A Week’s worth of gay stuff, I’ll be back

Talk amongst yourselves, I’ll be back, in a week. Here’s your assignment.

OK, it’s a week off from slogging through the internet and dropping comments like rocks upon the heads of so many who are gay-confused, gay-perplexed, gay-unsure, gay-unhappy, even gay-not-like-one-bit – the range of opinion and emotion is outstanding, the lack of knowledge backing them up is breathtaking. I’m hoping I served some good – but now it’s a week off from blogging, too, so you won’t get an education fix, sorry. Still, someone is reading this blog. From www.wordpress.com itself I get hearty news that my blog is “on fire.” Sure, I bet they say that to all the blogs. Still, I had just north of 4,200 readers – in barely 14 months – Mid November 2009 to today. Wow.

And in a reality illustrative of the tortoise and the hare story www.legalinsurrection.blogspot.com was the biggest referrer to my mush, while www.iowntheworld.com was number two. Which is odd, for my two highest traffic days were from IOTW, while Professor Jacobson’s site just dribbles them in, a few everyday I suppose. I don’t know. Then too facebook was a biggie; I’m guessing one reader tells another. The surprise is www.texas4palin.com – which is odd, for I never heard of this site. Whom they are I shall have to see when I get back. Still, Thank You all for coming, and a big hello to any who return, (I have a few subscribers and a few subscriptions, I don’t know the difference) and of course, to all who wander in. Quite a parade, and I feel so marshal of it. Yes, a week off.

Not because I have naught to say, oh no. It’s because I’m off to Florida for a week. Like the president I tend to take a lot of vacations; unlike the president I have fewer responsibilities. I’m even taking this one along on the trip. Me and the 88 year old gay WW II vet I help out are going to visit my father and an antique car show (actually, for the 88 year old, they were new.) So I’m leaving today on a jet plane, though I do know when I’ll be back again – January 12th. So you’ll all have to suffer without my ministrations to your quest for knowledge about the vast and allegedly injurious to ourselves and our national well being gay lifestyle, as it’s styled.

The thing no one can say what it is, except, well, if one is gay one has a gay lifestyle. I suppose. Which is a lifestyle that seems to simply consume 99% of a gay man’s life, since nothing else he does seems to matter one bit. I mean, even packing my bag, arranging the flights, and being groped or espied nekkid by some TSA cretin with a high school GED and a weeks training in surly disposition 101, is nothing compared to my gay lifestyle, or is done so differently as to warrant its own designation, right? This lifestyle is said to be part of a “homosexual agenda” of “promoting homosexuality” by a secret “homosexual lobby.” The agenda for this lifestyle is apparently, I’m told, “militant” or “radical” or both perhaps, by the mere mention of the word “gay” in a public forum. A powerful word it is, able to make grown men cry out in anguish. The goal of the agenda, nefarious as it is, is not given – not by anyone.

Certainly not by us, for we really don’t have one. And not by our opponents in the debate they’re having about us without actually debating with us any particular matter related to our existence. I’m not sure anyone could truly lay out what the goal of MR. HAPHHL (which is the acronym for the totality of it all) could be, for he won’t say. MR HAPHHL could just as easily be said to be coming for all the teenage boys and make them sissies by the administration of just the right dosage of the magic elixir concocted by the fairies at queer headquarters. This is surely what must be believed by those who claim we’re recruiting all the young boys. It’s more magical than unicorns, but it sure can earn Tony Perkins a buck. Disney made fantasy movies, too, quite lucratively. MR. HAPHHL might also be just for making sure the unwed mothers are caused by asking for no laws against gay sex. For a law against one thing is often known to affect something wholly different, as Justice Scalia is sure on this gay sex law thing he’s got a bug about.

That the lifestyle involves a vast number of peaceably assembled paraders to redress our grievances is particularly fearsome to oh so many. And yet also particularly unknown except by inference. For straight people hear there are parades, but mostly don’t know where, when, why, how, or with whom they come about. I suppose to have unknown parades could be unsettling. This First Amendment Right to gather and say to government: YOU’RE WRONG CONGRESSMAN! is, of course, OK for everyone, except well, except us gay folks, apparently. I mean, surely that’s why so many say “stop the parades” and ask “Do you have to flaunt it?” Flaunt what, I don’t know. We have no more guys in Speedos than you all have girls in leotards of astounding skin-hugging ferocity. But ours, well, evil, yours, wholesome. And we don’t even do the pubescent or high school guys like you all do rather young girls shown off in quite revealing costumes — we got ourselves some grown men! Would this be our flaunting that you don’t like? Yeesh, we don’t complain about the pandering to the inner hetero with your wanton displays of girl flesh, so what’s your beef?

I guess, too, one flaunts one’s gayness the minute one says “Hi, this is my boyfriend Michael.” That seems to be the first step down the slippery slope of “shoving it” in hetero faces. You all have no compunction, of course, in showing divers photos of kith and kin, and progeny and spouses galore, and even ex’s, to us by the barrel-full. This is not “flaunting” — no, this is “sharing.” But a gay guy with a boyfriend picture? Oh, the horrors of flaunting! Sort of a double standard, but hey, we’re talking saving civilization or something. For, if Ann Coulter is right, every time a gay guy says “boyfriend” it rips another rivet out of the ship of state. And she’s quite serious, if you listen to her.

Yes, the Right to Peaceably Assemble is a very worthwhile right. And in the longest running and most widespread and most vast series of political parades the world has ever seen, all over this nation and all over this globe, year by year, for four decades, in ever growing numbers, there are gay political protests by the hundreds, if not thousands. With millions, if not tens of millions, of people come together to say to government – and it’s minions of religion and society and politicians — LEAVE US ALONE! But don’t forget to include us too. Which is, I admit a sort of double message. But it’s like this – get rid of the laws that are against us – and include us in the laws where we might fit, and stop the nonsense about how the hairdressers are causing the trillion dollar deficits or something. Which is why some earnest commission will be required, for it is a complex web you weaved in your desire to deceive your selves of the reality of gay members of your families, where they are quite valuable indeed. I mean, really, when you think about it, how convenient a gay uncle could be when some set of parents what to jet off to Cancun to replenish the love – why, he can watch the kids!. Natural born baby sitters, who would have thunk it, without their own kids to worry about. Mommy minders too, or momma’s boys, but still, there they are, quite valuable to family, like I said.

The reason these protests are so hidden in plain sight, and thus open to misstatement of reality, is that they are held every year now for 40 years with nary a notice in the national press. Not one gay pride event has an ad or press release or promo spot on Radio, TV, or in Newspapers or Magazines of the larger culture. Ever. Which is pretty good “promoting homosexuality agenda” thing, don’t you think? It must be subliminal, no? How do we know? How can so many gay folks all show up at once with nary a promotional word? Well, it’s in our press, the press you heteros don’t really know exists. For so sure of the gay lifestyle you are, you are blithely unaware that it has spawned a separate economy – including a vibrant press. Oh well, live and learn, eh? Perhaps Peter Sprigg of the Research Council might do some actual research and find out the growing menace of tens of millions of homosexuals protesting piss poor treatment by the likes of Peter Sprigg.

And when we gather to protest the unjust laws that still linger against us we do so in our own way. Nothing in the Constitution lays out a form for peaceably assembling in protest of government action, it merely says Congress shall make no law against such protests. Nothing in any law says only this or that way of assembling and what manner of sign and dress might be required of the protestors. Absolutely nothing, but still, we’re to be castigated because we do peaceably assemble. Though, too, obviously, there’s nothing in the First Amendment that a certain band of merry men protesting has to seek permission from even one fellow citizen. Obviously, our protests can’t be too bad, for no one comes out to counter protest. Well, Fred Phelps does, of Westboro Infamy, but he can barely gather a dozen lunatics. Even stranger, of course, is that the nation simply ignores such protests. Maybe because they’re too peaceful, though we’re not capable of much else, for we’re just having a gay ol’ time protesting like there’s no tomorrow.

Which there might not be if all the various NOM, AFTAH, FRC, AFV and whomever in the constellation of unhomosexualists – the ones who will stomp us into the ground, arrest us, outlaw us, export us, cure us, or just in general keep up a steady banter of bile, despising and disparaging have their way. For the good of family and nation, they say. And look, many politicians join in! Now, I don’t, we don’t, care if some gelatinous fool like Tony Perkins doesn’t like gay folks – it’s his right to be a fool for sure. But it’s his getting the police state riled up against us – well, then, that we’ll have to continue to protest. Hence the parades.

The unknown peaceful parades of millions are a threat, oh sure. But when good wholesome heteros get together, oh my, watch out — for when most protestors protest, violence and havoc ensue. Often police are on hand in riot gear just to be on the safe side. Well, that’s the Left’s protests. For the Left does love a good protest. But the Right had a protest march recently, lots of ’em, too. All those TEA Party rallies, and the big Beck Honor Rally, — they share something in common with gay protests – they were extraordinarily peaceful. And with nary a notice in the press to forewarn the populace that grievances would be redressed here or there, then or now. Still, TEA Party & Gays — No acts of violence whatsoever. Amazingly how peaceful gay peaceably assemble to redress our grievances isn’t it? But it doesn’t make the evening news. Oh, sure, perhaps a moment in some years, CNN might put up a picture or two of a feather boa or a rambunctious drag queen (which is our clown, like the ones that you have at parades – our clowns have their own get-ups, what can I say, but aren’t clowns allowed?) But then the news quickly hustles off to some overpaid sports star’s coming divorce.

No broadcast outlet ever covered a gay protest in full. Or in part. Or in snippets. Just a picture or two, and a mention that a “small number of homosexuals had their annual parade today.” Sure, a million in New York, ½ millions in Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco, 1/3 millions in Dallas, Houston, Boston, Washington, Atlanta, ¼ millions in Minneapolis, San Antonio, Seattle, Miami, and perhaps just random bunches of 10ths of a million strolling around another 100 cities of lesser size across the nation – and pretty much all on the same day. And that’s not even all the gay folks! Oh no, I’d say less than 1 in 5 actually come out to the frolic. But who knows?

Now imagine if the TEA Party was able to gather such numbers, hmm? Do you think that would make the news? If the Socialists came out in such numbers, the alarm might be easier given for the peril seen. If college students protesting paying for their own education came out in such numbers, one might truly wonder at the cause of grievance, for there would be little left standing, what with their burning and pillaging rampages. But gay people? By the millions? Nah, not news. Never could be, for that would be, of course, “promoting” reality. And Reality and Gay People are not subjects that go together yet, still a bit oil and water if you know what I mean. Still, there is, I see, much comment all over the internet that such parades are “not good for the gay cause.” Sure, if we hide, you’ll let us out to play, when you’re ready, maybe, if you can find us after we hide until you are. But no, we shall disagree on this one, OK? Though you’re more than welcome to learn about the protest – just, please, no violence, it wracks our nellie nerves.

So, our agenda, I guess, is to change your agenda, to change the hetero agenda, to change the legal and moral and religious and societal agenda — from “Castigate” “Excoriate” “Denigrate” — to mollycoddle us a bit, for we’re just a bit weird, that’s all. Now go read everything I ever wrote here — who knows, there might be a test! See ya’.


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