Help for Obama and America

You got to laugh, and cry.

Sometimes the mush is so deep one needs hip boots. I try to keep my posts short, two pages on my word processor, but really, it is hard, given the deepness of the mush today. I can’t even do it all justice really. The front page is just so wacky today that I’m stumped on how to tie it all together. But I’ll give it a good try.

First, our president “Proposes new stimulus, jobs spending” as the headline has it this morning. He’s doing something! The sentence with presidential quote is “Obama said the US has had ‘to spend our way out of this recesson.’ ” At a “jobs summit” that had nothing but government people, academics and professors, and Fortune 500 corporations – the three groups that do no hiring or job creating to speak of – he had this brilliant epiphany. 80% of new jobs come from small businesses and entrepreneurs, none of which were invited to the “summit.” Perhaps they were busy creating jobs and avoiding the tax man.

The “has had” is from Tom Raum, another AP “writer” — doesn’t the AP have a reporter anywhere? Or are they all just expository writers? Surely, one would have thought that ‘going forward’ — as is said all the time — we would “have” to do something – not “has had” — the past tense.

Meanwhile, in fact-land — at the time of the first stimulus the unemployment rate was about 7% — after the stimulus it was 10%. Yep, very effective. Why so effective? Well, it seems, in the real world, the stimulus funds to stimulate businesses comes from the very businesses that now need new stimulation. From where else does the government get the money? Well, it could just inflate the currency, which should give everyone just oodles of cash. Lots of zeros does make on richer on paper after all.

And lo – a cool 200 borrowed billion bucks is still sitting around unspent from the first stimulus. Over which Congress is fighting on how to spend the borrowed money like no tomorrow. But we need to spend more! Which reminds me of a song lyric: “more more more, how do you like it, how do you like it?” I believe it was by KC and the Sunshine Band. Maybe I’m wrong. Still, Obama and his people are certainly akin to a sunshine band for sure.

The president, being a community activist and a lawyer, simply has no earthly clue as to economics as should now be apparent to anyone. It is not though. For many still believe that government spending will help anyone “create jobs.” Why, the president still has 47% of the people on side. The rest are opposed, some very oppposed. The number opposing him is rising so fast that it is a tide that is lifting all boats. That brought consternation to Harry Reid, who likened such opposition to slave owning, and Kent Conrad, who said simply “go somewhere else.” Ah, such great senators we have around us!

Yet, it is impossible for the government to spend its way out of a recession that was caused by government spending in the first place. Indeed, so befuddled is the president’s plan that he’s going to go to Congress “to work … on deciding how to pay for it.” Yes, indeed. Sort of like hiring a house painter at your house and after the work is started you go to your relatives to figure out how to pay for it. But the government, to give money to people, has to take it from them in the first place. And charge for the privilege. I’d say about a dime on the dollar is the cost of government money. And to invest $1.10 to gain a dollar is not exactly good business math. In fact, it is called a “loss.”

Who else tried this in the past? Herbert Hoover. He had a jobs summit, which led to the Depression. Then Franklin Roosevelt had a bigger jobs summit, and that got us the Great Depression. Then FDR had an even bigger jobs summit which got us a 10 year Great Depression. But Obama, new and improved that he is, will solve this problem, no doubt, with the same failed ideas.

The president wants to give a tax cut to small businesses that hire in 2010 – and presumably raise that tax right back up in 2011. Thereby destroying any gains made, if any are. Why not just end small business taxation all together? Imagine how many jobs would be created forever!

He also wants to eliminate for one year the capital gains tax on profits “from small business investments.” Yes, well you see, Mr. President, the capital gains tax which you increased destroyed the jobs that you are now riding to the rescue to create. But again, only for one year – and then in 2011, well, then, back to taxing “capital gains from profits.” That “capital gains” is a phrase for “profits,” and profits are capital gains – well you see the problem don’t you? He wants to cut the profits tax on profits. But only for one year. Then it’s back to taxing as usual. Which should bring us back to unemployment as usual. So brilliant is this that we can no longer laugh all the way to the bank, for we will have naught to put in the bank, for it was taxed away.

Now, still more mush ideas: His jobs plan will give more money to the already unemployed – which will employ them doing nothing. And he wants to “create” jobs for workers by giving them money to keep their health insurance. Yes, paying for health insurance will of course create Zero jobs, but it sure sounds good doesn’t it?

He also wants to cut fees on government loans in 2010 and perhaps reimpose them in 2011. That will help. Yeah. Why, if the government didn’t take the money in taxes first, coupled with not taxing profits, then no doubt small businesses might not need to pay any fees at all – to either get a government loan or all the spending required to do the taxes in the first place.

Obama is also going to give money to state and local governments to “discourage,” as Raum writes, them from laying off teachers, police officers and firefighters. Well, the money that will come from the feds came first from the state and locality into which this “new” money is going. But again, the overhead charge for this tax and spend regime is, mildly, 10 cents per dollar. Now, if the states had kept their money, they’d have an extra dime for every dollar. Still, it is wondrous federal money, as Senator Landrieu informs us, which is supposedly different than state money. Note, too, that why is it that when state and local governments are in a slump the first thing they threaten to lay off is teachers, police and firefighters? (They never do, it’s just a way to increase taxes.) Why is it that never, never ever, laying off state employees who are involved in say, oh, writing grants to get the federal money, or writing the reports about compliance for spending the federal money.

But, still, Raum writes: “Congressional approval would be required for the new spending.” In another article on the front page, about the health care taxation bill being discussed in Congress it is reported that “after six days of virtually round-the-clock negotiations” Congress is busy pouring over 2000 pages of health care taxation proposals without sleep even. Indeed, our Landrieu “was locked in” the room – which would seem to imply some sort of kidnapping, or improper restraint, but I’m no lawyer.

And why is Congressional action needed at all any more? After all, the EPA just yesterday announced that they were forced by Congressional refusal to tax exhalation, AKA CO2 – to tax it themselves. Why not just have the Department of Commerce or Labor, or Energy or whomever, all the entire sunshine band, just decree these things? There are plenty of Czars running around the marbled halls of Washington to make such decrees. Why bother with Congress at all. Not to mention that due to the EPA CO2 tax a-pending Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts is running around Congress to write a law giving the EPA the authority to do what they just did without Congress. He can find no one to help, alas, for they are locked in a room somewhere debating other tax legislation.

Obama proposes, too, $250 apiece to seniors and veterans to help the economy. Where will that $250 come from? Why, a tax. Tax on whom? Why, businesses. Which will raise their prices to cover the tax, so that this good money can be given to seniors so that they can pay the higher prices caused by the taxation. It’s like a merry go round. And nothing is more sunshiny than a day at the amusement park.

Meanwhile, in foreign news: “Uganda debating killing gay people.” WHAT? Yes, the good Congress of Uganda is debating passing a law to simply round up gay people and kill them. The AP informs us, rather disarmingly calmly, that “family and friends would face up to seven years in prison” for not turning in the gays to authorities to be shot. Amazing. And Uganda is a member of the British Commonwealth, as is the murderous Zimbabwe, a country of trillionaires, given the number of zeros they have on their currency. What a fine bunch of fellows, yes?

Still, gay rights activists say it “could set back efforts to combat HIV/AIDs.” Actually, it would not. It would alleviate the health care costs, and increase the combat – for killing people is indeed combative. And once dead no gay person would spread HIV at all. The problem, though, is that the majority of HIV cases in Uganda are straight folks, as in most of Africa. So it might not have an impact on HIV at all. But, it will, no doubt, help the Ugandan unemployment problem – killing job holders frees up jobs for the diminished number of job seekers, and more will be needed to guard the imprisoned family and friends of the killed gays. Where would Uganda get such a plan? From “US conservative Christian ministries who promote therapy for gays to become heterosexual.” Ah, I guess the fundmentalists have given up their plan to do the same here in America. Swell. And I suppose that killing gays will make them heterosexual, though I can’t quite figure out how.

Which brings me to our last headline on the merry go round: Employees at five state prisons in Louisiana are demanding automatic raises so that they might guard the imprisoned.

Now, I do have an odd suggestion for our Mr. President,
who does have a certain affinity for dictators;
and does want to adhere to international norms;
and thinks we are no more exceptional than any other nation;
and is enamored with the socialist economic system;
and has appointed any number of Mao loving advisers;
and is going to a socialist tax conference in Copenhagen;
where the dictator of Sudan, who is an indicted war criminal, is the leader of the “non-aligned” group of 77 poor nations, like Uganda;
and whose heritage is partly from Kenya, which is next to Uganda, of which he is rightly proud;
and does want to help in all manner of ways “his” people here in the USA;
can simply decree, as he is wont to do, such a simple solution as this:

1.Round up American gays and kill ’em. Which will:
2.lower health care costs for costly HIV people;
3.create jobs in the funeral industry;
4.free up jobs formerly held by gays for the unemployed to seek;
5.end opposition to his health care plan which he bemoans;
6.will end opposition to all his socialist schemes, which he wants to end;
7.will lower America’s carbon footprint;
8.will provide a needed poll boost from fundamentalist Christians;
9.will mean less need for teachers of gay students;
10.will mean less firefighters for gay homes;
11.will provide good police jobs to round up the gays;
12.will bring us into line with international norms;
13.and make us no more exceptional then the rest of the murderous nations of the UN;
14.will eliminate the need for discussion of the promises about gay rights which he has done nothing about;
15.and will mean less stimulus money to be paid out;
16.and will provide a whole new source of revenue from the seized assets of dead gay people;
17.and will simply make him popular with Iran, which has no gay people the president there said, and whom Obama wants to dialogue with about Irans plan to kill even more people than the students they killed just yesterday in the streets of its capital city.

Mr. Obama could solve so many things, as Mao and Stalin did, by just killing a few folks. My my, what a job program that would be! His advisers, enthralled with Mao they proclaim, are obviously slouching on the job.

So, dear reader, didn’t think I could tie that all in together eh? Ah, such is a language arts writer in America today. Why, I could get a job with the Associated Press! Or our Advocate!

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