Kate & Will get married; gays declared “terrorists”

Aw, so Kate and Will are married, congrats young’uns. Do go sow your wild oats in (mostly) holy matrimony and try not to get a divorce. And bear one or two for the monarchy! And I’m perhaps sure Harry, poor prince, does lament it all. For he’s about to be shunted one or two more down the line of succession. One does fret for the kid. Forever destined to be #2. Unlike some younger brothers, Harry can never overcome his older brother’s good fortune at having been born first. One wonders what must go through the mind of the randy thing. Unlike, say King John, Harry’s older brother is not gay. John of course had older-bro Richard the Lionhearted, who died “without issue” as they say in those circles, and so Johnny became king and proceeded to so bully the populace that they threatened him with death unless he signed the Magna Carta forever denuding the English monarchy of the “divine right of absolute rule.” Took till Charles I got his head chopped off to really let it sink in, but hey.

James I, of course, was Charlie’s dad. And he was a gay man, of that there is just no doubt. Compiled the Bible in between his kissing of his boyfriend, but hey, that’s just history (often, purposefully, conveniently ignored by those spouting the King James Bible against gay folks, but that’s a “hey” too. Right?)

Meanwhile, here in America, on the very day of the wonderful event in London, which affects us naught, but we’re all happy for the young couple, one Tony Perkins of delusion-land did say thus:

“This has moved from cultural terrorism to corporate terrorism. That’s what this is. Now, back in the 80’s and early 90’s I worked with the state department in anti-terrorism and we trained about fifty different countries in defending against terrorism, and it’s, at it’s base, what terrorism is, it’s a strike against the general populace simply to spread fear and intimidation so that they can disrupt and destabilize the system of government. That’s what the homosexuals are doing here to the legal system”


And so this bombastic pitiful shadow of a real man did try to rile up our fellow citizens against us by calling us “terrorists.” “Cultural Terrorism”? What on earth? What the hell is that? Is that the Broadway plays we put on? Com’n Perky – give us some details for crying out loud. Make the charge stick. Don’t just go spouting off from the lips and say mush. Where’s your sense of decency, sir?

And I think – really? Are gay people really “terrorists”? Is he kidding? Maybe it’s the “homosexuals.” He always calls us “homosexuals” – this cretin of a man who doesn’t speak English well enough to know that “gay” was in English as well, as gay, as early as the 1100s, and “homosexual” invented by some loony German dude, Kraft-Ebbing, in the late 1800s. But the “heys” build up with astounding rapidity with Perky. So maybe he should go find some “homosexuals,” and leave us gay folks alone.

Now, most gay men would simply say “Oh, Perkins sucks,” or something. You know, lash out in anger. Not me. Let’s go look at the word “terrorist” that Perkykins (he’s just so endearing, I can’t resist the endearing terms. Why I think he needs a sissy smooch to calm his nerves,) anyway – he so blithely tosses around this word “terrorist.” And we can do so since Perkyboy did work “with the state department anti-terrorism and we trained about 50 different (and as if 50 weren’t different, but redundancy is a strong point of Perkins.) countries in defending against terrorism.” And I think – if this is the man involved in “training” anyone, it’s no wonder we’re losing the “war on terrorism.” Why, the man thinks gays are terrorists! Hairdressers out to destroy the land! The horrors.

So, we gays are “simply to spread fear” eh? Well, Tonybony, no, sir, you’re the “terrorist” on this regard – you are the one spreading fear. Why, look, sir, you are spreading your fear of gay people. And you are fearful of us as a group – not as individuals of course – he never names a one of us individually, just us as a collective. Like we all get the memo or something. And we don’t spread the fear of gays, or heteros, or anyone betwixt. It’s you lamebrain. Why he does not see his error I do not know. I have never been good at delving into the minds of the stupid.

Then he says “what terrorism is, it’s a strike against the general populace.” You know, crash jets into skyscrapers. Bomb a few theaters and pizza parlors. Shoot up a shopping mall. You know, terror. Well, now – gay folks, we’ve done that right? I mean – surely we’ve blown somethings up and will continue until we get our demands met, right? But what have gay people destroyed? What have we put bombs in? What cafes or churches have been burned to the ground with dozens dead? None. But that’s not going to stop Perkins’ delusion.

Meanwhile, right here in Louisiana, where Perkins is from, down in New Orleans, was one of the most horrific acts of domestic terror ever done – 32 men killed. Firebombed to death, burned alive. In a gay church. Oh yes, the Upstairs Lounge, firebombed in 1973, the perpetrators never caught, and one wonders if ever sought.

And I cringe for the man, I really do. He’s deluded into his fantasy of threatening gays. He seems to believe we are destroying the legal system by merely pointing out that DOMA is just wrong. So some of us, and not a few heterosexuals presumably (for who listens to gay folks,) told King & Spalding – don’t defend DOMA. And so what? Why, we would heartily recommend that to any rational person. Don’t take the case, it’s morally wrong to do so.

There’s a right to individuals to defense, true – when accused by government! And there’s a duty of lawyers to defend people, true – who are accused by government! But defending DOMA is not defending any individual – it’s defending the government who is attacking its own citizens. And if there’s one bunch that needs no defense it’s the government which attacks its own citizens. Indeed, the whole point of the government in this country was to leave it defenseless to the whims of the populace. And so we exercised free speech – apparently not allowed to us by Perkybutt. Indeed, calling us “terrorists” for speaking freely is rather weird. Loony. Just UnAmerican, even.

But while I don’t really mind Perkyschemerky being crazy – I’m not married to the man (heaven forbid, shoot me first) – but I feel sorry for his wife. She’s married to a loon. She has to listen to this crap at home too, I’m sure. No doubt he cries “Oh, those terrorists, they’re winning.” And he falls asleep with a pacifier so that he feels better or something. I feel sorry for him that he simply has made it his life’s work to denigrate fine people and cast aspersions upon me. Indeed, I take it personally. He’s now accused me of being a “Domestic Terrorist.” I would think then I’m now open for criminal prosecution.

The weirdest thing is this – when he gets his druthers (since he’s talking to everybody running for president to convince them that we should indeed be rounded up and incarcerated at an untold cost of humanity and billions of dollars,) he’ll be the first to say we deserve no lawyers. For we are not people to him. He’s a terrorist in this regard. Like those who call Jews dogs and thus ready to be firebombed, Perkins is the man who threw that firebomb back in 1973. He’s the one who’s calling for the death of millions of Americans. He’s the terrorist.

I’m just a guy who plays piano, orders the family history, wrote a few books, painted some paintings, and in other ways calmly made my way through life by leaving everyone else alone or helping them.

Which is opposite to Perkins. No, it’s Perkysnerky who is out to kill. He’s out to spread fear. He’s out to destroy. The man is just a terrorist.

And someone should put him away where he can cause no more trouble.


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