put a maze onto anything. Here’s a few examples; and let me tell you, when one is painting a maze one can think of little else; for all the lines do have to work, you know. They’re quite detailed as you can see.

And here’s a strange one:

I’m “obsessed” with my garden; and I must be for I have nearly 200 species of flora blooming up a storm. They need care and attention, and of course, just staring at them each day as they grow and bloom and carry on their riot of life and color. And I got quite a collection of lizards, toads, butterflies, bugs, bees and birds hanging around enjoying it too. I have sometimes “obsessively” watched a hummingbird flit to every flower and take a peek at me before apparently concluding I’m no threat. For I stand still, and let it flit. And if hummingbirds are not afraid of me, I should think little else should be either, but I can be silly.

With all these “obsessions” – most of which I make money at, for they are my jobs (almost anything to avoid a real job, I assure you,) – I even set up a website: www.creativeintellectual.com -yes, an entire website of “obsessions” – which is also just called life. I lead a life. I have a rather fascinating life, as many friends are surprised to discover with yet another of my little vignettes. I do things, I go places, I buy and sell, and I joke my way through it in ways that many people find quite hysterical. I can make someone laugh from 20 yards away; just by calling out some absurdity nearby. Still, not so strangely, on my website the “g” word does not appear. Why should it? I’m not “obsessed” with it.

But there are people OBSESSED with gay folks; horribly obsessed. I imagine, though I can’t be sure, they are obsessed with me personally. Though in some weird abstract way, for they don’t know me from Adam. Hell, they don’t know Adam either. In fact, near as I can figure; these people OBSESSED with gay folks don’t seem to actually know any. So fearful of me, and us, I presume them to be, that they do everything they can to actively avoid talking to a blessed one of us (though that must be hard to do for we are everywhere, no?) I think this makes it easier for them to publish and pronounce the mush they do. For it is awfully hard to castigate someone constantly for mere existence when you actually know the guy.

But no, you want to see OBSESSION? Take a look at Tony Perkins, Maggie Gallagher, Bryan Fischer, Jennifer Morse, and so many others it’s hard to count. These people wake up in the morning raring to go to work to defeat my evil agenda to have a nice day with people who actually know me. Indeed; there’s a whole industry out there in America that says I’m “obsessed” with what could charitably be called “homoSEXuality.” But I got to laugh at this; for I’m not the one making a living off of the subject. I’m not the one writing brochures, assembling powerpoint presentations, putting out fliers, giving speeches, and raising money to do it all again the next day.

I take a peek each day at the daily onslaught of slander and libel; one must, if one is rational. For it is ultimately a matter of self-defense. With which I am obsessed with, to some degree, yes? Wouldn’t you be? When it comes down to it, I’m not paranoid – these people are out to get me. They are vocal about it. They speak to politicians daily of my life which they know nothing about. Why, even presidential candidates speak of making my life a felony, and arresting me, and incarcerating me, and somehow forcing a cure upon me. And who knows, maybe Santorum will win. Now there’s a guy obsessed with gay folks. Why, he’s so obsessed that he wants a law that will take me from my productive life with friends and family, and put me in the pokey so that I cause no menace – which he is quite sure exists.

I suppose the big menace I present is that I take care of an 89 year old dying man. Geez, the utter horrors! And he’s gay too! Oh my! What is the world coming to when people help people!

Still, I must be “obsessed” with this assault upon me; for it is not rational. And who knows what these people will do or say next? They are crafty people; making up wonderful fictions and fabrications in an effort to wreck my nerves and remove me from society if they had the chance. They are quite insistent that my mere presence on a supermarket line buying groceries might be perilous to the nation, for I may espy a hottie, and give him glance, and go my way. These people, of the alleged “values coalition” have but one “value” they worry about – me. I’m the peril to their measly miscreant lives of delusion. I’m the thorn in their side because they think I exist as some cardboard cutout ready to do battle with society and wreck the place.

And I just pity these people already. Are they really this crazed? Why does anyone listen to their incessant obsession with my life? I find it puzzling. I think I shall go obsess in my garden. Which is where I composed this little bit in my mind in well under 5 minutes, and took 15 to write it and proof it, and now I can get on with my day, as these political hussies OBSESS over whether I might smooch a sissy and the world come tumbling down. They are sad sacks; they should find some other hobby; perhaps pick up a second language, play piano, paint mazes and take care of an elderly gentleman. You know, something productive. And now I’m going to get busy with my life; and ignore them, to the degree I can, in the hope that they get no police power to come to my home.


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