Whom does Lemon Aid?

Don Lemon “comes out” and I wonder …

The article where I learned of this guy is: “CNN Don Lemon’s Coming Out – And He Discusses an Oft Overlooked Discrimination”

“by BigFurHat” a guy whom I have a good amount of conversation with.

“Don Lemon is coming out in his new book, Transparent. Ho hum. Big deal. Let’s get to why I posted this.” (And here’s the article itself: http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=75633&cpage=1#comment-437999

And here’s an eerily similar article; parallel in parts and vastly different in others, but still similar:

And since I’m dissecting Big, here’s what I sent him:

You’ll be intrigued perhaps by some weird parallels of your “ho hum, big deal” on the Lemon nonsense — at: http://www.queerty.com/celebrity-outing-turns-out-to-be-cnns-don-lemon-do-you-care-20110516/comment-page-2/#comment-448154

It’s ho hum, big deal mostly there too — and the same wonder at the black-gay contretemps and what is Lemon’s problem? — (and I’m absolutely torturing the pro-dem /anti-tea party gay sites with the Democrat Ruben “gays worthy of death” Diaz march in the Bronx — they’re in a liberal tizzy over it, I can tell you — and your birthday post to me is such cool ammo, thanks for that! — man bites dog –> Tea Party gives gay guy well wishes and long life, Democrats call for his death; weird eh?)

Except the comments by readers are different, of course.” >> Still, to me, if we’re to look at the Lemon, and peel it and see if lemonade might be made, it’s fun to look at it from “both” sides – for something is awry of late with the common perception of exactly whom is for or against gay folks and for what reasons.

And I think, Big is right. “Ho hum Big deal.” Why exactly is Lemon doing this? What does this have to do with anything he does as a professional whatever he is? Why should it make a difference to anyone? There’s two sides to the coin on this take, though. One is it shouldn’t make a difference because one’s sexuality or sex life, or emotional life, or personal life, has nothing to do with reading the news or doing any job. There’s nothing “sex” anything in a job. One does what one does based on the skills one has and the career choice one made. And so, yah, it’s unimportant.

But it’s unimportant for a second reason, or “ho hum, big deal,” and that’s because there’s nothing in being gay that affects anything. So what if Lemon is? On the other hand, if he made reference to his boyfriend, as some newscasters do to their girlfriends or wives, people get riled up. Why? It has nothing to do with anything. He merely says “So my boyfriend Charlie and I were …” and gives the story. Just like he might say if he were straight, “So my wife Charlene and I were …” and everyone would be “ho hum, big deal.”

Alas, it still is a big deal to some that a guy might say he has a boyfriend (or more ideally, a spouse.) Such a big deal that the very topic still needs to be discussed, as evident by the post itself. The guy’s love live is more appropriate for People if he’s interesting enough, but it’s not “news” and has no bearing on his ability to do his job, even if it is only as a newscaster. But does Mr. Lemon thinks this somehow helps gay folks? I don’t know, maybe he does. It doesn’t really “help” us, I don’t think. What helps us is when he’s honest with his own family and friends, and if he felt he had to write a book about it all then perhaps he was not honest with his family and friends at all. I don’t know, but “coming out” is personal, not something for national TV while on your job. The two are unrelated. He should simply show up at the White House Correspondents dinner with his boyfriend and take their seats and let people see them as a couple.

That’s why I hate “coming out.” It presupposes something should be hidden, or should be secret. And no hetero “comes out.” And so why should gays? Me, I don’t say “I’m gay,” so much as I say “Hey, that’s a cute guy, do you know if he’s single and available? Perhaps I could meet him.” I don’t even use the word “gay” – but the question does send some folks into tizzies.

Even more to the point, a gay couple can’t just hold hands waiting on the movie line, or sit close together in a romantic restaurant. Why? Why is this such a big deal? Obviously it is to heterosexuals, or they wouldn’t be all up in arms about it. But gay guys, such as myself, whom are quite “out” to everyone we know, still has to “come out” to new people we meet – for they presuppose that I’m straight, even after I answer all the questions – “No, I’m not married, never have been, have no kids, no girlfriend, and yes I’m 53 years old.” And I still get a “What! You’re gay!” when the obvious is concluded. Why? Why is there this reaction and then some statement that I shouldn’t “flaunt it” or I should “hide it” or I shouldn’t “say” I was gay – when I said no such thing. I merely answered the questions honestly. That’s an issue for heterosexuals, not us. They’re the ones with the problem.

Then Big has some questions:

Let me start by asking a few questions.

What is the party affiliation of the majority of black people?

What party is considered to be the tolerant party?

How tolerant are black people of homosexuality?”

And this is exactly the point I make all the time. And not a-one of my liberal friends likes to discuss this. They avoid this issue like the plague. Just in the previous post I pointed out the obvious – a Democratic Party State Senator in New York came out (oh pun intended) as virulently anti-gay including allowing a preacher to say we’re “worthy of death” right there at a public protest filled with well, filled with obvious Democrats. Here in Baton Rouge the Democrats who are African-American Baptist preachers took out an ad in the local “Liberal” paper to denounce gay people – and the Democrats are our friends? I think not.

Then Big continues:

Don Lemon will tell you.

From the Slimes – [aka, the New York Times]

I’m scared,” he said in a telephone interview. “I’m talking about something that people might shun me for, ostracize me for.”

Even beyond whatever effect his revelation might have on his television career, Mr. Lemon said he recognized this step carried special risk for him as a black man.

It’s quite different for an African-American male,” he said. “It’s about the worst thing you can be in black culture. You’re taught you have to be a man; you have to be masculine. In the black community they think you can pray the gay away.” He said he believed the negative reaction to male homosexuality had to do with the history of discrimination that still affects many black Americans, as well as the attitudes of some black women.

You’re afraid that black women will say the same things they do about how black men should be dating black women.” He added, “I guess this makes me a double minority now.”

OK, that’s Lemon’s words in the Times – and well, he’s an idiot, obviously. And so is the reporter who wrote the story. Why would this have “beyond whatever effect his revelation” – wait a minute – why is this a “revelation” at all? That’s the problem, people still think this “reveals” some secret about us. There’s no reason to say one is gay or not gay, until the moment that someone asks if we’re married, or if we’d like to meet this girl or that in the available pool of fillies. Then you can say “No, but do you know a nice guy I could meet?” It should be so normal in this regard – not some “process” of “coming out” and “revealing” some deep dark secret. Heteros don’t, why should we? Well, I don’t, but I get in trouble a lot. Lost four jobs over it already, and a business, but hey, that’s because it is not “ho hum,” and it is a “big deal” to some heteros, and that’s not my fault.

But to say that the negative reaction to being gay from blacks is because of how whites in the past treated blacks is nuts. What reason does Uganda have for wanting to kill all the gays? What, because of English colonialism? Is that it? And what of the hatred of gays who are white? Is that because of black racism towards whites? Or because whites oppressed blacks? What of the situation 700 years ago when we were being burned on faggots – long before blacks had anything to do with whites. The whole premise he gives is nuts. I can’t really even follow any logic whatsoever. And Lemon whines about being a “double minority.” What discrimination does he experience in his presumably well paid job at CNN? Obviously, to have gotten where he is has experienced absolutely Zero discrimination whatsoever. He’s rich and successful, what’s his beef?

Then Big says:

As I say over and over again, progressives do not count minorities as a part of their tent when they discuss their own superior intellectualism and tolerance. Minorities are invisible to progressives. Once they pull the lever for statism they are ignored.”

And this I agree with – what “progress” have blacks made in America by government intervention? The poverty rate seems to be the same. Their unemployment rate is higher, the schools are horrendous, the inner city is dangerous, the crime and family destruction is legion among the black community, whatever that is.

And gays have been royally screwed by the Democrats. They had overwhelming majorities in both houses of Congress and the presidency for two years – they could have simply repealed DADT and DOMA in a heartbeat and been done with it. They did not. They didn’t even submit legislation on DADT until the last few weeks. Why? Could it be because it’s more fun for them to use us to get our votes for being “for us” and blaming bad Republicans for any problems? By dragging it out they merely cause us to vote for them. For if they had repealed both laws we’d be arguing $4 a gallon gas and the taxes and the deficit and not whether this party was “for us” when they are clearly not.

But over at Queerty there were much different comments than what appeared at I Own The World. That’s the astounding difference, which would require much more space to compare those two things.

But the two posters – IOTW & Queerty did have very similar reactions – does this really matter that Lemon came out? And the answer is pretty much the same – nope. And both point out the weirdness of the gay-black thing – for blacks are Democrats and despise us, and we’re supposedly Democrats – and the leaders of the party are mealy mouthed about this discordance in the big tent.

And this is what I put there at Queerty this morning:

>>How do we know that Lemon wasn’t out all along to everyone he knew? — which is out indeed. The only people he wasn’t out to were his viewers, whom he doesn’t know, and who could and should care less. Being gay has nothing to do with being a newscaster, that’s for sure. But what, are we all supposed to now get on TV and come out to the viewers or otherwise we’re still in the closet? I’m out, I don’t think I was ever even in, but the nation doesn’t know it, only those I know know it. And 53 and never married and a gentlemen friend is a clue, I’d say, without much prompting by an announcement that I’m coming out now. And those who I encounter new quickly find out — not through announcement “Um, I’m gay,” but simple statements like “Oh, look at that good looking guy.” And that’s that, I’m “out” all over again to some hetero who was blessedly clueless and now is shocked that I “came out!” Geez, the blind are limitless.

Lemon isn’t all of a sudden saying “I have been in the closet all this time and never did a gay darn thing in my life.” He’s been living quietly apparently, doing his job, getting ahead, and almost certainly being out to everyone he encountered that needed to know or could figure it out — single and 45 is a clue for most heteros; I’d say his mom knows too. Only now he’s done so in an announcement, like a commercial almost, to sell his book, and so that the world of CNN and news junkies know. And weirdly, to millions more Americans, and a good 100% of the rest of the world, he’s still in the closet or even non-existent.

And that’s the problem with celebrities “coming out.” Just be out, oh famous ones, and say “This is my hubby,” and quit the “oh, the torture of not being out!” while being out with all the people you know in your life. What, no one who knew Ricky Martin personally didn’t know? He was that closeted? And Lemon too? Give me a break. They were out, now they’re selling books on “outing” themselves to strangers. I’m not buying.>>

But what does it mean when a Tea Party site and a Gay Agenda site say similar things and ask similar questions and come to similar conclusions about something – while a Democrat rallies his troops on the steps of the Bronx County Courthouse and shouts gays are “worthy of death”? Perhaps a little strange political bed hoping is one solution. You know, “Don’t Tread on Us Either,” and let Lemon not have to come out at all.

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1 Comment

  1. ted

    NPR’s phony take on it was that his livelihood was endangered. Not by a long shot. CNN would never permit him to do that. they would replace him in a second. The CNN demographic also is comprised of tolerants. No danger there. Ultimately the surprise will not be in what we date but only in whom, as it is with heterosexuals.

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