Good Will To All (and gay folks too)
It’s the night before Christmas,
and all through the House,
and the Senate, and the courts,
and in every state legislature,
and in every city council,
and in churches of divers sorts,
and who knows where else,
and even right there in some families
there is not good will to “All”
What there is, is good will to 95%.
And the 5% are like Charlie Brown.
Pretty much not liked by anyone,
well, except the philosophical Linus of course.
Of whom there are now many Linuses.
Because we gay folks have won
the hearts and minds of many,
for we’re just decent taxpaying citizens
who cause no ruckus,
and who certainly don’t deserve
to be called “evil” “deviant”
“fag,” “queer” and “homo”
And not even the scientific “homosexual.”
But just the old fashioned word “gay”
But Good Grief people,
Com’n Mr. Perkins, on Fischer,
and Sprigg, and the Pope and
probably someone name Dixon.
We’re like Rudolph aren’t we?
No one will let us play reindeer games.
But don’t worry, our noses are bright
(it’s said we’re like alcoholics, right?
Don’t alcoholics have red noses?)
and we’ll guide you tonight,
to bring the greatest gift of all.
Good will to ALL.
It’s time to put your “debate” to bed.
I’m not debating you on the matter,
And I’m telling you why.
There’s sugar plum fairies,
who don whatever gay apparel is,
who live in every Congressional District,
and in every town & city of this nation,
and are members of millions of families.
Now, our elected representatives clearly
do not represent gay people,
when such as John McCain and others
run off to meet with
the poorly named “Family Research Council.”
This group is a bunch of Scrooges.
This group does not “research” family.
If they did they’d find that there are gay folks
in families all across this great land of Liberty.
Nor do they even “research” gay people.
Instead they fabricate Lord knows what,
to just raise funds from similarly minded people,
In a vain attempt to rid us from society,
while they lead cushy lives producing nothing but grief.
Vain because you can get rid of gay folks
as easy as you can count the grains of a cookie.
And all the “family values” coalitions
are not for any such thing,
but instead are intent are ripping
the gay sons and daughters
out of the bosom of our families.
In the process, we gay folks are accused
of being against something.
I don’t know. Family. Society. God.
The nation, civilization. Everyone.
We’re against? Are you nuts?
What utter poppycock.
We have begged for inclusion.
And we have done absolutely nothing
to wreck any family, nor society,
nor do harm to God, the nation,
and certainly not civilization itself.
The idea is so absurd,
that a bunch of natural born sissies
is any threat to anyone or anything.
I mean, a hairdresser?
What could the man do?
Give you a bob instead of a weave?
The concept is preposterous
that 5% of the people of this nation
are wrecking it, while the 95%
are exonerated from all wrongdoing
because 5% is accepted and welcomed.
And if any think we are this grave threat,
which by your own words you do believe we are,
then — and I’ll say it again —
Then it behooves this great nation
to put every resource and effort
that can be mustered or conceived
to the task of eliminating us
and prevent any more of us.
Lest the whole thing come crashing down.
But to just go around bleating,
like some lost sheep with mad cow disease,
“Homosexuals are dysfunctional”
“Homosexuals are evil”
“Homosexuals are __________”
Oh fill in the blank with your favorite calumny.
Go ahead, make my day. Bring it on.
Egads what piffle pushers.
We function so fine we’ve already
been able to convince a good 50% or more
of you that were just fine folks.
What’s taking the rest of you we don’t know.
Come along now, come along.
We’re so evil that we interior decorate
houses by the score, even for Santa Claus.
And we make sure your seat backs
are in an upright position before takeoff.
So get a grip you people,
those of you obsessed with gay folks,
and the rest who will stand athwart
the thresholds of the nation
to say we shall not pass in peace:
It’s ridiculous, and unbecoming
a rational and decent people.
Now go have a Merry Christmas,
or whatever other holiday you celebrate,
and look deep into your stocking
hung with care by the fireplace,
like every gay person’s is too,
and find a shred of decency,
good will, Christian Charity
and a healthy respect
for the least of God’s Children.
Come now, it’s Christmas.
Is our “agenda” to be treated
as you would want to be treated,
really that nefarious?
And aren’t you the real Grinch
who’s destroying family values
by spending so much time
on trying to destroy the children
who simply were born gay,
like an autistic kid is born autistic?
That’s it. This is us. That’s what you get.
It’s not going to change.
And while this is Christmas,
think about this, think carefully,
monitor your words —
for around millions of Christmas Trees
tomorrow morning will be gay kids,
who already know they’re different.
But one thing for sure —
his parents probably don’t. Yet.
What are you teaching that boy?
What are you saying about him?
Why are you condemning him
for, as you say yourselves —
A largely unexplained mix of developmental factors?
On this you base your conclusions?
Flimsy nonexistent information?
Go figure it out.
It’s not hard.
We just are.
And your not.
Which is too bad,
for it’s quite a fine thing to be.
(And that’s the worst “poem” ever written)
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