What Tony Perkins can learn from Osama Bin Laden

OK, so Osama Bin Laden is dead. The rest of the shining examples of lunacy which he riled up to a frenzy of destruction for theology are still out there ready, able and willing to do harm. Oh, sure, it puts a big crimp, in a way, in their organization – take out a mafia’s CEO, well, things happen. There’s going to of course be the infighting to figure out whom is going to get to be the next big wig. It’s the way of criminal gangs. There’s spoils to be won. There’s prestige and power and money, lots of money. I’m sure we’ll hear shortly that this one or that one has declared himself the leader of Al Qaeda and the quest for the destruction of the Western modern rational civil world will continue apace. This person will of course immediately taunt the United States: “Bring it on.” Sure, we can do that. This doesn’t end terrorism, however. It’s not like one guy in a shopping mall that can be taken out and the carnage stopped. No, it’s a whole compendium of groups and whackos who have no idea how to do real good things, but only destroy the lives of others. Sort of like Tony Perkins in a weird way. If he was to leave this earth, what would become of the NO GAYS movement? Sorry, I digress.

Indeed, one could well imagine that there will be celebratory riots and bombings and killings all across the Arab world. Not the Muslim world, no. For it seems sometimes that the Indonesian Muslims are not too much of the slaughter the West kind. Oh, they slaughter each other of course. The Javanese in Jakarta are running the show, and they’re suppressing a province on Sumatra called Aceh who are a different people with a different language, and the killing goes on as we speak. For the good of the people, of course. Also seems that Aceh is where the oil is, always a sticky wicket in a revolutionary crisis, eh Libya? Though they are not without their loonies, either. Some roving bands of theocrats do every so often burn down a Christian church. There’s a few small millions of Christians there across the 250,000,000 Indonesian citizens. They’re concentrated here and there on this or that island. They sort of, oddly, ironically, are the same percentage of gay folks in America. Oh, 5% or less. And they’re put upon by the larger society and called subversive, threatening, anti-true religion and domestic terrorists for trying to live calm peaceful productive lives in their own way. How weirdly similar to what Tony Perkins calls gay people. But I digress.

Now, Osama will be made into a martyr forthwith. Even though the US says that no Americans were harmed, the story will be given in the villages that Osama took out a platoon of the infidel, of course. These people have lots of weird stories that bear no resemblance to known facts, so there’s no reason this new one will not spread. Like Maggie Gallagher spreads rumors about gay people trying to destroy the Catholic Church through our evil agenda of doing nothing much at all. Again, I digressed, sorry.

Supposedly the body of the man will be cast into the sea. I’m not sure, maybe that’s a rumor already. Which will leave no “proof” to be examined later on. There will be no place of worship created either, you know El Mosque bin Laden or something. Of course, there’s soon to be, oh give it, um, to noon Central Time, the story that it’s really not Bin Laden dead at all, but some double that he uses for just this very purpose. Oh, the rumors will start too that the US is of course lying about the whole thing. Who knows what more rumors and stories and fictions will arise? Give it time. When a man such as this dies the conspiracy theorists come out of the woodwork with all sorts of fine ideas.

They write books and put out documentaries, and weave this or that semi-fact with this or that supposition and a good dash of political views and maybe even some theocracy for good measure, and they’ll make a little money and get some air time and they’ll be happy. It’s sort of like Tony Perkins and the Family Research Council does with their conspiracy theory on how gay folks running curio shops are part of a vast “domestic terrorist” plot to destroy the world. Quite a fantasy, but with the conditions of all conspiracy theorists, they make a little living and are happy in their delusions. But I digress.

So while the news is good today, oh boy, it’s also true that the next few days, weeks and months are going to be interesting as the fireworks of social unrest are stirred for the continuing purpose of taking over all the Muslim countries in the caliphate to await the coming of some glory by staying rooted very firmly in a mindless conformity of constant theology. And a people will pray themselves into poverty and pain. Weird to watch. It will certainly be a lot more violent than Bryan Fischer’s continuing purpose of taking over the United States in the fundamentalist idea of the coming of the rapture by staying rooted very firmly in a mindless conformity of constant theology. I digressed again, but why do I keep coming up with eerie parallels? Hmm.

At least for the first time in a long time all 300+ million Americans have something to agree on and rejoice over. Whom could be against such an outcome? Oh, maybe a few foreign born terrorist cells that are awaiting the right moment, or maybe some home grown nut cases who found theology and will now go kill for the Glory of God and the revenge of Allah and Osama. They surface every so often in this nation, don’t they? Timothy McVeigh, too – now there was a domestic terrorist. He did not do it for the gay cause. I don’t think that was a rumor that could ever have gotten started. And there was Ted Konsinky who mailed his bombs – and in his long rambles the word “gay” was never seen. Then too there were the people who blew up the World Trade Center the first time, back in 1993. Which always reminds me of the bomb that went off in front of the NY Stock Exchange in like 1914 or something. Someone drove a wagon pulled by a team of horses and left it parked out front of the Exchange in mid morning. Then it exploded a some 200 were killed and the street a mess with broken glass and the damage wrought. Not solved yet either, a very cold case indeed. Still, that bit of domestic terror was not done for gay rights at all. Indeed, it seems there’s no violence at all coming from what Peter Sprigg calls the biggest terrorist threat to the nation, aka, the gay folks.

Which is perhaps the learning lesson here – there are true terrorists like Osama Bin Laden and the whole collage of crazed Muslims no matter where they are – and there are imaginary terrorists, like gay people. And there are real people dealing with the real terrorists – and they are fine fine people. Men and woman who actually fight to stop real terrorists, instead of bleating endlessly on their own radio and TV shows about how a certain class of taxpayers with jobs and homes and families all across the nation are this dire threat to the existence of the Republic. These people are lunatics, and are far more like terrorists themselves – for they do call for the forced eradication of a group of people on theological ground, after all – than we are. We’re a bunch of butterflies for heaven’s sake, compared to any terrorist running around the world today. We cut hair, not heads. We put on Broadway shows, not bomb pizza shops. We bolt the cockpit door against the true theologically inspired terrorists who blow up airports and airplanes. And Perkins doesn’t see this? Is he nuts? Yep. He is.

So let us rejoice as a nation for the death of Osama, and let us pray as a nation for the turning of the hearts and minds of the NO GAYS movement to more rational pursuits.

And here’s two links – to the same video –



The first site is a gay blog with pictures – NSFHeteros nor even maybe work. The second site is a nice political site I frequent, with a “who cares? but I wonder” about gay folks thing going on.

The video is quite the thing – real soldiers doing just the coolest lip sync. Doing something positive. Not like Osama Bin Laden and Tony Perkins – men who are true theological terrorists, in their own fashion within their own culture. Thanks guys, for doing so much damage. Yah.

But when two very different websites come together to show the same video, with praise in their own way for the Patriotic thing, well, then that’s a lesson Tony Perkins and cabal can learn. Peace to you Tony, and don’t get too Osama on us all.

And here, here’s the difference between terrorism and gay folks — can you spot it Tony?


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