Free Speech versus Decent Speech

The difference between free speech and decent speech is broad.

There is indeed an absolute right for anyone to say what they wish. This I know. Even if I don’t like it. There is also a limit to such “free” speech when it crosses over to some mind numbing mush. Not that it should be outlawed. No. Nor declared hate speech. I don’t think so. But rather it is to be put into the realm of the loon. And while a loon has the right to bray, I suppose; it is incumbent on the rest of us to bring the person to counseling or therapy or even the police if they go too far.

I don’t want to squelch anyone’s right to say stuff – I want decency to prevail and such speakers to be shunned by decent people. People also known as my friends and fellow citizens. My friends like me to the degree they do – and I’m happy for that. So does my family like me. I’m me; anyone who knows me either likes me a lot or a little or not at all.

But they are decent about it. Those who can’t handle me avoid me with polite hellos at parties and continue to some other clique. Those who like me gather round to hear what I might say. And there’s nothing wrong with this. You don’t have to like everyone. You don’t have to like anyone; be a hermit curmudgeon for all I care.

But then there is decency. And decency is something like “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it.” Or “treat others as you wish to be treated.” Or “Live and let live.” Or “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Or “Go in peace fellow American.” Or “let us agree to disagree.” There are perhaps many other ways to express it, or not express it. And make your reality as Jim free as you wish and avoid me. But if there is a public forum, as there is at – then I reserve the right to be heard on divers subjects. Most particularly those that affect me. Oh, I well realize that there’s many opinions yet on this amorphous thing called “homosexuality” – what it is I really don’t know. But I reserve the right to just make fun of anyone who deigns to make fun or nasty with it or at me.

Oh, I call it sissy smooching for the fun of it, but it’s not really one big thing. What it is, is millions of individuals who are different by the grace of God. And what we don’t want to hear is what a commentator with the charming name, ScratchnSniff, said to me:

Hey Jim, I’m a staunch Conservative and I don’t hate you. I loathe your very existence! The next time the planet stops, get off and stay off would ya? (not meant in the foul way you’re thinking)

Not accusing you of being a democrat, but I am accusing you of being a sick, degenerate who would like nothing more than to see an end to our tradtional [sic, must have been really angry] ways.

Don’t tell these folks what to put on their blog. [which I certainly never do] They can talk about the silly FAGGOTS all they like. [and they certainly do; I have no effect in that department, barely a day goes by with out a gay post.]

Jim, give it up. As much as you want to believe you are normal and that your life has meaning as a cock sucker. It doesn’t. You’re sick. Get treatment. A lobotomy if need be. Dude…er…whatever…you make me sick. And no, I’m not saying that because I’m in the closet. I’m saying that because, and let me be clear, YOU MAKE ME SICK!

Nothing personal.”

Now here’s a lady who knows – wait, it might be a gentleman, well, no, not a gentleman at all, but something a tad more cruder. Of course, so strong of self is this human that it hides behind a weird name of “scratchnsniff” and I think – is that an invitation? No, I think it’s a she. I don’t know why. I just do. No man ever spoke to me that way. But several women to whom I did not return attention were quite not nice; something they always said about me being a “faggot” for not wanting to date them. Well, yes, I suppose. But hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, I’m told. So I think it’s a lady like that. She says “dude er whatever” and I think – “Jim” is not often confused as a woman’s name – and my picture is quite clear, beard and all. So perhaps she’s also blind. Poor thing.

But she tells me “you make me sick” and I wonder why? What did I do? Wake up in the morning? I guess. And “You’re sick.” Which is funny, because I don’t feel ill. But now, because I do wake up in the morning, and I do comment on the constant gay stuff at IOTW I guess both she and I are now sick. I think the symptoms of my sickness is exhibited in nastiness is this lady. Which is always the case – gayness seems to just do the weirdest things to straights. They go apoplectic and say this sort of stuff. And they’re sick, because I’m “sick” in some weird symbiotic way that I’ve never grasped. That the article to which this fine lady said this to me was about the Democrats having another anti-gay thing in the Bronx is all the more enlightening for the lady would then seem to be a Democrat, I guess, though a “conservative” one with some rather radical proposals.

But regardless of what she actually says – I wonder why she says it? Why would someone say this to someone else? To a person whom they don’t know? Or barely know, through the Internet. To a complete an utter stranger, in effect, like on an airline, with a little chatter to make the time go by. Would Scatchnsniff say this to me if she met me on an airplane? That’s always been my conundrum. I wish to speak nice to people, and people then say the darnedest things. I mean really, I should get a “lobotomy”? The woman already says I’m crazy – what would removing part of my brain have to do with it? Or how could it help? I’d just stumble around and be gay and grab guys instead of taking them to dinner and a movie first. And she’d pay the disability, for I would be able to do whatever it is I do that makes my life meaningless in her eyes. She has never heard my piano music, I don’t think.

And then she says too that I see to “end our traditional ways.” Well, I do say. Which traditions? Christmas pudding? Do I want to tear down all the mistletoe? Perhaps I want to stomp Easter eggs and tell the kids not to wear Halloween costumes? Or maybe she thinks I want to tear down the flag and put up a stocking instead or something. I don’t know. It’s lunacy in a way. Or maybe, just maybe, she thinks I want to “end our traditional ways” of calling gay people “sick” and recommending lobotomies to cure what she think ails me. Which, then, yes, that’s a “tradition” I could do without. Still, traditions change, sometimes, slowly. Like the tradition of oh, say, keep women as property and never letting them vote and quiet on the hustings because it’s men’s work. Yes, I suppose some traditions do need some reconsidering.

Weirdly, if there wasn’t all this constant drumbeat about how gays are the end of the world or something then she wouldn’t ever have to hear about us. And she can still pretty much stay clear of us, though, not totally. For we are in the darnedest places – like everywhere. I’m going to see a gay guy on a flight in two weeks or so – and I won’t say a word about the reality which I see – and no one else will either – and politeness will prevail. But I think if we’re on the plane together, ScratchnSniff is alas going to have to be decent, or perhaps be taken off the plane by some other gay guy who also didn’t get a lobotomy.

Still, some people don’t think things through. Perhaps she’s had a lobotomy, or a blow to the head. Or some nice gay guy jilted her and she would up with her current husband. I wish her well; though. But I wish her decency the more. Thanks, darling, for giving me the opportunity to make example of you. Smooch.

But let’s not get go all crazy, OK?

Here, ma’am – a picture for you, to calm your nerves, of a man with a pussy in his face:



  1. Very well said…this is a great post


  2. I complete agree with the sentiments Hlavac expresses so well above. I’m a straight, hardcore conservative and I simply don’t understand the anger and “sickness” some people feel when confronted with homosexuality. But no matter what you feel, civility in expressing yourself shouldn’t be too much to ask.

    Additionally, in these political times I’d certainly like to see more Gay (or black, or hispanic, or female) conservatives welcomed to our ranks.

  3. Annie

    Well said, Jim. I also don’t understand such an explosive reaction to something that doesn’t affect the commenter personally. I wonder how many people would have the guts to be so needlessly, breathtakingly hostile without the anonymity the internet provides.

    • The Homophobophobe

      It affects them personally because they choose to let it affect them personally.

      On the other hand, we gays have no choice in the matter.

      And the right to speak is a right, but not a requirement.

  4. Reiuxcat

    How bizarre. They leave that hateful crap up there and yet bust on me for on contributor’s obsession with body types that don’t fit her norm.

    I’m fortunate the folks I like have found me else where. And that includes the author of this blog!

  5. My god people are cracked out crazy…I sometimes cant help but laugh when i hear remarks like the above. and my owns sometimes included.I am in agreement with my buddy Raulito, great post!

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