The Rising Tides

The Democrats in the House of Representative passed a Trillion Dollar spending bill. It is reported in an unsigned, undated front page article. Perhaps the inside article is signed and dated. Who cares, really, who wrote the mush? Still, we should. Well, lo, behold, it was another AP “writer.” This one a Mr. Taylor. No word from the Advocate’s Washington Bureau. Perhaps Gerard Shields took the day off.

Still, at nearly the same time the House voted to increase the Debt Ceiling by 1.5 Trillion Bucks. That means that there is 400 Billion in debt incurring authority that the House did not access. The slouchers.

And when this year’s 1.1 Trillion is gone? Why, next year another 1.5 Trillion Bucks in credit will be voted into existence. Imagine if you could vote yourself a credit card debt limit increase every time you needed a few bucks. And then you could pass that debt on to your kids as their inheritance. Why, you would be spending yourself out of debt, as the president said is good. You might even consider, as our Congress did, using money borrowed to pay off the money you borrowed just so recently.

The Debt Ceiling is the line in the sand drawn by the Congress to ensure that they do not spend a dime more of money that they don’t have. Then the sands of time erase the line, and the Congress will be confused about where it was, so draw a new line. Meanwhile, the Tide of Debt rises onto the Sands of Time and eventually the rising sea swamps the land on to which the debt is placed. It’s called Global Spending Until the Printing Presses Are So Hot that the sea of debt rises from the melting of the value of the currency, which is not under Congress’s immediate control.

This 1.1 Trillion comes in 1088 Pages. That’s just shy of a billion bucks a page. What is the money for? For “447 Billion in operating budgets with about $650 billion in payments for federal benefit programs such as Medicare and Medicaid” One would think that merely giving 450 Billion Bucks for existing “operating budgets” would not require 450 pages (a billion a page, remember?) Nor that paying for existing programs would require another 650 pages at a billion a page. Still, it does. But if a one page “all federal agencies will divide 450 Billion on a pro-rata basis of 10% increase on last year’s budget,” would suffice, what is the other 449 pages for? Beats me.

Taylor writes to us that this is for an increase in programs “under immediate Congressional control.” One would think, too, that all federal spending was under “immediate” control of Congress. And what is the word “immediate” signifying? Is it “direct”? Is it “our job”? Is it “we got to rush before anyone notices”? Hard to tell, really. The word “immediate” is actually an old usage for the word “directly,” “in our hands,” and “under our control.” The usage sort of went out in the early 1900s. So glad Taylor, and perhaps the House, is using a word as it was used back when McKinley was president. Such modern usage is to be commended. Perhaps the spending could be called Groovy, too.

Now, some portion of the 650 Billion is for Medicare. A program that is both to be stripped of 450 billion in “waste and fraud” by the Senate and also to take on another 15 or 20 million people under proposals advancing behind closed doors behind which Senators are locked. No word on if the 650 Billion represents the total after the 450 Billion in cuts, or before. If it is an even split, 325 Billion for each Medicare and Medicaid then one wonders, too, if our Senator Landrieu might be able to procure a billion for our state’s Medicaid program. That would be far better, certainly, one would suppose, than the measly 100 to 300 million she did “secure” in the still not passed bill that is shapeshifting as I write. In fact, it seems to change faster than I can type, and I type 50 words per minute.

Suppose, for fun, that one can type a page every two minutes. Fresh stuff, out of the mind and on to paper. For 1088 pages that would be 2,176 minutes. Divide by hours and one gets about 36.5 hours. My, what busy folks. 36 hours to type up 1088 pages to spend 1.1 Trillion. I do believe that both Ripleys and Guiness Records should be called in to validate what is probably the fast drunken spending spree in history. It might even be unprecendented. Now, these posts I write take about an hour, and they are probably no less complicated then legislation affecting 300,000,000 people. And so at this rate we’d get 1088 hours – or 28 weeks at 40 hours a week of writing. Where do these folks find the time? Well, they do work weekends, which is commendable.

Now, the Senate is rushing to take up this bill, to begin debate. Yes, they are debating 2000 pages of new health care taxation, and, oh, I don’t know, 1500 pages of new Energy Taxation, and of course, 1088 pages of continuing taxation, and also a few hundred pages giving the EPA the authority to do what it did just the other day, and also any number of 1000s of pages of new taxation, rules, regulations, laws, and whatever, at a pace so furious that Santa is slow in comparison. He visits a mere Billion Homes in one night. But the Congress of The United States, assembled, is “debating” 5000, 6000, even 7000 pages of new taxes, laws, rules, regulations, mandates, requirements, and Lord knows what else. All so that they can wrap it all up before Christmas itself.

Miraculously, during all this debate, the Congress still has time to debate the order in which college football teams will qualify for playoffs and such other important matters of state like a resolution commending the 2,500 year old philosophy of Confucious. He, like Jesus, said “render under Caeser what is Caesar’s.” And Confucious thought that pretty much everything was the Emperor’s (a substitute word for Caesar, and for Czar, too) The Chinese Emperor for whom Confucious rendered such sage advice met behind closed doors too. So closed it was called the Forbidden City. Congress no doubt looks on in envy at the smooth running of the modern Chinese Emperor’s People’s Congress.

No word on if the football plays themselves will be included in an omnibus taxation bill to support college sports more, nor if the college Bowl Championship Series is now a part of the stimulus package, the jobs summit proposals, health care reform, cap and trade greening our land, or the legislation that will be required to transfer billions of United States Citizen Dollars to murderous regimes the world over which are assembling in Copenhagen to see if they might get, under the Parliament of the World, immediate control over the Public Purse of the American Citizen.

The murderous regimes of the world are doing their part by putting their jackbooted footprint onto the carbon foot print of their citizens by shooting them in the streets like Iran, or killing them in the fields like Sudan, or plowing them under like Zimbabwe, or just keeping them on a prison island like Cuba. Such destruction of life will of course solve overpopulation problems, and lower national health care costs, and produce jobs in the jackbooted forces needed for the repression. All noble causes. The Nobel Peace Prize committee, in Royal Hall Assembled, are, I think, working to see if a Nobel should be awarded for Climate Control to the murderous regimes. Norway is, though, already sending a billion in oil revenues to such regimes so that they might be able to attend the Summit of Summits in Copenhagen.

Still, Harry Reid, leader of the Senate under his immediate control, has time to come to Louisiana to raise funds for his reelection in Nevada. Mary Landrieu is assisting the immediate event. That Reid is almost sure to lose in Nevada, and the people there are not donating to him the funds under their immediate control, is not going to stop him from breaking from his weekend trysts spending untoward billions, and come to New Orleans to raise funds from the good people of this state so that he might screw further the people in his own. There is no word on if Reid will be shown the glories of drunken spending that takes place on Bourbon Street by Landrieu the Senator, or Landrieu the Mayoral Candidate or Landrieu the Ghost of Christmas Past that was their dad, who did his own drunken spending sprees that did absolutely nothing to rectify the situation in that fair city by the swamp.

Me? I’m going to increase my debt limit so that I might give 100 Bucks to increase my stimulus spending on drunken spending by 10% across the board, and help a liquor salesman retain his job. I shall perhaps, in closed door session locked in, open debate to see if I should go to Nevada to see if I can augment the funds that are not forthcoming from the casinos here.

And lest anyone think I like Vitter the Swingin’ Critter more than the Landrieu 300, (the new Chrysler?) do not be alarmed. It is just that Landrieu is in the news more. Perhaps Vitter is being tested by his wife over his infidelity, I do not know. But be calm, I like neither. Whether Rome is burning because of Twiddedeedee or Twiddledeedum is a matter of some irrelevance. As to whether the 787 billion buck big bank bailout is a Bush-McCain-Republican initiative or an Obama-Reid/Pelosi-Democratic initiative is immaterial. The politics of the thief is irrelevant to the tomfoolery thievery thumped on our toes.

Our Advocate does inform us though, that Christmas is but 14 days away, keeping me under immediate control of the pressing news of our day.


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