Queers for Palin
Gay Americans and traditional values.
I’ve been blogging for a year now, yet avoided a fundamental truth about me. I have commented on a dozen or more websites about the issue of gay people in America, but never addressed it on my own, except for proposing twainage as a substitute for the word marriage. And I know by writing this I risk scorn and hate, pity and disdain, and the loss of readers, and a whole new conceptualization of what I write on any subject by those who read it. Yet, with the amount I post so freely elsewhere, and after long reflection, I feel it’s time to launch my two bucks (I don’t have two cents on this, it’s bucks) into the reasons for Straight America to accept Gay America. We must all work to stop the socialists in our midst. And as a “Queer for Palin” I feel that I should present my reasons for being so. She’s got my vote, but my question is – does she want it? Even more importantly – will she seek it?
In our nation’s current quest for restoring Traditional American Values are gay Americans excluded, not included or included? The three are different. In the recent Beck extravaganza in Washington DC, were gay Americans considered a part of the fabric of liberty in this country? Or are all gays merely Socialist Democrats because of what a few self-appointed gay “leaders” claim? Or are gays simply not part of the situation today? I’m not sure. I’m fairly convinced now, that after decades of struggle, gay Americans are no longer excluded. The vitriol and legal actions that were directed at gays for so long no longer really exist, that’s for sure. Or at least have calmed down to just private comments, which gay people hear often. Yet, I don’t live in fear that I’ll be arrested for dating, nor am I concerned about some guy with a baseball bat coming into a gay bar to wreck havoc. That’s progress to me. Some gays worry that those days might come back, but I’m sure they won’t. I can’t imagine the TEA Party movement calling for raiding the gay bars or purposely excluding a gay man who supports Sarah Palin. But let me be clear on this – gay America has no leader, we have no spokesperson, we have no ideology – each gay man makes the decision for himself. We don’t talk much politics in the gay bars. And then only if someone comes along with with a public anti-gay screed. Often pretended to be new, it’s what we’ve heard so much before – we’re sick, demented, perverts, sinful, anti-family, and even somehow anti-American. It’s nonsense, but that’s what we hear all the time.
Are we “not included”? Well, so far, it seems we are not included. That’s what “don’t ask, don’t tell” is all about. Most people think that DADT is just a military thing. But it is not. Everywhere across America gay people are not asked, and we avoid telling. Straight America is comfortable with gays remaining hidden. You are uncomfortable when we mention that we’re gay. How many times have I heard “Ew, how disgusting, it’s a sin, you’re sick,” and onwards with the negativity. Yet, we are right there out in the open, mixed in among straight America, but still, we remain hidden. For when we “tell” we have no idea how the next straight person we encounter will react. We already know how our straight family, friends, neighbors, co-workers reacted, if we came out of the closet, as it’s called. Often we don’t tell because the attitude is apparent in the comments of any given straight American standing right there beside us. We gauge carefully who to tell, and remain hidden to the rest. We’re rarely asked if we’re gay or anything about the issue. And when we are asked we carefully gauge whether telling is safe or not. So it’s obvious that gay Americans don’t quite feel included yet, and no one is in a rush to include us. You didn’t ask, but I’m telling.
So, can gays be “included” in American traditional values? And what are American traditional values? That’s what is being discussed all over the blogosphere, and all through the news, and in the pulpits, and in courts, and at the kitchen tables of America when a guy tells his mother he is gay – where do gay people fit in this country? The new motto of 70% of America is “don’t tread on me.” That’s what’s on the flags at so many rallies. That’s the sentiment of 70% or more of Americans on so many issues. It’s apparent in poll after poll on the public issues of our day. 70% or more are opposed to the elites and the socialists in our midst.
And then there’s we gay people. Are we with the 30% or with the 70%? Only 52% of Californians wanted a ban on gay marriage. That’s not the 70% that’s miffed at our impending socialism. My contention is that gay Americans have been waving the don’t tread on us banner for decades, and are ready to join the larger movement, if we’re invited. We’ll do our part, however, even if we’re not. That’s what the gay rights agenda is – don’t tread on me, please. We exemplify American values in this regard. And in this time of calling for a renewal of America’s core values, are we invited? Or are we to return to a more brutal time of anti-gay activities and rhetoric? I think that if the TEA Party, the Republicans and conservatives, and even religious conservatives, reach out to gay Americans you will find a far more ready acceptance and support than you might expect. That translates to votes and political donations of time and money, and more people against the Socialist juggernaut. But we can’t join a group which will exclude us.
One thing for sure, being gay is not a Democratic or a Republican issue, for both parties only begrudgingly accept gays. Both Obama and McCain were against gay marriage. Bill Clinton signed into law the “Defense of Marriage Act.” A law which prevents marriage to defend it, but says not a word of the destructive power of divorce on marriage. Nor is it a capitalist or a socialist issue. I always point out that the Soviet Union blamed gay people on decadent capitalism at the same time America was blaming gay people on Godless communism. We were scorned equally by both. There is no more comfort in being a gay man incarcerated in Moscow in the 1960s than he was in Miami of the same era. Communist commissars denounced gay people with a fervor equal to a Baptist preacher. Being gay is not a political position, despite all attempts to make it so. Gay people join either party, or no party, but most are by necessity Libertarian, even if we don’t use that word.
But if Republicans and the TEA Party want to dislodge the socialists in our midst, then embrace gay men as best you can. It’s another few millions votes, lots of potential money, and more importantly, with gays concentrated in so-called liberal districts gays could well swing those districts to TEA Party candidates who truly espouse freedom, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to all. Scratch a liberal gay and you’ll find a libertarian right beneath the surface. Tell us how socialists killed gays and want to destroy our small businesses and tax us more and I’m sure many gay men will join the TEA Party movement.
Confusing the matter is that we don’t know two crucial things about gay America. Why are there gay people and how many are we? No one knows, though there be plenty of speculation. Everyone has their own favorite reason for why gay people exist. There are a multitude of reasons, from evil, sin, immorality, to psychological reasons, and psychiatric reasons, to who knows why. About the only reason not accepted by straight America seems to be the one that gay people have been proposing forever: We just are, and we have no earthly clue as to why, but we knew it from the time we first hit puberty. That’s what every gay man will say. Go ask, we’ll tell you. We have either accepted this reality and survived, or we suppressed it until it just boiled over and come out late in life, or committed suicide either quickly or slowly through drugs and booze. The pressures on a gay man to conform, to remain hidden, to carefully watch our words at all times is enormous, and that’s the cause of mental anguish in the gay community; it’s not because of the actual gayness. It’s dealing with an unwelcoming society that is the problem. The palpable relief we feel when we walk into an all gay environment is something to behold. All day we live don’t ask, don’t tell, and then later on at night we can be ourselves without the fear of what some straight person will say or do. But one thing we know, being gay is not a choice, and therefore cannot be a sin.
How many gay people are there? That’s a number not known or given. What are given are percentages, though of what section of the population is not said. Presumably only adult men, excluding all the gay boys who will soon come of age themselves, just as we who are adult now did. You know those boys, you ridicule them for being pansies, sissies, fruits, and worse. Sure, we may not be the manly men, robust and athletic, but instead we are the weaklings and sissies so often portrayed in stereotypes. Still, does anyone truly believe that all the slight, flimsy, campy, lisping, ninny, sissy, girly-boys who throw like girls are really choosing to be like this? How on earth could we possibly fake it for so long? Shouldn’t we get Oscars for acting throughout our lives like the stereotypical gay men of social derision?
So it’s said by some that 1% of the population is gay, and by others upwards of 10%. It depends on who you ask. Let’s settle on 5 or 6 percent, since that seems to be the case as can be shown. And if there’s 300 million Americans, and thus 150,000,000 men, then it stands to reason that 1% is 1.5 million men, and at the higher end, 15,000,000 men. Which is quite a spread. The lower number is absurd if only because more than 3% of the population shows up at gay pride parades which take place across the nation each June. There’s probably more than a million gay men at happy hour bars on Friday night. And not all gay men are out at the bars on any given night. 93% of all American men get married. Who is that other 7%? Well, a goodly number are we gay men. We are the confirmed bachelors of old, those said to never have met the right woman. We’re the confirmed bachelors of today, too. Still, a 5% figure gives us about 7,500,000 gay men. Except 1/3 or those are really under the age of 18, and so there’s only about 5,000,000 adult gay men running around the nation. But that’s 5,000,000 votes for liberty and the American way, if you’d only ask.
And if every gay man partners in “marriage” with another, that would be 2.5 million marriages. This is the number within the 70,000,000 marriages in this nation that is so fearful. It almost seems as if straight people believe that the institution of marriage is so fragile that allowing this small percentage to call themselves married will portend the end of the Republic and perhaps Civilization itself. But no society ever fell because it treated a tiny subset of it’s members kindly. Only through the grasping claws of big government and socialism did societies fall.
Though those 1/3 who are kids now are going to be gay adults, of that there is no doubt. That’s the fear, isn’t it? That some son will be gay? No one wants that, apparently. It’s the worst thing that’s said can happen. Oh the horrors of a gay son. Still, for every 100 boys born today some 6% will be gay. Which is why the percentage of gay people is consistent throughout the world. The same number in every culture, every race, every nationality, every country, throughout time immemorial. The number never goes up or down. It’s so obviously nature, and not nurture, choice, political decision, sin or immorality, nor illness of any kind, for that reason alone. If it was any of the latter, and not nature, the number would go up and down as societies changed, or even be different in different societies. It’s only how different societies deal with gays that changes; charitably most can be said to be against the prospect. Though, does any straight person ever consider the tenacity of gay people throughout history, in the face of astounding opposition, still coming to the fore and saying, “yes, I’m gay”? What does that take to do? What sort of man does this? Are we really thus that crazy? Or is it something so deep and intrinsic that it cannot be avoided? And why would the exact same percentage all over the world say the same thing regardless of how that society treats gays is surely a subject for a PHD dissertation one day.
Importantly, are gay people part of traditional American family values? Yes we are. We honor and love our parents, and when scorned by them we might only ask God forgive them for they know not what they do. On the other hand, what do you think all those momma’s boys are? You know, the ones who never get married, and take care of their parents when they are old? And the gay men and women who are willing to adopt the children no one else wants, for they be less than perfect? Gays understand what it’s like to “not be like everyone else” or “not normal” and “less than perfect,” and so are so much more in tune with those children with birth defects.
But one thing for sure, gays are not a part or a cause of the disintegration of the traditional family. We don’t cause the out of wedlock births. We are not among the 40% of marriages which wind up in divorce. We are not seeking abortions, for we don’t do anything which would lead to an unwanted baby. We are not the child abusers or wife beaters, nor are we even the child molesters. And to be sure – you can’t teach homosexuality, nor recruit anyone, nor change anyone into being gay. The gay agenda is not to make more gay people – that’s impossible – the number is what God Himself has allotted. No gay man ever tried to change anyone, or convince anyone to be gay. We know either you are or are not. In fact, most gay men say that “bisexuals” are merely gay men who can’t deal with it yet. And as for transgendered people, gay men are clueless. We don’t want to be women, we know we are men. We are not gender confused by any stretch of the imagination. The socialist gay groups might like to bring all four into one group, but these groups don’t represent gay men. They represent only themselves, thinking they’ll benefit from the impending socialist state. They’ll be sorry to find out they are not included. Indeed, the only political force that can include gay people are people for liberty.
However, I have often contended, much to the consternation of my fellow gay men, that being gay is a birth defect. Somehow something went “wrong.” We will not reproduce willingly (or we’re forced into marriages of convenience,) and thus are evolution’s dead end. What we do is surely not conducive to reproducing the species, and we are not unaware of the seeming disconnect that is. But our number is consistent, this “defect” just will not go away in human societies. And for those who contend that instinct is what drives procreation I point out that that means that gay men somehow are so powerful of mind as to turn instinct off completely. Which is quite a thing to do. But however weird it seems, we know it’s natural for us and only us to be gay.
It’s true that many religious figures and organizations have not accepted gay people. We have tried to join these churches, and have either had to lie about being gay, or be subject to all manner of attempts to “cure” us or “change” us or something, or simply be expelled. So we set up our own church, the Metropolitan Community Church. And then this group was refused recognition by the National Council of Churches. We gay people believe there is a reason for everything under the sun, as Ecclesiastes says. So we go about our business, asking to worship in our own way, and to be left alone. We still haven’t achieved success on this point. Our church is still not permitted to marry us when we want to get married. The Bible versus quoted against us is just so much selective readings, ignoring all the other prohibitions in the Bible. Go ask the crab-stuffed pork chop eating divorce minister with a cotton-wool blend shirt about what’s prohibited in the Bible. But one thing for sure, there is a Commandment – thou shall not bear false witness, or lie. And asking us to “don’t tell” is to ask us to lie – on purpose.
Nor is it we who have turned our backs on our families, but our families which have the problem. In modern times this is much less the issue, but it still occurs. Nary a month goes by without us encountering some young man who was thrown out by his parents, and is now terrified of what will happen in his life. This is the so-called Christian love, I’m told, to just cast away sons as so much garbage. Will we be invited as the people we are, however not “perfect” as desired, into our families? Will be included in family values in spite of our being born the way we are? Or are we to forever be excluded because straight people think being gay is against family values? Perhaps it’s a cruel joke nature plays, but it’s one that gay people have surmounted. Now it’s time for the straight world to take stock of the way you treat millions of your fellow citizens.
Still, what of other traditional American values?
If entrepreneurship and capitalism is an American value than gay people are in the fray with the best of them. We’ve had to open our own businesses or be free lancing project-oriented entrepreneurs because we had no choice. We were fired from so many jobs, or live in fear of being fired if our being gay is found out, that we had to make other arrangements. Or we were so obviously gay, stereotypically, that a hair salon or interior decorating business was about the only option for economic survival. Gay people have always been in the small business movement, that quintessential American traditional value. When was the last time a Republican visited a gay business group? Do you even know such things exist?
If wanting lower taxes and less rules and laws, and fewer federal regulations, and smaller government are American values, than count gays in. Has any TEA Party, Conservative or Republican gone to gay events to seek support?
If a strong defense is an American value we are there. So desperate are we to protect our nation we’ve joined the military – carefully lying about our love of boyfriend, for the greater good of love of country. We risk exposure and dismissal, scorn and even possible dishonorable status, but still we join, for we will sacrifice our own future to protect our country. We ask to serve, but are told no. I can see why up on the front lines, or down on the submarines, gay men might not be welcome, but surely there is a place in our armed forces for gay Americans to valiantly serve our country. Surely in the supply systems, and linguistics, and in a thousand other jobs in the armed forces gay men and women can serve proudly as Americans and still mention their boyfriend without fear of life and limb, career and future, being destroyed.
But remember too, until just recently gays were denied fundamental American rights – to peaceably assemble, for our bars were raided and our meetings broken up. To free speech, and indeed, being asked to lie continuously is not exactly freedom to speak. To have the right to privacy, which could not be done while we were under threat of arrest even in the privacy of our bedrooms. And even to live with the partner of our choice and utilize all the laws that all other Americans take for granted. We were excluded, now we are not excluded, though not quite included either. Perhaps one day we will be included. We don’t want special laws for us, we just don’t want special laws against us, as is still so frequently the case.
Perhaps a measure of a culture is how it treats the least within it. And nothing could be so least as gays, who are scorned and hated, pitied and despised, and told to hide in shame for being whom we are. None of the flocks of God are so excluded as gays, but we, the Pink Sheep, are accepting of all of God’s great and mysterious ways, which includes gay people for some reason, and ask only to be left alone. Don’t tread on us, please. Just take our votes and our money so we can all rid the socialist menace from America. Then you can go back to pondering if gay Americans deserve to be included, merely tolerated or are some intractable problem to be solved.
To really stir the pot of thought – would Sarah Palin treat a gay son as lovingly as she does her army son, or her challenged son, Trig? I believe she would, though might be put off for a moment on how to deal with it. I was fortunate in having a mother who quickly came to terms, and having a large and extended family which embraces me for who I am – cousin, uncle, son, brother. Now, will the TEA Party, Republican & Conservative political forces accept gay people or not?
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