Cash on the barrelhead

So the headlines today bring supposedly bad news. But not really. What it is is bad news for the big-government, government must do everything mentality. It’s also bad news for those under the gun of such a mentality (and gun it is if you don’t comply, of course.) Or is it? It could be wonderful news if you are an Obama supporter. Let’s see how this all works out.

Now, “LSU System Vice President Fred Cerise warned lawmakers Tuesday that budget cuts could cause the uninsured to go without health care.” Such is poppycock. Didn’t Mr. Cerise hear of the absolutely phenomenal new ObamaCare which will prevent any such thing? Or does Mr. Cerise not think that the wonder of all laws ever passed (the big fu… deal, as it were,) will work? If not, why does he not say so? Heck, why didn’t he say so during the run up to the shove down our throats the hugely unpopular new law? Why, it’s healthcare reform, man! Surely ObamaCare’s Trillion Bucks has the very money he needs?

He says four hospitals might close? For the lack of $67.8 million? Surely the hospitals can’t be on such an edge under his valiant leadership, could they? Why wasn’t he seeking minor cuts over the years of his self-valued service to the people so that when the obviously a-coming budget shortfall on a statewide basis came he would be prepared? Or just cut the waste and fraud anyway, just for the fun of it. Did he just run on fumes, hoping that somehow the, um, robustless economy under the, um, strongless stewardship of Obama, the economy surrounding his hospital bubble would be wondrous, while the rest went to the devil?

And, surely, surely, somewhere in Landrieu’s $300,000,000 for the state in ObamaCare there is enough for that, no? Wasn’t that the point of Landrieu’s late night capitulation to ObamaCare? To save the hospitals? Do give our dear Senator a call Mr. Cerise, to get that money which she “secured” for the state.

Or could it be that with the new healthier lifestyles pushed by every nanny state gendarme obviating the need for so many hospitals? Or did shifts in population, you know, voting with your feet, move people away from where the hospitals are? Is one of those unneeded hospitals in New Orleans, now bereft of half its former population? 250,000 less people sure looks to me like you could drop a hospital or two, but I’m no hospital administrator.

When asked, rather reasonably, by State Sen. Eric LaFleur “which four hospitals would close?” Mr. Cerise “resisted speculating.” Which leaves open the question, did he finally relent and speculate? Or did he fight off the temptation to give the “lawmakers” a blessed clue as to what the dickens did he mean? Our Advocate is silent on this salient point.

Still, there are 10 state run hospitals in a state with a declining population, and four “may” close. Is this a scare tactic by Cerise to get more money? Or is is just a reality of our times? And with outpatient clinics, and operate-today-send-them-home-tomorrow surgery of extraordinary sorts (like my father just had, and they were pushing him out before he even had his shoes on,) do we really need the 20th century concept of the big central hospital? In fact, would it be more efficient to close all the hospitals and put up mini-clinics, hospitals, and one stop health centers with a far more diverse geographical spread? There’s plenty of plaque space for Mr. Cerise to put his name on every one, though they be not as fancy as a big new and shiny old-style hospital.

State Sen. Lydia Jackson asked another reasonable question, but worded it oddly, as a statement: “the budget cut could be a backward way of pushing patients into community hospitals.” Oh my, out of one hospital, into another! The lack of healthcare implicit in that statement is, um, nowhere. Sounds like there’s another set of hospitals that are ready to take up any slack. And one would presume, again, with the wondrous new ObamaCare every dang hospital goer will have insurance to pay for the bills that are now covered by that $67 million that used to be in the state budget. No?

I mean, if the $67,000,000 was to cover the uninsured — who “may” now not get healthcare and die in the streets like so many Medieval plague victims — now there will be no more uninsured. It has been decreed: Thou shall have insurance, or else! So all those newly insured people will be able to pay for the care they formerly got for free without insurance and the hospitals will be able to earn the $67,000,000 they need directly from the insurance companies. I mean, really, ObamaCare is fixing all that, Mr. Cerise. Get with the program, sir.

But still, and what of administrators? Could there not be savings found there? Do we really need so many administrators pushing paper when we need, supposedly, four actual hospitals? What sort of healthcare do administrators provide? Is filling in and signing the endless forms some sort of physical therapy? And why does no one ever talk about losing some of them? I’d say there’s $67,000,000 in administrators who could be gainfully employed in the booming economy of the Obama Era, as we are told there is, right there today on the front page — “building increase boosting economy.” Sounds like construction needs people, though where pushing paper qualifies one for hanging sheetrock, that I don’t now.

Then Cerise says “the uninsured could turn to other hospitals for emergency care … “ which is what most people require, for the emergency is the surprise, no? So that’s why they have insurance, and they will, or else!, per ObamaCare – so what is Cerise worried about? Current law already covers those who show up in emergency rooms without means to pay. No one, absolutely no one, will be denied healthcare when they truly need it – in an emergency. Nor will they be denied their administrator. For I’m sure the whole LSU system is top heavy with administrators. I couldn’t imagine a lean, mean paperpusherless operation. No, I really can’t.

Then Mr. Cerise jumps the shark, which I think is the expression when something so unbelievable happens that a TV show or a politician is just beyond rationality. Here’s what he’s quoted as saying:

You can’t show up in a doctor’s office without insurance.”

HA!

Did the man ever hear of cash on the barrel head? I know I paid $80 for a complete physical once, on my 40th birthday. And I know that other times, without insurance of any kind, but a nice bank account, I walked into doctor’s offices and received rather nice care of the sort I needed for a certainly reasonable price I thought. I didn’t lose a spleen to an incompetent or an arm and a leg to a crook and a quack. Really, Mr. Cerise, get real. Then too I’ve done dentists and eye doctors for cash, or credit. In fact, I’ve always paid cash for my glasses, without which I don’t get out of bed, blind as I be. They are as much a prostetic device for me as a wooden leg would be for someone else. Where would this genius get the bizarre notion that one couldn’t show up in a doctor’s office without insurance? That is the BIG mentality. Cash? That’s so well, like, responsible for yourself yesterday, or something.

And he says, Mr. Cerise does, that “training programs and emergency departments would cease to operate.” Oh, really? Under wonder of all laws? Surely it can’t be true that in a $1,000,000,000,000 (is that enough zeros for Trillion? My mind reels! Add zeros as needed, please.) comprehensive healthcare reform bill of 2700 pages and another few hundred pages of fixes and adendums, and then within the thousands of new rules and regulations bursting forth from the 150 or so new bureaucratic agencies that we are still finding in the wonder of all laws, just as Nancy Pelosi told us we would, there is not one dime for training and emergency? No, Mr. Cerise, you are not with the ball game – there’s healthcare for all right now. It has been decreed, from on high. I heard Obama say it right between his basketball discussion and his golf game, that “No American will be denied healthcare!”

So what’s Cerise worried about? Surely he got the memo? How could one miss a 2700 page memo? And if I was a state lawmaker, I’d just cut 100% of the state budget for healthcare – Obama said his law will solve all problems forever and no American would ever be denied the care they needed again.

And for Mr. Cerise to say, as he did: “but more specialized healthcare needs could go untreated” questions the very veracity of our President. I dare say he might get called upon the carpet of the Oval Office for offering such offal of news as people going without healthcare with ObamaCare’s comprehensive reform of the system. What is a mere LSU System VP in the face of Obama? He’s nothing. Take a breather Mr. Cerise, it’ll all be OK.

Just as good as the oil leak, which proceeds anon. And Obama, in between fracases in Chicago and complaining about Sarah Palin did say he’s going to plug that hole. The way he’s going to do it, apparently, as seen in today’s other big headline, is to throw a criminal investigation and a lawsuit at it. So much paper could be generated by such a maneuver that there’s no way the oil would be able to break through the tonnage of a “forceful in our response” paper blizzard now promised by the Attorney General of the US, Mr. Holder. A man who can’t read a ten page law aimed at plugging a hole on our southern land border is now going to bring forth a number of pages of law aimed at plugging a hole on our southern sea border. I guess that’s the purpose of it. You know, to give BP executives something to do in between fighting an oil leak.

Of course, given the complexity of the laws, and the royalist vagueness of them all, there’s almost certainly to be good grounds for criminal and civil attorneys to have a field day of destroying BP. In fact, so gone is BP, yet too big to fail, that Robert Reich, socialist professor of labor at Harvard, and former socialist psychophant of Billy Clinton did call for Obama to simply nationalize the firm and be done with it. Which will of course deny Mr. Holder the opportunity to plug that hole, since he can’t very well sue to destroy a government agency. But nice to know the socialists are being more above board these days in calling for nationalizing industries. For awhile they were hiding in the Democratic Party as blue dogs or some critter.

And surely, in our times of brilliant governing officials, in our boosted economy, who are able to provide healthcare to all and stop a little ol’ oil leak, there is absolutely no cause for alarm of the sort Mr. Cerise gives us, or of the alarm expressed by Holder of anything amiss, or of the folks on the ground who are doing what they can to get around federal administrators causing grief … just where do these people think they are? In the bad old days of George Bush? Why, this is the new era of government competence! Worry not, alarmists, Obama is right there on top of things since day one.

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