Saturday is cartoon day

Saturday cartoons indeed.

Well, now, our Advocate made me giggle this morning — “La. Delegates criticize talks” blares the banner headline — re: the Health-Care Submit (oops, summit,) in Blair (Witch) House on Thursday.

Really? Let’s quote Gerald Shields of our paper quoting Mary Landrieu our Senator — “The president was right to bring members of the House and Senate to talk face to face in search of common ground on health-care reform.” Uh huh. Can’t be more “critcal” than to say Obama was “right” to do anything. Why calling him a professor is deemed racists, so saying he’s right must be vile indeed. Little indeed, is more pure of “criticize” than to agree with someone, I guess. Maybe. And what was the common ground you ask? Why, they all agreed that they were all at Blair House. Such agreement itself is a step in the right direction in our contentious times. Why they did not sit at a round table, as was required by the Viet Cong Socialists back in Paris in the Mid-1970s when they asked for submission, is not known.

Meanwhile, Shields writes: “… nothing to sway members of the LA congressional delegation on the need to overhaul the way health-care [what is this new hypen thingy?] is delivered and is paid.” So, nothing’s changed – and this is news? Hmmm.

Oh yeah, health-care, hyphen or no, will be delivered in exactly the same way it always has been – doctors, nurses, lab techs, candy-stripers, et. al. will continue to deliver it exactly as they have for centuries – hands on, as conscientiously as possible, with the latest and best means possible, and with as few human mistakes as possible – with the first order of business, the Prime Directive if you will – “Do No Harm!” in the forefront of their minds. Absolutely nothing will change in the delivery of health care [screw the hyphen] – how do I know this? Well, Obama and the rest of his groupies tell me so — “nothing will change” says he. “You’ll keep your insurance, your doctors, your … “ everything. So why bother to, um, change anything, is, um, hard to say. No change = change >> Orwell giggled too, no doubt.

But, aye, there’s the rub — “is paid.” Will costs go up or down? No one can say. Will anyone get more or less? No one can say. Will anybody be left out in the cold to die? No. Will all be tended to, no matter what? Yep. So this is to be changed? To what? Beats me. They don’t know either, those Obamaphiliacs, or they would have voted it in already, but they are in disagreement on that side of the aisle, criticizingly so, it appears.

Oh yes, — who is to pay for it? Why, people paying for their own care directly is to be thrown out baby and bathwater combined – so that people can send their money to Washington so that Washington can send the money back to the providers who would have gotten paid directly but will now get paid indirectly. No finer example of “overhaul” is to be found then putting in a layer of bureaucrats between payer and payee. Doctors, et al, will be paid what they’ve been paid. But instead of directly, or through insurance companies, or the plethora of “public options” already available to the public – except that now there is a new layer of obfuscation in the process. It is to be marvelled at, such “change” is. Myself, I’m taken aback by the length, breadth, height and depth of this sort of change.

So good is this program that Nan Pelosi did declare – with as straight a face as she could manage – that this ObamaCare will create “instantly” 400,000 new jobs. Yes, indeed. Bureaucrats all, but they are jobs, which is not to be sneezed at, lest you be fined, and Joe Biden’s kids not be able to leave their homes lest fear of H1N1 (and who thought up this brilliant designation of the greatest peril of our times …. oh wait, that’s right, ’tis no peril whatsoever, oh well, their bad) destroy their chances of following dear old dad from putting his foot in his mouth. Quoth the V-P: “my job is to do nothing.” Why, he’s Kennedyesque in his belief that government service is not work.

Meanwhile, the Hippocratic Oath to Do No Harm is being chucked by the Hypocritic Oath of Socialists to do as much harm to anyone around, as proven since the first Marxist – Karl himself – sued his wife, his sister-in-law and the rest of the family for the inheritance from which he was cut off from by his wife’s father for being a Lazy S.O.B. I think right after that he did put a plank in the Manifesto agaist inheritance, which the Democrats have loved ever since – Death Taxes for All! What a slogan. Why, Marx, who never had a job in his life except writing 800 pages of turgid text amidst abominable math and faulty logic while sitting in the British Library in London for 12 years, created serveral hundred thousands of jobs immediatel too. Mostly in undertaking and gulag guarding, but good jobs they were. With health-care benefits, too. Oh well, such are the glories of Poppa Marx. I did, while in London, go to see the grave of the miscreant – I can report he’s still dead. But, alas, his ideas live on zombie-like (anyone can hyphenate!) a century and a half after his fortunate demise in one of the most capitalistic cities in the world, which he did hate living in so much he never left, not even in a pine box. Such fortitude to live in the enemy camp is to be commended.

Other funnies? Well, turns out the National Geographic magazine is still pushing global warming and sea rise well after the sea rise was discovered to be because a drunk made a left hand turn off a short pier and did think the ocean rose above his head and he felt warm, thus warming = higher seas. Now, I suppose, given the lead time to publish a magazine, that the mush-words were in the tank, ready to go, after the unfortunate pulling of the One Report in support of sea rise, due to math as accurate as Marx himself used – which is to say – very faulty. But did not the NatGeo folks ever watch an old movie – you know, where the reporter screams “STOP THE PRESSES!” over the din and clank of ink splattering on paper? So that they might correct the inconvenient falsehoods? Or will the retraction and correction be on next month’s cover, so that the NatGeo name might be resurrected from the mushpit into which it walked itself? We shall see.

Other comedy? The University of Tennessee is going to give Al Gore an Honorary Degree – seriously, no really, seriously – for the Good Works he’s done. Astounding perfidy in the halls of higher learning is to be expected, for they are mush-heads. I wonder if – nay, I demand – the listeners will laugh him off the stage, as has been happening frequently of late. Criminal charges of Educational Fraud and Misuse of Public Tax Dollars for said UT should also be filed – with the subpoena handed out at the same moment as Al’s sweaty (from Global Warming, hehehe) hands take the Honorary Degree which he does not deserve. We shall see about that, too. Or are the prizes to be for Biggest Liar? Oh yes, I think there is such a contest near Gatlinburg, in his state, for such lies as might be told.

Still, more mirth? Oh yes, it’s never ending – Belize and Cuba, tropical paradises both – have had Record Breaking Cold. Belize doesn’t really mind, for they can afford to import some fuel for the warmth machines at their disposal. But Cubans? Well, they are quite upset at rising seas, for it makes the already perilous journey on open ocean in old floatable Volkswagons all the more difficult. Not to mention the increased hurricanes which do imperil their journeys. No word on if the Hollywood Socialists, oh so different than so many other garden variety socialists, for they are famously rich, will fly down to Cuba to both help the Cubans stay warm and to help them escape the clutches of the King of Cuba and the reigning regent.

More merriment? Sure, how could it stop, in these times? The Bolivarian Socialists, different than Hollywood Socialists, or Beltway Socialists, or National Socialists, or Democratic Socialists, or other variations on the theme of “it’s good to be the socialists so long as we have the money” socialism of our times, did watch in utter horror as Hugo Chavez’s long awaited excoriation of George Bush was cut short by the failure of electricity at a most delicate moment of disdain, hate and delusion, leaving the Caracas Socialists utterly unknowing of the true state of the evil of Mr. Bush, now out of power some 14 months, but still, so powerful that he is responsible even for the 1.9 Trillion Dollar deficits of the man who Did Not Want to Inherit the mess, but spent 2 years working on doing just that, for he had a plan, as socialists do, to solve the problems at hand. One marvels how Venezuela is to make it through the next round of arms buying from the Russians without Mr. Bush to use as the excuse to buy the guns – for Bush was a Cowboy! Ready to Invade! Obama invade? Hardly, or at least not Venezuela, for as Chavez did point out, Obama is busy invading Haiti, so that he might get a few million more African-Carribean votes for his ever fading chances of re-election.

Could there be more funnies about this day? Sure there could – It seems NBC did put out a report that Obama’s health-care plan would cost – calm down, hold on, sit tight – 900 Trillion Bucks. Which is some 80 times larger than the US economy this very day. Now that is Change indeed, and not even small change.

Well, my brain now befuddled by mirth and merriment, I have no more energy to expend in laughter at the mush, and it might imperil my health, which would negatively impact on the budget, and might then wind me up incarcerated for the good of the people’s purse, so I shall stop and await the color comics tomorrow. I shall, though, Liberace-like, laugh all the way to the cushion bank on the sofa for a warm winter’s nap, it being way too cold outside in our time of global something or other.

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1 Comment

  1. Robert Feeley

    The Middle Class Task Force Report is in – an SPN Headlines exclusive:

    http://stupidassnews.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/middle-class-task-force-report-sucks-being-you/

    Keep smiling! 🙂

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