Is Vander Plaats going to outlaw my donation to Iowa?

When I hear that a little man in Iowa named Bob Vander Plaats is so opposed to the existence of gay people that he proposes that we all die at the age of 41 I’m enraged. When I hear him say the most salacious things, I’m appalled. When I hear him attack me personally I’m pissed off beyond belief.

Here, first, let’s look at the chart which Vander Plaats uses as his basis for his “Facts.” Such delusion is not rare among the NO GAYS movement, and Bob is front and center in it.

Well, Bob, let me make it clear to you – I take it personally — your attacks on me and mine. This is not some political position. Nor is it some “agenda” or “promoting homosexuality.” You, sir, are a blatant idiot and you are attacking me – and I’m not happy. No, not at all.

Here’s a picture of the fine man, in full glory no doubt, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Vander_Plaats

And here’s a picture of me taken the same year —

They are taken the same year, nearly at the same time – and look at us – whom is the one closer to death?

And I’m five years older than this moron. And look – whom looks older? Truly. Oh, don’t spare the rod on me. Whom looks older? He or me? And again, I’m 5 years older than he is. And not only that, by his chart, which he gleefully uses – since I’m 52, a week away from 53 years of age – I’m 12 years BEYOND by life expectancy. How did I survive, Bob? What, did I make a pact with the Devil or something?

Here’s Bob on gay folks:

http://thinkprogress.org/2011/02/04/plaats-smoking

http://thinkprogress.org/2011/04/08/bob-vander-plaats-homosexuality-health-smoking

And I loath everything about Think Progress – for they’re socialists (and using gay folks to further their socialist agenda, but I can’t stop that either, I’m just a guy. There is no goodness for gay folks in Socialism – they shoot us too.)

The schmuck is born on April 12th, 1963 — and me in May 1958 – respect your elders Bob, respect us, respect me.

But more to the point. One day, soon, I don’t know when, I shall be in Iowa, close to Bob – helping his state do something good: http://www.ncsml.org/default.aspx

Maybe I shall meet Bob, and I shall have a thing or two to say. Oh, I shall not spare the rod on him either.

And that’s because I wrote this book:

And nothing bespeaks “destruction” of society than a book on a subject that had never been explored before – the history of the Czechs and Slovaks of Louisiana. Who would have even thought that such a subject even existed, right? I mean, French, Spanish, Italian, German, African, American-Indian – all right there in the Louisiana mix (And I build the website for www.tunicapowwow.org) showing the threat I am to the decency of the place. A book I wrote for my mother, to honor a Commandment of God: honor thy mother. And Bob is busy bearing false witness, in direct contravention to a Commandment of God. He’s a liar, and willfully ignorant and willfully mistaken, like a heathen SOB, indeed. How many lives will you destroy for your political power trips, Bob? Do tell, I ask.

And you can buy a copy of my book, Bob – to help me fund my “evil” “lifestyle” as you portray it. You can buy it, Bob, right there in Iowa – on your 99 county tour. Right there in Cedar Rapids, Bob. There, a book by a gay guy! Oh the horrors! Weirdly, given the portent of my forthcoming donation, I may well be honored by the governor of that state himself, for having done the good thing. That governor might be Bob himself – or what? Will he dismiss my donation to one of the most important cultural museums in his state and nation? Because I’m a gay guy? The idiot.

But I wrote the book on Czechs & Slovaks in Louisiana – to clue Bob in – protoze, jsem od ceske dedictvi, a Vy ne – and this moron probably speaks but one language: NO GAYS, NO GAYS – bleating endlessly on the subject he knows naught about. And I speak three languages – English, Czech and Spanish.

More importantly, because I am my family’s historian – and the family – all four Czech sides – did save everything – I’m told by David Muhlena of the National Czech & Slovak Museum in Cedar Rapids Iowa – that I shall be donating all this vast treasure trove of an immigrant family from the Czech lands (Hell, I’m not even Slovakian, it’s Czech from forever,) and the State of Iowa will benefit – as will every Czech and Slovak heritage person – as will, if Muhlena is right – every immigrant family of whatever derivation will benefit – for it is somewhat unbelievably probable that I, this blogger, has the most important repository of any immigrant family’s history in documents, photos, letters and such of any ever to come to America.

Would I not donate it to the National museum? Of course I will continue my plans.

But let me be clear – I shall personally invite this moron – so that he can come – and luxuriate in a 50+ gay man, older than he is, the child-brained whacko that he is, in donating such a record to the benefit of the nation.

I shall specifically track him down – invite him – and lambaste him. I don’t give a crap. This man is not against the “homosexuals” – he’s against me. And who the hell does he think he is?

 A jsem unaveni, velmi unaveni, ze ja musim poslochovat do tento blbec.

(And I’m tired, very tired, that I must listen to this idiot.)

Even more despicable about this cretin is that I tend to a 89 year old gay World War II vet who helped defeat the NAZIs while Vander Plaats is resurrecting their miscreant ideas of “purity” among the people. What a waste of manhood.

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