Egypt, Blizzard, Bullying: important stuff

Egypt, Blizzard, Bullying – the important stuff.

The world is agog at what is happening in Egypt. A million people are asked to gather in the streets of Cairo, and probably many other cities as well. The army has “pledged” not to shoot anyone. Let’s hope and pray that will be true. And let’s hope and pray that the protestors themselves remain as peaceful as they can be. When I read that some folks tried to loot the fabled antiquities of Egypt I think that perhaps that’s a good place for the army to guard. Just ring the museums gentlemen and preserve those wonders. I’m sure there’s more than a few crazed fundamentalist Muslims who would wreck the place for what they’d call the “glory of god” but is really the “stupidity of man.” The stuff is made, it’s precious, and it’s not just Egypt’s, but the world’s in a way.

Meanwhile, the country does belong to the Egyptians, though Mr. Mubarak thinks it belongs to him. Amazingly, the second headline of today’s Egypt news is “US Hopes Mubarak won’t seek re-election.” Yes, the man who is “King” in all but name, who’s been on his throne for 30 years, who has near absolute power over the lives and fortunes of some 80 million people, pharaoh-like in his claim to power, might seek “re-election.” Sure, if that’s what you want to call running unopposed with your putative and probable opposition in jail or exile, not to mention your complete control of the printed and broadcast media. Sure, “re-election,” that’s the ticket. Wink, wink.

Shouldn’t the US be saying “Run no more Hosni.” Shouldn’t the United Nations and member states, all over this world be saying something like: “Give it up Mubarak, for the good of the nation.” Obviously, the man has done not much good in 30 years. If you can’t get an economy up and running in such a time frame than you really have no idea what you’re doing. In fact, with Egypt’s top-heavy bureaucratic, socialist-type economic planning system, it’s no wonder the jobless rate is so high, and the economy brutally primitive. For that’s what happens in such systems, as divers examples show. The thing to do, of course, is liberate the economy. Let those people do business and presto, jobs, wealth, and who knows, a tad of stability based on good times, rather than the “stability” based on control. And that you have to have the army say “No, we won’t shoot the people.” Well, then, that shows how unstable the stability of dictatorship really is.

Who can tell what’s to come of that nation. But one thing that is a good idea is the Mexican system of “No-Re-Election.” One term and go to your laurels. A Mexican president gets six years, and out. A mayor or governor, four years, I think, and out. They even have streets named “No Reeleccion” — No re-election. What a great concept for our government to push and prod onto these miscreant dictators who act like kings. While we’re at it, push to get rid of a few kings too. But I’m cranky for freedom, what can I say. Say, how about term limits here, for one and all elected officials? Hmm. Yes, good.

In other significant news, a headline reads: “Midwest winter storm” — well, actually, a blizzard of brutal bombast — “expected to pack a wallop.” Well, no, from Arkansas to Maine, or “one third of the nation,” is about to be buried in snow to the roof tops – not just the Midwest. Indeed, that’s the opening sentence of the piece. So why not headline it: – “Blizzard strikes one third of the nation”? I’m sure it would fit the space. It would be more accurate from the get go. The picture is of a man up to his neck in snow in Minnesota, “yet another snowstorm” came on through, it is blithely said. Yes, well, when Minnesota has to close schools for snow, well, then that’s something. The storm, in brazen understatement, “created difficult driving conditions.” I’d dare say that it made driving nigh on impossible if you could even get your car out of a drift.

And it’s not just Minnesota with the unrelenting snow storms. I was talking to my Uncle Myles just the other day about the 3 feet of snow lying around his house in Massachusetts. And the fact that he will have to hire someone to shovel off his roof lest it collapse. And when you have to shovel the roofs of the Boston suburbs, that’s some deep snow!

Of course, global warming is the cause of this unrelenting blizzardry some still say. Like my friend who came over last night, and the old man I help – both were quite sure that man is warming up the planet and the blizzards are a sure sign of that. I went outside to have a stiff drink and get ready for the 40 degree plunge we expect tonight into tomorrow. For there’s nothing like warmth to stir up the cold and snow and danger and misery. Nothing says palm trees in Central Park any day now, if we don’t get a handle on the disaster of man-made warmth through massive government control, with Egyptian-like proportions, than the tenth blizzard of the season pummeling one third of the nation with two, three, four feet of snow and probable drifts of up to 10 feet. What a lovely bunch of cocoanuts these global warmalists are!

Speaking of cocoanuts, Mazatlan, Mexico – one of my absolutely favorite cities, there, some 50 miles south of the Tropic of Cancer, which does start the, um, tropics, is going to be plunged at night into the high 30s for several nights, and only barely hit 70 for the high. Normal is 82/62. Oh the bliss of a blizzardless winter on the Mexican coast! But no, the cocoanut trees themselves will be imperiled, for that species does not like to see anything less than 50, though will tolerate 45 from time to time if you make them. But 36? For a week? Yikes! Save the cocoanuts! But one more idiot tells me about global warming and I’m gonna’ scream “you idiot!” Now, if General Motors really was the people’s car company they’d give everyone a hummer. And in this way we’d warm the planet up and really stop the blizzards. And suck so much oil out of the ground there wouldn’t be a drop left to give a rat’s butt for Egypt at all. For that’s the only reason that country is “important.” It’s near the oil and has most of the Arabs.

Closer to home, in Upper Darby PA six high school students were caught hanging a 13 year old by his coat on a metal fence post, after having dragged him through the snow and tossing him in a bush, and otherwise brutalizing the poor kid – and filming it for posterity! I’m sure we’ll soon learn that the tyke was gayish, or a sissy of some sort, and then it’ll be OK, you know, to make a man of him or something. But heaven forfend if we “indoctrinate” about “homosexuality” by saying “don’t beat up the sissies” like poor ol’ was complaining about just yesterday. To bolster their case that it’s OK to say anything about gay folks with impunity they had the audacity to say that gay folks are into necrophilia and corprophilia – you know – sex with the dead. Boy, talk about your blood libel.

And I wonder though – let’s get all the stories straight: Gay men are supposedly having sex with horses and any other barnyard animal we can get in our gayborhoods in the inner cities where there’s nary a horse around. And we’re kidnapping teen boys off the streets of Iowa and elsewhere to warehouse them and indoctrinate into the evil and nefarious gay life style. And now, now, we’re accused of purloining the dead from funeral parlors and morgues so that we can have sex with them too. And that’s a lot to do when we’re not cutting hair and choosing knik-knacks for the living rooms of America. You know, seize the nation’s youth, horses and cadavers all in one day by merely asking to teach the straight kids not to hang us on fence posts, bash us, beat us up, and stop calling us sissy, fag, queer, sick, demented, et al, etc, et more. What an agenda! To be accorded some rational thought. Sex with the dead, egad, what a moonbat!

Yet, given that storms are often blamed on gay folks’ existence and minor-acceptance – you know, Katrina, and any number of hurricanes which struck Florida, and of course, the earthquakes in California are often attributed to allowing gay folks a modicum of decency by well meaning fundamentalists intent on preserving the nation, and just a week or so ago even birds falling out of the sky was blamed on the repeal of Don’t Ask, Lie – I’m awaiting patiently for the announcement that the blizzard a-coming is because Illinois’s governor did sign a “civil union” law into effect just this yesterday. One nice thing about the article is that it is just a tiny thing, for it isn’t really important, true. One weird thing is that “heterosexuals” will be allowed to avail themselves of the “marriage-less” law, because, you know, I guess it’s not fair that gay folks get something all to ourselves. Of course, the lawsuits will now commence, for it still is patently unfair amongst other problems.

For somehow, because of the language of DOMA, the civil unions of straight Illinois folks will be more-equal than civil unions for gay folks. For when the straight couple files a joint tax return it will be respected, but when a gay couple does it, it will be rejected. And when a civilly unioned (isn’t that just but one problem with the term? How does one make a verb or adjective of the thing?) straight couple moves from Chicago to say, Wyoming, to get away from the rapacious tax burden of Illinois, then that couple will be given all the fine welcome that Wyoming can muster. And if a gay couple follows suit, then they’ll get all the fine welcome that the poor 13 year old got in Upper Darby – which is an awful like what happened to Matthew Sheppard in that fine state, though not, thank God, as deadly. (What is it about hanging us on fences?) Though it could well have gone that way. For with our detractors quite vocal about despising us with uncivil language, as even did, it does encourage the more mentally challenged and violent amongst the heterosexual youth to take out their jollies by bullying gay folks, real or perceived. You know, to make a man out of us! Why don’t you just introduce us to your charming sister and see if that goes anywhere? After all, so many still believe we might be, um, saved, if we meet the right woman. Uh huh.

So, to wrap it up – Egypt in a pickle, Mubarak on the way out, hopefully, and our mid-east foreign policy in a tither — a blizzard of epic proportions giving lie to global warming yet again — and gay folks allowed a “marraige-less” civil union.

Out of the three which are the two important ones? Com’n, guess. Well, I’m sure gay folks kissing with a piece of paper in their hand is going to be said by some to be the absolutely worse thing that could be happening to the nation. I can’t wait for the pronouncements of doom from our detractors like Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council or one of his many henchmen on the lookout for stopping the saying of anything nice about gay folks. Yah, it’s called rational, too.

Oh yah, no biggie, just your average hetero-sex story – for yet another “Baton Rouge man accused of using girl, 15,” story – and it’s a good thing the “Sex-trafficking suspect” is held. But, you know, gay folks, we’re the one’s stealing teens, oh my! Sure. It’s laughably sad that we have to listen to that mush. But we do.





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