Is the king crazy?

In a sign of sheer lunacy in our world, written the morning a full moon began its decline, it is reported in an unsigned, undated article in our Advocate that the Army (aka We the People’s defenders) wants to, as the article writter says: “evaluate (Nidal) Hasan to test his competency to stand trial as well as his mental state at the time of the shooting.” Um, yes, he’s crazy. Certainly so. Somehow or another he became deluded into thinking that anyone in Fort Hood alive at the moment he killed them had any responsibility whatsoever for the disaster that Arab Muslim societies are. Let’s take a look, shall we, into the mental state of poor misunderstood Nidal Hasan:

Yes, the vaunted 1400 year old Muslim culture, that has either kings or dictators in every leadership position from sea to shining sea oppressing and impoverishing people by the tens of millions collectively. From Mohammed VI of Morocco, on the Atlantic, (who among them all has perhaps the only claim to current legitimacy since his great+a few grandfather was the king of Morocco when it became the first country on earth to recognize the United States,) to the King of Jordan, whose lineage goes all the way back to1917 when his grandfather was plucked from obscurity by the King of England to be king of the sandbox. Then there is of course, the King of Saudi Arabia whose last name is Saud, making him the only guy in the world with a country named after his family. Not to mention the neo-pharaoh Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, grooming his son this very morning to be the next new-pharaoh tutting among the pyramids. To Assad of Syria, the dentist-boy-wonder who rushed back from the Kingdom of England, where he was studying molars and incisors, to become the “president” of the nation his father was the “president” of after dear old dad led the coup which killed the king installed by the Former Kingdom of France back in 1917. These new kingdoms came about in the Balfour Declaration, which also said, sure, hey why not, let the Jews go home to Jerusalem after 1900 years wandering far from home after the Emperor of Rome, in a senatorial moment said “go somewhere else.” That Syria is next to Jordan shows how cooperative the Former Kingdom and the Current Kingdom on either side of the English Channel could be so cooperative, as they are today in the EU (ee-you, sounds stinky don’t it?) No need to mention Libya whose current tent dwelling “president” has been in power since he killed his king back when the Beatles announced “love love me do” to the world and who is grooming his son to be elected by 98% of the people to be the next “president.”

On and on through the repressive regimes which for hundreds and hundreds, and, um, hundreds of years kept their people poor, hungry, illiterate and decrepit. Way back then, when the Catholic Crusaders left the Old Kingdoms of Europe to fight with the New Kingdoms of the Muslims in the Middle East – why, Columbus hadn’t even sailed forth to kill off the natives. At least even back then Pope and Imam were cooperating in their hatred of the Jews. But, then, as the King of Morocco so presciently noticed back in 1776, there was this odd group of folks who told the King, in a Senator Kent Conrad (D-ND) moment, to go somewhere else. And then, magically, being free from the clutches of a king, these people, known as Americans, built the freest, most powerful nation on earth lickety split.

In the first years of the world’s first Free Republic, in 1800 or so, a neighboring king of our Moroccan friend on the coast of North Africa did not like the new anti-king folks and so seized our ships, a la Somalia today. Whereupon the then president, Mr. Jefferson, who held certain truths to be self evident, did not hold a focus group, did not test the polls, did not give a speech parchmentized (um, no TV, no radio, just parchment.) to the nation from West Point, but merely sent the Marines and the Navy to pound the errant kingdom into the stone age in which they were still in until they cried uncle and left our ships alone. One would think, perhaps, with current ship seizures our current president would simply order the navy of We the People to make the Somalis cry uncle too. But no. That would be crazy, eh?

Anyway, over time the many kingdoms around the world disgorged their huddles masses yearning to be free into America. Most of these were a bit crazy, as we know from any old Uncle Joe or Aunt Eloise who may be coming over during the holidays with a most garrish gift. They being people who wanted to write what they wanted, go where they may, earn what they could, and in general did not want to be on the same page and in this together with their current king, and so left their ancient lands of kingly authority and came to the Free Republic. The kings of Europe, seeing how their more intelligent troublesome dissidents so readily left for America, concocted a most brilliant scheme to cut public health care expenditures. They emptied their prisons, insane asylums, poor houses and whorehouses, and low income neighborhoods on the welfare of the day into America. Sent them over by the boat load. This resulted in two things. One was a rather rambunctious American personality and a rather odd gene pool, while the milquetoast stayed home to be slaughtered for a few more centuries as kings moved their borders of taxing authority this way and that. The other was a new public works program to build some of the greatest palaces the world has ever known. Why, with the money Louis XIV, XV and XVI saved from not having to pay for the poor, crazy and criminals they shoved into Louisiana and French Canada, they were able to build and perfect Versailles. What a glory to the world! What a job creating summit! This public expense saving scheme lasted until the sons and daughters of the wackos, um, We the People, who left the great kingdoms of Europe went back and shut down the killing machine. Which is more or less what we are half-heartedly trying to do with the slaughter machines of the current kingdoms of the Muslim world.

Given that Mr. Hasan lived for so long among us who are anti-king, and were seeking, in our way, to get rid of the repression in his homeland, he should have known that we were his friends. However, Mr. Hasan does, still, apparently, believe in the glories of kingly power so that a few can live in palaces while the rest live in hovels and pay the taxes to support the palaces. So yes, I’d say he’s an incompetent boob. I’d say he’s crazy. I’d say he’s nuts. He’s criminally insane, morally insane, inhumanely insane. With no earthly or Godly clue between right (free republics) and wrong (kingly privilege.) But I’m no psychiatrist.

On the other hand, there is a catch-22 – that great tortuous reasoning that Major Major Major was involved in in the novel that gave us the phrase. That being a pilot in World War II saying he had to be crazy to fly his plane over the Kingdom of Romania to wreck the place (to whom we have not apologized at all yet,) and the psychiatrist saying ‘well, since you know you are crazy, that means you are sane and competent, therefore you are not crazy.’ So Mr. Hasan is certainly crazy to be in favor of kingly power and blasting to kingdom come any who interfered somehow peripherally with his goal. But since he knew that he was crazy like this, since he made no effort to hide what he was going to do, and carefully and meticulously plotted his plan with all the skill and intelligence we would expect from an Army Psychiatrist then he is not crazy. He was just, obviously, crazy to direct it at his friends, the freedom loving We the People defenders he killed, instead of directing his wrath at the pushers of kingly power in the land of his fathers. That’s why he is both crazy and not crazy. But I’m no psychologist.

Now, the writer of the article is crazy too. For this small reason: Hasan “was charged … with 32 counts of attempted premeditated murder relating to many soldiers and two civilian police officers wounded in the … attack.” Um, what? 32 counts for “many soldiers”? Let’s count, shall we? Two civilian police officers out of 32 wounded. How many soldiers, dear child-reporter, do we have left? 30. Exactly 30, not one more or less. But simple math, deductive subtraction, is perhaps difficult for our unsung hero-reporter of our Advocate, whose editors did not see fit to catch the glitch in reasoning because they were no doubt proving their math abilities to tell us, their readers, that indeed, Christmas is 22 days away.

Speaking of lousy math skills, way back in 1848 there was a rather crazy old fool, who sat in the British Library in London for twelve years concocting his grand scientific theory of socialism, which he put out in a two volume set. One is slim, the Communist Manifesto. The other thick, Das Kapital – Capitalism. In the first he rightly calls for the overthrow of kingly privilege, but erroneously concludes that the best replacement is kingly privilege. The dictatorship of the king for the dictatorship of the commissar was not going to be an improvement for the state of the huddle masses who were still booking it out of Europe. In the second, thicker volume he postulates the bizarre idea that everyone owns everyone elses labor except they don’t own their own. From each according to his ability to each according to his need. Every ruler who overthrew the kings of old thought they had great ability, which they showed by installing themselves as the new king, and thus they were entitled to what they needed. Which wasn’t quite different than what the killed king had thought. Only the words were changed to fool the innocent. No matter. Most of the world got rid of old kings, or at least shuffled them off to head parades while keeping the baubles glittering at home, and adopted the new kingly ideas set forth by the old fool. He was, of course, the illustrious Mr. Marx. Never had a job, loved the worker. Also said to his buddy Engel “it’ll never work in America, they never had a king.” But I’m not going to believe what he himself said, for he was crazy, and I’d be crazy to believe that what he said was what he meant.

Still, the world over, Marxism worked its magic on country after country, even in the Muslim world, so that they are still impoverished and repressed and are still hemorragghing people into the United States to be free just as they were back when real kings were on real thrones. For of late, worldwide, many of the political leadership figured out that it was good to be the king, even without the name. So they adopted the words of Marx to begin to instill the kingly prerogatives of executive orders and laws passed without so much as being read, or even written, just like has crazily happened of late in our dear country.

Which brings us to our second headline: Sarah Chacko of Our Advocate’s Capitol News Bureau says “more Louisiana families are receiving food stamps now than in the past 20 years, a trend mirroring national reports that more people are in need of federal assistance because of job loss.” Well, at least she takes credit for her mush. But, yes, well, and what do our political leaders plan to do about that? They tell us, as sure as Hasan shouted to the world what he intended to do. There in Congress Assembled, in our Legislature Convened and down at City Hall Counseled – what will they do? Well, the mayor wanted to raise sales taxes so that he could build a palace like park on mush-land that floods in a river that isn’t his. The state legislature is paying itself a bonus to see if they can figure out if the state is spending too much money on both unread contracts and an unknown number of employees while seeing if at the same time they are ethical enough to do so. And the president and congress are working diligently in extracting another trillion or so in taxes so that they can give us the money back in food stamps and health care. Our own Senator, the sister of the lieutenant governor, royally proclaimed that the dukes, lords and earls of Nevada and every other state have agreed to let her extract another 300,000,000 bucks from her people so that she might return it to us as a gift of federal aid from her heart to our hearth. Ah, the wonders of the new Aristocracy. Such largess. To be so noble as to give back to someone the money you took in the first place! And while claiming you are helping the victim of the premeditated theft is unparalleled in Christmas Spirit! Indeed, so much so, that even all of the seventeen Louix of France are spinning in their tombs.

As the Prince of North Dakota said just the other day, repeating, as the brother of the king of France, Phillipe Duc d’Orleans of our fair city le Nouvelle Orleans, said, “if you don’t like it, you can go somewhere else.”

No word of a count down by our Advocate on the tea party tar and feather march on political offices nationwide as the whole royal panoply of catch-22s comes a-crashing down like a Christmas Tree with a cinder block for a star does. I wonder if we are so crazy to have our competence questioned for putting up with this? Beats me. But then again, I’m just the deranged anti-king guy who was lucky enough to have his grandparents come “somewhere else” after the Emperor of Austria wanted to enlarge his tax borders so that he might improve upon Schonbrunn, the Rival of Versailles, by initiating World War I.

I myself, in a typically crazy capitalist moment will now go shopping with my last few remaining ducats for some cake.


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