2012: Behold, America’s Big Gay Election

Yes, 2012: Behold, America’s Big Gay Election. What a hoot.

Well, well, it seems this coming presidential election will have lots and lots of questions about gay people asked of every single candidate; at every level of government, too. Not a campaign stop, news conference, photo op, or debate will be without the question – “What about the gays?” It should be “What do you want to say nice about our gay citizens and taxpayers, to get their votes?” for the import of the reality, but I’m always a rascal on these things. It shouldn’t be about whether to recognize the reality of existence, but it’s going to be. It’s a debate about rocks, for heaven’s sake. Still, in Iowa just the other night, there they were, discussing rocks and how they were going to all make sure the rocks don’t get a moment’s rest from being called “the gravest threat to civilization ever.” I can’t go to the internet, a newspaper, or a Facebook group without this subject being discussed – in the most abstract way, even.

And we will all hear astounding mush, along with prevarication about past statements, some faith based stuff about family, and how the fight against some abstraction called “homosexuality” will solve the nation’s troubles, if only we can prevent anymore of us, and get rid of the ones we got, I suppose. Why, we need a Constitutional Amendment! (Boy, talk about being special, eh? We’d get our own Amendment!) The Bill of Attainder like reality of that Amendment, which would abrogate thousands of marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships, and various & sundry legal realities – by being a law directed at a specific group of people, levy a penalty, and do so without any judicial proceeding — is apparently not apparent to these geniuses come to solve the nation’s gay problem.

It’s ludicrous, of course, this discussion is. And us gay folks will sit back, mostly, somewhat, and watch the charade, as we’ve done for some time now. And we wonder, what is the point of this discussion over a few million people who are rather peaceful and productive and would rather pursue our happiness without being a major topic of conversation? After all, politicians, and especially the president, are supposed to deal with reality, you know, like road paving, soaring deficits and defending the nation, not worrying sissy smooching.

Still, topic and worry we are. Oh well. Nice to be considered the lynchpin of society, for without us to complain about apparently the whole place will collapse and everyone die, perhaps. And there’s this fear, among these politicians, obfuscated in the telling, that saying anything nice about gay folks is somehow going to make everyone gay in a fortnight, I suppose, and no more children be born. For apparently, this “homosexuality” is such a sweet elixir that tens of millions of heteros are chomping at the bit to go gay once something nice is said. Trust me, we’re not that important, and no one not born gay is going to turn gay. It’s like saying something nice about left handed people will make everyone switch hands. Or saying something nice about autistic kids will lead everyone to go bang their head against a wall. Like I said, it’s ludicrous; but still that’s the import of this “don’t say anything nice about the gay citizens and taxpayers” concept roiling around the nation.

There’s also the fear that saying something nice about gay folks will somehow make gay citizens and taxpayers feel like we have a part in this nation (which we already have proven pretty solidly that we do) – and are not some dangerous element out to destroy the place. On purpose even, it is said, by some. And indeed, particularly among the more looney, there are many direct statements that to Not hound, harass and harangue gay people at every turn and moment will indeed cause some societal upheaval of unprecedented and unexplained proportions. Something always vague about children belong in hetero marriages and the sanctity of until divorce do they part.

Well, yes, I suppose they do; children are best off in perfect families, and weirdly, many gay folks come right from those perfect families, against all odds apparently. For the concept is that gay folks cannot come from perfect families. No, we only come from “broken” families, and are “broken” ourselves, which is odd – for one would think then, that with all the broken families of this nation there would be tens of millions of gay kids around, and with us being so broken we might not be able to function in our “dysfunction” just so darn good anyway.

On the other hand, from what I can gather, few gay marriages will wind up with children. Indeed, the chief complaint about us is that we will make no babies. We do, though, apparently, adopt the ones no heteros seem to want to adopt. And we’re doing it right now without gay marriage or recognition of the gay couples whatsoever. One would think that without gay marriage gay couples wouldn’t exist to adopt the kids no one wants, if the truth be told, right? Or again, is the recognition of the reality staring you in the face so horrible that the gay couples who are actually adopting the kids no hetero wants is really so terrible for the kids? You know, let’s keep those kids in public orphanages, where, supposedly, they’ll be safe from the clutches of decent people making a living and contributing to their town and state. For the kids will grow up gay! Which is funny, because all the gay folks seemed to have grown up in fine hetero families.

Though, too, heteros might get married and have no kids, or have kids but abort them before the first cry, or have kids and give them away; or beat them senseless, kill them, starve them, or be the bestest parents on planet earth. All these happen with heteros and their children; isn’t that what so much of the social ills of broken families are? But in the real world, those broken families, unmarried mothers, childless couples, and good or bad parents, don’t produce any more or less gay folks than has been produced in every society on earth since the dawn of time. One would think, that if something keeps showing up like a bad penny, so consistently, planet-wide, we might then conclude that it’s rather real and of no major import, no?

And heteros are often quite good at having kids without “marriage” of anything more than a moment’s genitalia bliss. So what gay marriage would do to anything heteros do or not do is not only not clear, there’s absolutely nothing in any shred of logic or train of thought which could possibly indict gay folks for what goes on among heteros. We simply have nothing to do with it. So in a sense, all these people who go around talking about “marriage” and “kids” and “family” are right – that’s what heteros are all about, making sure that if they have kids, they do so in a happy family, treat the kids right and then send those kids off to the next generation to be themselves good parents. Rather simple. What do we have to do with it, whether our couples are granted an easier legal regime to conduct life’s business?

Weirdly, though, and so obviously it’s ridiculous, among the kids of this generation or that one, there’s a tiny percent who are autistic, a tiny percent who have Downs, or some other congenital birth condition – and lo, here we come, right there alongside all the other people of the nation who are not as wonderful and perfect as, say, Tony Perkins and Rick Santorum think they are. Why, even good Catholics like Santorum wind up with a gay kid in the family; ask Cardinal George of Chicago. Why, he’s got a “fine man” of a gay nephew, who is also an “evil homosexual.” And to be fine and evil at the same time is quite a feat. I don’t think it’s possible to have an extended family over three generations without at least one gay person. Somehow, we keep showing up. Why, I bet even Tony Perkins got a gay guy somewhere in his family.

But no one goes around saying that any other congenital birth condition is a threat to the nation; for everyone seems to recognize that it is indeed, just a tiny percent. And so everyone is nice to those other tiny bunches of different sorts of people born that way – and yet, we still face the strange conundrum that so many simply just will not get real and realize that well, yes, there’s another tiny bunch of people not quite the perfect Adam & Eve of paradise (I have heard those two weren’t exactly perfect either.) And so they go earn a living trying to destroy us, like the “good Christians” they proclaim themselves to be, like Pharisees at the temple door. And politicians who want to be my leader are worried I’m a threat; and they want my vote!

No, we get lumped in with the murderers who take lives, except – well, except even mass murderers and serial murderers can get married. Weirdly, only 5% or less of mass murderers are gay. Strange, that. We got Dahmer and Gacy, you heteros got the rest of them. Not to mention your garden variety shooters who take out their families, the neighbors and anyone standing around in a restaurant, or wherever the long line of hetero killers go stalk their prey. But we’re not doing it; we’re mostly gun shy.

No, we get lumped in with terrorists who kill by the thousands, because, well, because we might open a hair salon and tend the blue hair ladies of the town, or perhaps we set up a curio shop or interior design studio. The horrors of what we do are right up there with blowing up shopping malls and pizza shops and plowing airplanes into tall towers, I’m told. Yet, to be called a “domestic terrorist” is so weird, so otherworldly, that I wonder why anyone would listen for a moment to such drivel without saying “Sir, you are out of your ever lovin’ mind.” But no, there are all the GOP hopefuls proudly taking in the sage advice of a group that more or less wants to spend a trillion dollars rounding up all the gay folks and exporting us, because, you know, we’re “domestic terrorists.” Me, I just wrote a few books and play the piano; what a threat to civilization I am, indeed.

We’re told by these good politicians that we are against family, anti-family and family wreckers, as we make sure the flowers are fine for the weddings, clear the tables at the wedding banquet halls, make sure the clothes are designed and everyone has a Broadway show to go to when they get to New York or the local little theater. Yes, nothing says home destroyer and family wrecker than Ralph down at the SuperCuts making sure little Johnny has his locks cut just like Dad wants them done before going home to his own Johnny.

So it’s the strange disconnect between the reality, and what is said about some amorphous horror that is so weird. “Oh no, there’s queers!” And well, yes, doh! Ironically, these politicians are like a bunch of ninny prissy sissies when it comes to um, sissies. And along the way, we’re told we’re obsessed with sex and gayness – as we’re discussed endlessly by heteros who are very obsessed with us, and fret and worry and freak out and require laws and Constitutional Amendments to protect their hetero bliss from the gay folks paying taxes. Then, when we say something, like, “Oh, stop the condemnation” we’re told we’re “whiny” – Why, yes, I suppose it is my place in life to listen to creeps tell me that I’m “sick” “evil” “depraved” “dysfunctional” and Lord knows what else, besides being out to destroy civilization and family and society because I have this nefarious agenda to save the planet by getting rid of all the people – and I’m supposed to sit back and listen, and not say a word, lest reality get in the way of this mush and I taint the proceedings. Yah, right. What else do I have to talk about, except being talked about?

Still, from now until 2012, what an election season we shall have! It’s going to be a wonder to behold. With every politician in the land now having to declare themselves yea or nay on reality. The questions being: – are you for stopping the unending harassment and stupidity, illogical crap and utterly fabricated false charges about gays – or are you finally going to say something nice about the couple down the block who wins the community’s “best garden” award? Are you for making it a little easier to do all that legal and tax stuff gays do anyway – or are you going throw impediments in their way so as to deny them the right to pursue happiness? Should they be left alone or hounded?

Speak up folks, don’t be shy. Be clear. Don’t confuse the issue of gays by talking about how heteros should be perfect, and would be if only there were no gays. Come now; your asking for my vote – are you with me or against me? Or like the idiot in the White House, merely “evolving” on the issue?

Yes, America, it’s time for a fairy tale for fairies:







  1. ted

    The debates are going to feature endless queries about queeries, dearies. Why? Because the liberal media believes it is the area Republicans can be ridiculed the most. Never mind that the democrats are not doing anything but lip service, never mind that republicans are joining with democrats to get legislation passed for equality, Never mind that there are fair minded republicans running. The question should not be “do you believe in gay marriage”, when many people do not believe in straight marriage. the question should be ” for those people who wish to protect their families, insure inheritance rights, and be treated as any other citizen of these united states, allowing them to pursue happiness in their own right as gay individuals, what do you propose we do to ensure their equality with all other citizens.?”


  1. 2012: Behold, America's Big Gay Election « The Daily Mush | MyGaySpot
  2. 2012: Behold, America's Big Gay Election « The Daily Mush | MyGaySpot

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