I sort of found out what the BCS is today. Not that I needed to know. Nor that I cared. Nor that anyone I knew personally sought to inform me, or to interest me in whatever it is. No, I am informed because My Congress Assembled saw fit to consider legislation to reorder the “bowl championship series.” Hmmm. Would that be the bow-wow bowls in which the dogs of Congress wallow their muzzles? Would that be the bowl of mush championship cook-off that Congress operates behind locked doors, the recipe not known nor given? Hmmm. Oh, it is sports. Not good enough to invite the winning team to honor with political favor. Not good enough to pass a resolution praising Little League or College Sports Day or something. No, to actually order the manner in which the football teams in our nation’s colleges will play for the spectacular honor of being the “national champ.” And if the nation is involved, well, then, Congress must act or government shall perish from this earth. And so, in a cold induced stupor I did think this:
There can be no doubt that the Congress will soon consider legislation that will change all the team names and colors, to be more politically correct. For all pro and college, and little league and pre-K sports. Since Congress funds so much sports, whether through outright funding colleges, and tax breaks for rich sports teams, and many other ways, not to mention the conveniently well placed Title IX, well, then, it is time to make the rules. Indeed, rules could be changed in all manner of ways to make the sports fairer, to even the playing field so to speak. My imagination knows no bounds for the proposals that a Department of Sports (the DOS) should decree and define for every aspect of sports with a sweeping Sports Care Reform, or overhaul, or whatever it is being called. A grand feature of which is that athletes will be told to exhale less, even if that requires less exertion, so that an UnGodly amount of C02 is not emitted into our fair land.
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