Not one of those, again!
Ah ha! A crisis! I do declare! Whatever will they think of next? Man your battle stations, incoming crisis!
I mean really, so what if the government borrowed trillions from the Social Security system to pay for something or other. They did put in IOUs in the lock box, didn’t they? And those are backed by the full faith and credit of the United States, right? What are we Greece, or something? Do you think the government will run out of money? They got printing presses galore for just this very problem, and it’ll boost paper sales for at least one small paper company with one client. Why, as some woman in the administration said when asked just the other day if $1 trillion is enough, the lady did say “Who can say what is enough?” Indeed, who can?
Makes no difference who the lady is, for if it wasn’t her, or her words were “taken out of context” as she’ll say if the words do raise a ruckus, for it is the mindset of this administration. Indeed, it is the mindset of many a Democrat – and Republican too — even the ones prickled by presidential meddling, as was reported just yesterday. Or perhaps it is all those NO votes that the Democratic leadership can’t make the Democratic ranks change to “Yes, let’s wreck the nation.” Still, Gibbs of the White House has hope that in just the next few days the votes will appear to shred the Constitution and devolve the country to some happy nirvana of the president’s mind.
And just before the president’s mind jets off to Indonesia to really see how to run a kleptocracy! Really, I mean, Indonesia, of presidential fond residence and boy-statue hidden somewhere, has 250,000,000 people, and sits on fantabulous wealth of all kinds, just like we do: oil, gold, coconuts, — OK, we don’t have too many coconuts, but we got wheat, corn and soybeans, which the Indonesians import from us with wild abandon with the evils of global trade. It’s endless what they have to make a go of it. Why, they even have the opportunity to make quite a ferry system between tropical beach resorts. Alas, instead they wastrel and squirrel away the wealth, while preventing much new creation of it, on just the very thing that Obama wants to bring to this country – the glories of big socialist government. Of course our sage legislators hold no match in corruption with their Indonesia counterparts. No word on junkets to figure out the best methods, help the airlines and avoid townhall meetings at the same time.
Meanwhile, back to the crisis. Whose? Well, to read the Advocate, the most important crisis of the moment is some conviction of a guy for the murder of his girlfriend’s son. It is crisis indeed, just not for many of us. Indeed, only for a rather amazing few. Certainly for the 2 year old done in. Certainly for the mom, and other assorted relatives. And too, but righteously, a crisis for Mr. Holliday, who apropos to his name, is going on some sort of holiday of his own making but not liking. Yes, it’s terrible for some, one is guilty, but what does this have to do with my life? How does this affect the 500,000 or more residents of our fair city? Or the 4.5 million residents of this state? Why is this the most important story of the day?
Yet, down there, typeface half the size, is the odd headline: “Benefit crisis is here at last” Why the happy tone? Sounds like it’s glory days and hallelujah, here at last – A Crisis. Which must, no doubt, be taken advantage of. The best socialist minds with royalist leanings are at work right now, fresh from the showers, to solve this crisis. Yet, why is this a crisis? The money is there right? Don’t they all say that? They who would order about vast swaths of the economy? Perhaps this is why they don’t have the votes. Perhaps this is why they don’t like the meddling. It’s all well in hand, not to worry. Good thing too, for surely the current crisis should be attended to most immediately. Why, it might even interrupt Obama’s plans to plead with his village to put his statue back. Or maybe he’s scouting out some small outcropping in the harbor on which to build a pedestal on which to put his visage on high, so all might gaze at the 8th wonder of the world. Or is it the eighth grader? Hmmm.
But crisis? No! Say it ain’t so! Why, Social Security need only go down to the friendly government owned bank and cash in that IOU and voila! Money for all, and a unicorn in every pear tree.
This writer, one Stephan Ohlemacher, bright wizard of the Associated Press is quite humorously sanguine, or cavalier, even insouciant, about the whole thing: “Too bad the Federal government already spent the money over the years on other programs, ….” Yeah, too bad. Aw shucks. Gee whiz. What a bummer. Like someone went for the last slice of pizza while watching the big game and missed the interception which led to the handoff that led to the lateral pass to some rookie who ran for the touchdown that won the game. You missed it pizza boy, too bad.
Ah, but young Stephan, and he must be young to write this clueless follow up, helpfully adds: “… preferring to borrow from Social Security rather than foreign creditors.” Well, to think our own government would raid our piggy bank rather than put us in debt to some foreigner! What great guys! They are to be thanked, no? For avoiding foreign creditors? Or maybe the Greeks should have insisted on buying the US debt, so now in their crisis of similar sort, they could cash in Those IOUs, with the same money which is going to be needed to pay for These SS (and doesn’t it look spookier when abreviated like that? Sure does, oooh,) IOUs the government preferred to take.
Now, young Stephan, question: where do you think the “too-bad, aw shucks” government is going to get the bucks to cover the IOUs, no matter who holds them? I can tell, you neophyte in the world of government finance, that they may find preferring foreign creditors over taxing Americans quite a bit more convenient given the irrascibility of the citizens to pay more taxes to Indone… no, to our federal government.
Still, then finally, the Advocate does inform us that Ms. Wanna’ drink? Pelosi “may lack” the votes of her own party, because of Republican refusal to further destoy the economy, truth, justice and the American way and become a province of Indonesia. No, she definitely lacks, as the article of “May” turns to the ugly truth in-text: Yes, we have no votes for banana republichood. Still, we could join the grand arhipelago of Muslims, we are after all, just a few islands away. We’d be 50-50 Muslim and other almost immediately, how cool is that! And you know, once you leave the Eastern Shores of Bula Bula or some small habitation on a coral reef in far eastern Indonesia, sort of their Maine, well, the next island is Hawaii – where conveniently not only did Obama also reside, but they have an Obama Day proposed. Better, they are trying to bring back some vestiges of the Great Hawaiian Kingdom. Obama may well declare himself King of Hawaii, (he’s got enough vowels in the name,) and move the capital from the cesspool of Washington where there’s all that obstruction of his will. And to be the king, ah, for there is no greater way to look forward than to honor absolute monarchs who threw virgins into the volcanoes to stop the Republicans. Now with Obama has King he can deem the entire Continental US a reparation to the Hawaiian Crown for past mainlander misdeeds and simply run the biggest pineable plantation on earth. What a plan!
Why, here’s an idea to help: Obama can remove, in a great bowing gesture of supplication and apology to Japan, the Arizona memorial and put up that missing boy-statue. It’ll create jobs too, both in debris removal and pedestal construction — and in riot police to quell the mobs, but still, good government jobs, with health care. Why, it might even give all the aging World War II vets and widows heart attacks, freeing up vast new resources for some new programs or to pay back those IOUs. Only speculation of course, but something must be done. There’s a crisis!
Then last night I found this brilliant solution to the multitude of crises of our times:
TOM BROKAW: Tom, are we at a kind of turning point in America in terms of being able to make this a functioning country again, or are we dysfunctional?
TOM FRIEDMAN: Well this is what worries me. I’ve been saying for awhile Tom, there’s only one thing worse than one-party autocracy, the Chinese form of government, and that’s one-party democracy. In China, if the leadership can get around to an enlightened decision it can order it from the top down, OK. Here when you have one-party democracy, one party ruling, basically the other party just saying no, every solution is sub-optimal. And when your chief competitor in the world can order optimal and you can only produce sub-optimal? Because what happens, whether it’s health care or the energy bill, votes one-through-fifty cost you a lot. Fifty to fifty-nine cost you a fortune. And vote sixty: his name’s Ben Nelson! And by the time you’ve made all those compromises, you end up with the description David [Brooks] had of the health care bill, which is this Rube Goldberg contraption. I really hope, I hope personally it passes. I hope it works. But I can’t tell you I think it’s optimal.
I mean really, can’t get more clear about the intent of our elites to bring us the glories of socialism, nay, communism! You can even hear the new national anthem – Victoria Jackson’s “There’s a communist in the White House.”
Sorry no link, but well, if you found me you can find that video. Hurry before Chinese wonder-gov comes and puts a kabosh on that.
Oh yeah, here’s a nice answer to the socialists: http://www.thecontract.org/
Here though, is something to get your mind off the mush: www.hopenchangecartoons.com
Oh, ridicule, holy be thy name, do not forgive their trespasses, and lordy bring the pox upon them lampooned.
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