No fairy tales for fairies

There are no fairy tales for fairies. No tales about how any of us, um, “fairies” might find our prince charming. There isn’t so much as a gay character in any tale told by anyone to us during our childhood. There’s no gay couples on TV or in movies. Oh sure, now, maybe, here and there, one or two on TV. But the movies? Where is the gay love story? Where’s the high school sweethearts grow up, get married, or civil unioned, or twained, or hitched, and adopt the kids abandoned by drunken drugged heterosexuals and live happily ever after? There are none. Never has been. There’s barely a movie like “Sleepless in Seattle” or the Hugh Grant-Sarah Bullock romantic comedies in “queer” movie festivals. There’s no examples in public anywhere. They shall not be seen, lest we encourage the others. Well, what on earth! You should be encouraging the young gay men to find their prince and be monogamous and settle down and have a white picket fence. And in that way you wouldn’t get the “gay lifestyle” you all incessantly bleat about. You reap what you sowed.

For we are bereft of examples. And being bereft of examples we are left to our own devices. But worse, not only are there no fairy tales, what is said about us gay folks is so horrendous, that it’s the wonder that we are not more screwed up than we are. And we’re not very screwed up at all, as every study has shown. And as practical reality has shown. I mean really, are all those self-supporting hair dressers, flight attendants, interior designers really “evil”? Are they really out to destroy society? What on earth could you all be thinking? It’s preposterous.

And we’re OK because we ignore the majority of anti-gay stuff as so much piffle. For we know it can’t be true, what is said about us. We know we are not evil. We know we are not hellbent on destroying civilization. And when we hear these things we giggle. Truly, it’s just hysterical.

But we don’t get “practice” or “support” nor ever a positive word. And you wonder why we’re a little screwed up?

I saw a series of articles in the archives at — about whether gay monogamy is possible, and how monogamy truly is the central part of matrimony. And that is true. Fidelity. There’s even a commandant for it – Thou shall not commit adultery! Honored more in the breach, but hey, we gay folks are accused of causing that too. And the entire discussion, good though it is, both few dozen posts and the hundreds of comments, all miss the most obvious thing: No one taught us. No one ever coddled the gay boys. No one ever said a nice thing to the sissies. Let me tell you – fine relationships and happy lives and picket fences is not only possible – but it happens all the time. And more so now, today, with the positiveness that has finally erupted for gay people in the past two decades. But still, gay men receive no direction, and more often misdirection. For we are either ignored or told we’re the most horrendous sort of people imaginable.

Think about what Tony Perkin’s comments tell a young gay man. The poor boy is already nervous about the whole thing, perhaps even fearful – not that he’s gay, no — it’s with any violence or malicious words that might be hurled against him. We’re all very comfortable being gay. We don’t even think about it. But really, now, tell a boy he’s evil and is destined to live a life of depravity and sex in bus station bathrooms and what do you think you’re going to get? Isn’t that the point of teaching? Not just facts, but morality – to guide young people to be all they can be? Sure it is. And all gay people are going to be is gay. And thus it behooves the heterosexuals which surround us to try to figure out a way to guide young gay men to stability, to decency, to monogamous relationships and china patterns. But don’t tell us we’re going to do evil things in parks and bus stations. Or that’s what you’re going to get.

Let me tell you a story. Charley and Peter were a couple. “Married” for 17 years, after dating for three before that. And they lived together, as a couple should, in wedded monogamous bliss in Beauregard Town, one of the old quarters in downtown Baton Rouge. And they had a little house, with one bedroom. And it was nicely appointed. With a sweet little garden of flowering plants all around. And it was well maintained and the taxes paid. And they had jobs. Which they coordinated because they usually had just one car between them. For 17 years they held themselves out to all – friends and family, coworkers and neighbors — as a couple. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind. But one sad day they were at a beach in North Florida. And they were dragged out in some fury of the sea, and they drowned. Together. And their bodies were found close together in the crashing waves. Oh such sadness, to lose two fine fellows in one fell swoop. The Lord did call them home together as a couple. You want to say that God dispatched them for being an evil gay couple, that’s your sickness. Why it took God 17 happy years to do is something you’ll have to ask God.

And then funeralS were held. Yes, two. Two funerals for one couple. And why? Because the respective parents – who knew for 17 years that those two men shared a life as a couple – could not bear to acknowledge in death what was true in life. They were a couple. And to have one funeral, like would be had for any husband and wife swept away by the sea together, would be too much for society still to deal with. How sad. How utterly disappointing. What a terrible lesson to teach. There was nothing moral in not recognizing with solemn praise for the couple their parting this world. No, there was the implication of something sordid in the separation at death. Not even buried together. Miles apart. But in Heaven, no doubt, together. For they cleaved unto each other. And we gay friends of Peter and Charley were saddened by the unreality of it all. But we said nothing, for it was the families’ choice. And for “family values” they pretended there was no family whatsoever. Sad.

We gay people can’t really remain silent on this any more. We’re fine folks who do our part within this nation are just so tired of having to defend our existence. And we are the most peaceful at it. And to call us evil is morally wrong. What the self-proclaimed saviors of the family like Tony Perkins, Bryan Fischer, and the rest of them, are saying is just so wrong. To constantly say we are destroying anything, how nuts can they be? They present no evidence other than some hoary tales of yonder days and superstition and unGodly rhetoric with no basis in fact or reality. They are preaching unicorns with broken horns. It’s delusional. Everyday at is the cataloging of the destruction of gay people that the “family values” people are planning and perpetrating. These people seek nothing less than the figurative or literal genocide of millions of their fellow citizens. And this is said to be rational speech on a matter of grave public debate? Astounding. What a country!

What’s even worse is for any Republican candidate to meet with these people. What does it say about Mike Huckabee – a man who must be positively surrounded by gay folks there at his many television gigs – when he comports with Perkins? To disparage a peaceful productive people for votes is nonsensical. How many more votes could Huckabee garner by saying something nice about gay folks. Oh, all the mothers of gay boys might reconsider their opposition to the man. Perhaps even a few million gay people might listen to his ideas on saving the country from the economic mess it is in. Hell, even a few independents and rethinking liberals might come round. But no, he’s going to break bread in an unholy alliance with the likes of Peter Sprigg. A man who wants to “export” gays. Absurd. Just so absurd. This is “speech” that is supposedly adding to the “debate” about the reality of gay people in this nation? Say it ain’t so. Really. Say it. It’s worse than a socialist thinking he’s going to seize the bank accounts of every American.

And Michelle Bachmann – what is she thinking when she goes to visit Sprigg and buddies? Here’s a group of grown men who are obsessed with gay folks to a pathological degree. She says she’s all for fiscal sanity – and then listens to a man who wants to arrest all the gay people? I would think the fall off in tax revenues coupled with the vast expenditures to do the arresting, incarcerating and exporting, and what have you, would blanch the woman’s fiscal mind. How could it possibly be reasonable for anyone to think that you can incarcerate 20,000,000 or so gay people? With what army? With what police state? In what prisons? And to what purpose? And this is to cut the budget? This is to restore fiscal sanity to the federal behemoth? This is to return to American families and individuals their hard earned money taken in a kingly tax burden we no endure? By arresting gay people and stomping out any sense of decency we might hold about ourselves after a lifetime of listening to how terrible we are?

This is the thing I just don’t get. And Huckabee and Bachmann interact with gay people everyday of their lives. As waiters and barristas, as flight attendants, as hotel desk clerks, as bank tellers, and in all manner of other sundry and every day professions. Everyday they meet gay people. Don’t they see this? Do these two really think that by talking to Tony Perkins they’re going to learn about the “gay menace”? The one they don’t see as they fly from one place in the nation to the other because it doesn’t exist? What else could they be talking to him about? Saving marriage & family from the divorce, the adultery, the abuse, the abandonment, the abortion, the baby kidnapping, the molestation, the beatings, the violence, and the vast social ills affecting the family in this nation? Tony don’t talk ’bout that. Oh no. He’s sure that gay people receiving a modicum of respect and a sullen toleration is the cause of it all. As soon as he stomps us into submission every family will have a unicorn and a rosy glow. He’s sure of it. We are, as the man says, the great threat to prefect families and the cause of it all its current problems. Boy, talk about powerful mojo. Us sissies got it!

Even more nuts is Justice Scalia who thinks what the nation needs to heal itself is a law outlawing gay people’s bliss.

And from this assault on reason, reality and decency you want us gay folks to become perfect citizens. Astounding expectations akin to alchemy. And then, even when we are the most peaceful productive citizens who have fine relationships we are still called evil because we exist. Egad, people, get a grip. And when you’re done stomping on us in petulant fits of malice, maybe we’ll be able to find our prince charming. And someone might write a story about a prince in a castle who found love among the stable boys and they live happily ever after. Yes, there are no fairy tales for fairies, and we don’t mind. Just don’t call us evil and we’ll do fine.










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